when mothers get in the way......

[chi]

So, it has been decided that I will be moving to Japan for 6 months to work and to be with my SO. So far planning has been crazy and my SO is trying to be hard on me so i know what I'm getting into. I do. I'm prepared for anything that may happen. My father happens to be a partner at the firm I work at and I have finally gotten through to him and he has somewhat accepted the desire for me leave my job and take on the world with an open mind. My mother on the other hand- is well.. more old school and theres only so much convincing my father can do.

A Couple of days ago I found out that my mother has been emailing my SO asking him to Skype. He apparently agreed to speak to her. I have all these thoughts of betrayal running through my head. I feel betrayed by my mother for wanting to go behind my back and disucss my future or hell knows what with him.

I didnt want to confront him yet.. I asked him if he would ever keep anything from me.. not really giving him any sort of reason or hint to what he might be keeping from me. But automatically says "do you think im cheating on you?" and "if you dont trust me by now than i cant help you" IT has nothing to do with cheating or trust.. i trust him with all my heart.. and know that he would never do that.. thats not my issue.. my issue is why he would keep that from me. and why he would talk to my mother in the first place?...

i dont know what to feel... should i stop with my weird questions to him? or do I confront my mother? i feel betrayed by her.. and slightly by him for keeping this from me..


help =/

[Engel]

maybe he doesnt want to tell you now so you wont feel he is trying to put you against your mom with gossip. maybe he is waitting to talk to her first so them he can tell you. seems logic to me. relax a little, everything will be ok.


in my case, my mom is the supportive one, if was for my father.. well... i wouldnt be anywhere if it was for him. selfish self centered man. (yes, i am mad at my father, sorry for the simi hijack of the thread! lol)

[snow_girl]

You don't know what they were discussing, for all you know it could be a surprise they are planning for you. If that isn't the case maybe your mom just wanted to talk to him about making sure he's going to take care of you and didn't want to say anything to you and make you feel silly. There are tons of possibilities it could be. Before you get too angry I am sure there is a good reason for your mom contacting your SO. If it's bothering you that much just ask your mom what she contacted him for, but don't get mad and accuse her of anything cause it may not be anything worth worrying over.

[Sano]

You should talk to your mom before you get too bent out of shape about it

[Karringtyn]

I agree...talk to your Mother first...

[knhdarw]

my mom did sorta the same thing except she contacted him AND his best friend over facebook i asked him about it not in a confrontational way. But i felt he'd tell me what she said and asked even though i have the back and forth messages. I wasnt to upset but it still mad me sad that she thinks that i cant make my own decisions about my life. But i would say talk to them both go at both of them with understanding that they want the best for you. Thats what i did and it turned out very good my mom cried cause i was Quote "leaving her and moving on, i wasnt her little girl anymore" haha shes just afraid to loose you and wants to make sure that he has your best interest @ heart good luck honey.. N God Bless it'll work out i wouldnt let this get ya bent outta shape. By what i can tell the both of them love you very much and just want whats best for you

[LadyMarchHare]

Gonna echo the others with 'talk to your mom'. The longer you let your thoughts sit in Assumption Land, the worse you're going to come up with when the reality may not be as bad. I'd personally rather my mom be willing to speak one on one with my SO than refuse to just because, what they talk about is essentially their business and if they don't need to tell you, they really don't have to. But again, I suggest talking to your mom.

[folclor]

yah, talk to your mom about it. I can see how anyone's mom would want to talk to their SO, especially if you're the one going to be with him for a while. She's a mom. she's worried. I agree with everyone else, please talk to her first.