Trying to be supportive, but it hurts.

[LostInLove]

Hi Meg,

I don't think you're overreacting, I know how much it sucks to have a trip cancelled no matter what the reason. And where it sounds like he put off work and now has to catch up, I can see why you would be especially upset. However, I also agree with Miramaid. I am not currently doing, nor have I done, a dissertation, but I've heard how stressful and time-consuming they can be. I know even just doing my bachelors there are days when the workload can get overwhelming and it's easier to just not face it. I can understand why even when he has a day off, he may just want it to sit around by himself and relax. If I were you I would let him know you're upset that the visit got cancelled so last minute, and that if he can't make it out for a visit soon then try and get him to agree to you coming down to visit instead. However, try to continue to be understanding if it's still hard for him to make a visit work. I know it must be hard, but be strong and once his dissertation's done things should get a lot easier.

[meg]

Hello all, OP here!
Thanks so much for the supportive comments. I'm still hurt, and kinda angry, but now it's just sorta numbed into that dull ache you get when you miss your partner. I'm sure you all know the feeling.
Just to clarify, his dissertation is degree class, not post-grad or PHD. Not that it makes it any less daunting, 10,000 words is a lot, and I want him to do well. If it takes me not being a priority, then that's what he needs to do.
I'm glad I'm not overreacting, and that others would feel hurt too.
Also to clarify, the distance is only 4 hours on a train. We're talking about 350 miles, and I'm lucky it's only that. But yeh, it still sucks. I guess another 2 months, in the grand scheme of things, isn't that much. I can wait.... perhaps.
Thanks all. Shall keep you updated!

[holdinghands]

Hello all, OP here!
Thanks so much for the supportive comments. I'm still hurt, and kinda angry, but now it's just sorta numbed into that dull ache you get when you miss your partner. I'm sure you all know the feeling.
Just to clarify, his dissertation is degree class, not post-grad or PHD. Not that it makes it any less daunting, 10,000 words is a lot, and I want him to do well. If it takes me not being a priority, then that's what he needs to do.
I'm glad I'm not overreacting, and that others would feel hurt too.
Also to clarify, the distance is only 4 hours on a train. We're talking about 350 miles, and I'm lucky it's only that. But yeh, it still sucks. I guess another 2 months, in the grand scheme of things, isn't that much. I can wait.... perhaps.
Thanks all. Shall keep you updated!

glad to see you are being so brave and coping with it You clearly have a good mindset! Good luckwith whatever happens!!