How Do You...

[Zandria]

How do some of you guys deal with not seeing your SO for months on end, example being 6+ months? Especially when you haven't met your SO yet?

My recent thread talked about how my mother refused to let me go see my SO, even though I'm independently on my own, the idea of it bothered her. My SO got upset because he felt bad that everyone was judging me because of him, which I told him it wasn't his fault. So, we concluded that he should see me first, but it won't happen this upcoming fall semester since he has football. And it will probably happen winter break or spring semester.

What have you guys done to cope with not seeing them for months on end, or even for the first time yet? Even if you guys haven't seen each other less than six months, I would gladly like to know! (Note - this would be our first time seeing each other.)

[theyellowdart]

My lady and I would have movie nights, and play online games together (like WoW - or whatever else we can come up with thats interesting).. or just look up stuff together online and chat about it.. communication is very important in LDRs and making them last!

However, we did meet for the first time last week, and I must say since meeting in person its a completely different ball game.. I miss her so much now and I spend a lot of time just moping around.. i'm sure that will pass though in time :\

[NaNi]

The longest time I've gone without seeing my SO was 9 months. Next year it will be probably 10 or 11 months. We cope with monthly love letters, emails and a Skype talk once a week (due to school/uni and a 10 hour time difference).

[Zandria]

My lady and I would have movie nights, and play online games together (like WoW - or whatever else we can come up with thats interesting).. or just look up stuff together online and chat about it.. communication is very important in LDRs and making them last!

My guy and I watch Dexter together over Netflix and other movies, I'm not sure how to dabble into getting him to something like games, I know Skype has games we could play, so maybe I'll talk him into that! We communicate every day, whether by texting, talking on the phone, or skyping. We both have the issue where we can't not talk to the other, even for a day, since we feel like something's missing, lol.

[Zandria]

The longest time I've gone without seeing my SO was 9 months. Next year it will be probably 10 or 11 months. We cope with monthly love letters, emails and a Skype talk once a week (due to school/uni and a 10 hour time difference).

That's amazing! I guess I'm just super nervous and anxious, I don't want to have to wait that long, but I'm trying to appease my family's thoughts. I don't know how I could live with not talking to my SO for more than a week, I nearly had a nervous breakdown when I didn't talk to him for 4-5 days, lol. So, you definitely inspire me, how is your relationship going now with your SO, is it hard with the minimal communication?

[NaNi]

That's amazing! I guess I'm just super nervous and anxious, I don't want to have to wait that long, but I'm trying to appease my family's thoughts. I don't know how I could live with not talking to my SO for more than a week, I nearly had a nervous breakdown when I didn't talk to him for 4-5 days, lol. So, you definitely inspire me, how is your relationship going now with your SO, is it hard with the minimal communication?

We had our ups and downs. We had some really tough times, too. It's just not easy. Hearing your SO's voice once a week is not much, but we usually try to be happy with what we've got. Even if it's not as much as we'd like.

[LadyMarchHare]

I think sometimes it's more about thinking about what you do have than what you don't. It wasn't until almost a year into our relationship that we were able to see each other despite trying twice before and there's no guesstimate even of when we will see each other again. It's very hard because naturally you want to be with them as often as financially possible but I think letting that ruin your mood is sort of silly when you still have the opportunity for webcam, phone calls, e-mails, and so on. You've still got the ability to learn how their day was, comfort them, and have fun, it's just a minor percentage that's missing from the big picture.

It depends on the person though, I know a lot of people can't honestly go a week without talking to their SO, can't go a month without seeing them, touching them and that's fine because it's how they live. Me, I take what I can get and just thank my lucky stars I get anything at all.

[Phimini]

Corey and I try our best to chat whenever we can, on skype, IRC, Steam, or whatever we feel like. Now that he's in Thailand there is an 11 hour difference between us so talking can be hard sometimes. But, generally, it seems to be working out well talking to him when I get up (his evening) and before bed (his morning). Other times we sometimes play Team Fortress 2 together online, call each other on skype, or just leave little messages on each other's facebooks. We used to text all day and call each other on the phone when he was still in the states but now that he's abroad, we can't do that anymore without some huge phone bills. :\

It's only been six days since I last saw him but knowing I'll likely have to wait a year or more to see him again... sometimes I feel like I'm almost panicking because I'm scared things will break down and fizzle out while he's gone, especially when we just started dating.

When I'm feeling down, I try to think of what I'd like to happen when we're together again, for good. I've always been a 'what if' person, a dreamer, so I'm always thinking about what could happen. I try not to make 'plans' so much as just... imagine possibilities since things can change over time. I like to think about moving to Indiana with him, being there when he pays off his house and buys a new one where we can live together, just us. I day dream about getting a cat for him and finding a job there and finding a school where I could transfer to so I won't have to go back home for school in the fall and spring. I try to remember that, even though this sucks right now, it'll be better someday.

[princessmeg1328]

My SO just left yesterday after not seeing each other for four months. I know it's not as long as some couples go without seeing each other, but it's definitely hard. We got through it just by keeping busy and skyping. At the time, he had work and I was student teaching so we had a lot of things to keep us busy. It made the time seem to go by a lot faster. Like a lot of other people here, we have a time difference as well. It's 6 hours.

[ClipitsWings]

i haven't met my guy yet and we've known eachother for over three years now
communication at least once a day or a couple of days help; we talk sunday through thursday night and day but friday/saturday gets difficult between me having t be home to talk and him having a life, but we know we're gonna get right back to talking too
spending time on here helps XD as does distraction. i have a ton of art projects (and schoolwork >>) to deal with, so its a bit less time to obsess over tie constraints
maybe planning what you want to do with him a little could at least put the time into a positively productive light?

just sme tidbits, hope it helps and congrats

[Silviar]

I focus on my life and the stuff I enjoy, and live to the fullest. I cry when I am sad, and i let myself get over it and keep going forward being happy with what I have in my life. (Since my SO and I were US/Australian distance, we waited 6 months at least per visit)

[books]

I'm going to visit my SO this week (!!) after not seeing him for 5 months. It has really sucked...we were CD before so it is just devastating to go from seeing your SO every day to not seeing them at all. Also, due to his non-existent internet access, we have no communication online...just twice weekly telephone calls. I guess just keeping busy is how we deal with it.

[13000km]

my boyfriend and I first met two days before our first year mark, but had spent more or less every single day in that year with some kind of communication with each other, primarily video calling. I know that this is not possible for a lot of couples out there, but it's what made things slightly easier for us. Between then and this June, it'll be just over 5 months long, and this period of time was equally tough, or even harder.

[jenny_ell]

i see my boyfriend once about every 3-4 months. we are international so when i am not with him i spend that time working almost full time, trying to save money for another visit. i run at the gym, do yoga, browse shops, find recipes and try them......but not gonna lie, spend alot of time miserable and going crazy at home. i have been reading A LOT and catching up watching movies i haven't seen. i feel like a huge bum sometimes. its not easy but once you get over the halfway mark it gets a little better ;/

[BlueCat]

We talk on skype when we can. Otherwise, if I know he's not going to be around, I try to keep myself busy. I find that if I keep myself busy, I don't notice that I miss him as much because I'm thinking about other things, and I feel better in myself because I'm accomplishing something rather than moping around. Although I do also like to mope from time to time You can't be strong all the time.

But even one of us is working, or we can't skype for a few days, we still send little text messages to each other, asking how the other is, saying we miss/love them etc. I find that just to be able to get a reasonably quick response, to know that he's there, even though he's not physically, is a comfort to me.

---------- Post added at 11:23 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:23 PM ----------

We talk on skype when we can. Otherwise, if I know he's not going to be around, I try to keep myself busy. I find that if I keep myself busy, I don't notice that I miss him as much because I'm thinking about other things, and I feel better in myself because I'm accomplishing something rather than moping around. Although I do also like to mope from time to time You can't be strong all the time.

But even one of us is working, or we can't skype for a few days, we still send little text messages to each other, asking how the other is, saying we miss/love them etc. I find that just to be able to get a reasonably quick response, to know that he's there, even though he's not physically, is a comfort to me.