"You deserve someone better than me"

[Kiba]

Ok, i made her cry last night because i made a video for our 4 months LDR. In my previous posts, i am having problems with her with some issues.. specially not letting me see her.. She read and watched my letters and videos so many times then i suddenly noticed that she is crying... I asked her why and she told me that "you deserve better than me, someone who will love you the way you love me, without any conditions. Unlike me that always make you suffer for my own satisfaction. You are always there for me even though i treat you harsh.". Then she burst into tears.

When your SO tells you this, What would be your reaction?

[LadyMarchHare]

Honestly it sounds like she has a self esteem problem, especially if she's unable to make videos or write or anything to "match" what you've done for her. All you can do is reassure her of your feelings regardless of what she does or does not do for you. Talk it out with her, find out why she's feeling the way she is, and be honest with her. If she honestly wants to do better or do more, let that be a goal you both can work on together.

[Sano]

All I can say is try to be patient. I dont like taking photos for my bf either but it'll probably get easier after we have our visit. But I guess its a little different for us because it took me forever to get a picture out of him. XD

[Moon]

My SO would never tell me that, and neither would most other people's. She's telling you she wants to make you suffer, for her own satisfaction, and you've posted multiple threads (one was enough, actually ) about her refusal to let you see her on cam. I've got to ask, why are you with this girl? You do understand that love isn't always enough and it doesn't conquer all, I hope. I think you completely see the red flags, but are looking for any way you can to excuse them, and that can only lead to heartache. You need to step back and think very carefully with your head, and not your heart, about what's going on here.

[NaNi]

My SO told me this before. Several times. Especially during fights. I never pay attention to it though. I tell her that I'm with her for a reason and that I'm in love with her.

[Engel]

Maybe she knows better and is hiding something from you, and is using you as an ego boost. maybe she knows better than you why she is feeling guilty and cried. you should really ask her. i would never be in a ldr with someone i never saw in the webcam. is already really hard as it is.

---------- Post added at 05:31 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:31 PM ----------

sorry to be the devils advocate here. but this whole situation with your so is just weird IMHO.

[Engel]

My SO would never tell me that, and neither would most other people's. She's telling you she wants to make you suffer, for her own satisfaction, and you've posted multiple threads (one was enough, actually ) about her refusal to let you see her on cam. I've got to ask, why are you with this girl? You do understand that love isn't always enough and it doesn't conquer all, I hope. I think you completely see the red flags, but are looking for any way you can to excuse them, and that can only lead to heartache. You need to step back and think very carefully with your head, and not your heart, about what's going on here.

That. (i hadnt read your post before i replied. nice to know im not the only one thinking that.

[redbellepepper]

sounds like she has a self esteem problem...

i used to have low self-esteem. although my SO and i physically met years before we became LD, i had this issue of showing myself on cam. i know it sounds ridiculous but that's how i was. but my SO often tells me things that would boost my esteem. his effort has made me overcome shyness, at least to him. i also felt that he deserves someone better, and i actually said that to him. if i remember it right, i told him that every time i look at the mirror, i feel that i'm no good for him. he just replied---"then don't look at the mirror, look at me." so you may want to do things that would also boost her esteem. you can tell her that no matter what, your feelings remain unchanged. i hope things will get better with you soon.