Worries About Going Out

[San]

Hey all,

I have a bit of an issue. I'm really scared and worried something might happen when she goes out. She will go out with her friends sort of as a last get together before she finishes high-school. It's open bar and she wants to get drunk. She never managed to and she says she just wants to be drunk once. I'm not really pro-alcohol at all, but I understand it's something she really wants to do just once and such...

Even so, I'm scared to death something might happen, haha. We had a long talk and I treated her a bit like a little kid. Saying things about alcohol and such. In the end I apologized and I realized she's not irresponsible and she's with friends and such. It'll be okay. But I can't shake the feeling. Also when she goes to college, there is like this initiation where people get drunk and make others do stuff and cut hair and all these wild things. I probably won't be there for that either.

I am so worried not necessarily of what she will do at all, but more about guys or other people doing something bad to her. I can picture the scenarios... and I feel so bad. I know it's silly, normally nothing happens and it's not healthy to just sit inside all day. It's good to go out from time to time too if you like that. Not go completely wild, but yeah. Whenever she has really bad cramps it's the same thing... I'm so worried for her health and safety. Once a guy on the street put a gun to her face and stole her mobile. She got lucky he didn't do more, but I was so damn sad and scared. I cried, even though she was crying out of fear and because of what happened, I cried too... I felt awful for her, but I also felt awful, because I couldn't do anything and I'm damn scared that she might get hurt sometime.

What it comes down to is that I'm going to let her go and I don't want to make her feel bad just because I worry a lot. She knows I do, but she needs to do things she love and I know she takes what I feel and I think already into account. I'll support her, of course. It's more how I can handle these worries. I know when she goes I'll be pacing around my room going crazy here. I only wish I could be with her all the time, but that's not healthy or good either... I don't know what to do.

I love her to death... I can't handle her getting hurt...


Thanks so much for any comments, advice, input,

Have a nice day,

San.

[archangel]

It is only human for you to worry about your SO. Even I worry, when I know I shouldn't.

Maybe you could ask her to drink a little but stop before she is drunk? Also ask her if she wants to get drunk you want to be by her side so nothing happens. Will you be able to meet each other in person anytime soon? since then you would be able to with her wherever she goes.
May I ask where your SO is?

[Sara]

worrying like that is completely normal, but i think at some level, you just have to trust her. her friends will make sure she is ok, and it is better for her to know her alcohol limits before she goes to something like college initiations. maybe you should talk to her friends ahead of time, if possible,or tell her to call you while she is drunk. knowing how she handles it will probably make you feel better, and worry less about college. hope things work out for you.

[San]

Hey,

Well, my sunshine lives in Brazil, haha. Far, far away. Unfortunately, she really wants to get drunk once and she will go to that party before I am there again. We will meet in July and it's all fine then and such. It's just mostly when I seriously can't be there.And I know this 'last' meet up of sorts means a lot to her. I trust her, but I don't trust the environment. I mostly mean in harming her. But I do need to let it go a bit...

I don't know how...

Thanks for the support.

[Mio]

I hope the drunken night when well!