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SO's Grandfather to pass away very soon.

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    SO's Grandfather to pass away very soon.

    My SO is coming home on Saturday.. I'm obviously over-the-moon THRILLED that I get to see him, but so upset over the reason why. (FYI: He is the one who lives away. I still live in the same city with both of our families.)

    His Grandpa is on hospice in the hospital and the doctors just told his family that it looks like he will pass away within the next 24 hours. My SO is obviously, devastated. He was close with his Papa. It's especially difficult for him dealing with all of this while being away.

    Has anyone else experienced their SO losing someone while they weren't home? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.. I feel like I'm helping, but I could be doing more. It's hard to find the right words to say..

    TIA.
    Live.Laugh.Love.ALWAYS.

    #2
    My Grandpa passed away a week before I came home. It was hard. I think the best thing you can do it just be there for him. Weather its sitting in silence and holding his hand or talking about it. If he does become distant like many do when they lose someone, don't take it personally.

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      #3
      I was on the other side of this. It was my grandpa who was sick. He had cancer and he passed away and during it, it was really hard. Slowly seeing my grandpa get sicker and sicker. Just being able to vent to him helped alot, and him just lending his support if i needed to talk helped me. And then one day he made me a 10 minute long video, just talking, just so i could hear his voice. He talked about his day and what he was doing and, it was nice because it got my mind off things and i just closed my eyes and listened to him.
      There really isn't much you can do during this tho, its horrible and sad, but its apart of life. So just being there and letting your SO know your there i think is more helpful than anything.
      I love you Nathan <3
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      5/25/09 <3

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        #4
        I visited my SO a few months ago and his grandfather happened to die while I was visiting. We both drove back together to spend time with his family and attend the funeral. Sometimes there's not much you can say or do but just be there for them. I felt like I was supposed to be doing more, but just being around to help out the family when they needed it (helping with meals and helping sort through pics for the funeral, etc), or to offer my SO comfort when he needed it, was enough. He was really appreciative of me just taking the time to be there for everything. So, I guess what I am trying to say is that my presence was enough. I am sure your SO will feel the same. Sometimes in these sort of situations there isn't really much we can do, even though we wish there was.

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          #5
          A relative of mine (who acted like a mother to me) passed away rather suddenly at the very beginning of my relationship with my SO. Just having my boyfriend there to talk to when I needed someone meant a lot, but at the same time, I appreciated him not bringing it up with me all the time. It was nice to be able to go to him and just talk about other things in life. He helped take my mind off the situation.

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            #6
            I'm so sorry to hear about what's going on hun. Make sure to respect their privacy and space if they need it - grief is exhausting. If they need help with physical chores, offering to help with that, clean-up, making food or just letting them know that however they need a hand you're happy to pitch in is helpful. If he needs to vent, just let him ramble on and remember that grief colors our words and actions, so try not to take anything personally.


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              #7
              Im really sorry to hear that.

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                #8
                Sorry to hear. My grandparents are all deceased and im close with my SOs gparents. He is extremely close to his Grandpa on his moms side. I know he would be devastated. That's rough.

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