Friends that you just don't trust.

[LadyMarchHare]

See he was the one to tell me she's texting him anyway. He was like, 'Um.. She's texting me again today? =S' She's done some horrible things to him in the past. For example, blaming one of her ex's suicide attempt on him. And this was when we'd just started going out, and myself and my SO still hadn't met in person. I don't know why I'm friends with her anymore.

Because your boyfriend is totally the cause of her misery, everybody else's misery, and probably a World War as well. Right. I have a question out of pure curiousity and pretty much nothing else, though. Was she always like this, I mean from the day you guys met? Because if she wasn't and was some semblance of a nicer/better person I can imagine that would be a reason why you've hung around so long despite her stupidity and all the drama she stirs up.

And well at the very least you know whatever stunt she's pulling is one-sided if your guy's annoyed by the fact she's texting him and tells you.

[chwdg10]

Make it clear to your SO that this situation makes you very uncomfortable too.

[Snowy.Winter]

That is not a friend. As some-one has mentioned previously, she's obviously went through your phone, which is your personal property, to get your SO's number. Then she doesn't tell you that she's been texting him? Does your SO know what she's like? I wouldn't be a fan of telling my SO what to do, but if I was in your shoes, I would explain to my SO what she's been doing, say that she went through your property to get the number. I highly doubt she would just go through your phone to get the number to say hi, if she wanted to do that, she could've just asked you. She sounds like some-one who just wants attention, and I'd try my best to get away from that, no-one needs anyone who brings drama along with them wherever they go.
Good luck!

[Lunar Snow]

Run, don't walk from this girl! I know it may feel difficult to intentionally lose a friend, but this girl is not being a friend to you. I know you might also feel a little embarrassed or disappointed that you counted her as a friend, but as LMH said, maybe she wasn't always like this or maybe it was exciting to hang around with someone who seemed popular and such. Now, though, she is used to damaging and interfering in relationships and no good can come of her being a presence in your life--I have had similar friends and kept giving them chances, but I had to learn the hard way sometimes that I just needed to end the friendship.

I am in the same camp as some of the others, where I would think it better to just talk to your SO about it and distance yourself from this girl, rather than confront her. I think she is the type of person who thrives on drama and discord and confronting her might just feed the monster. If you do want to confront her (I can see that that might give you some sort of closure as to what she did), do so after you have talked about this thoroughly with your SO and can present a solid front against ensuing drama.

Maybe I missed your comment about this, but it seems odd that he would continue texting with her and the circumstance around how they started texting in the first place are unclear. I see that maybe if he was trying to plan a special surprise for you, but when you quote him as saying, "Um.. She's texting me again today? =S," I have to think that she is being very shady. Based on the quote from your SO there, too, I think he is actually looking for you to tell him that this makes you uncomfortable. Often, most of us want to have our SO's friends like us and don't want to offend them or our SO if we don't like them or don't want to talk to them, so we may hesitate to say something about odd behaviour. I think he is implying that he doesn't like her texting him, but because you maybe haven't said enough about how you are uncomfortable, your SO may think you would be upset if he ignored her or told her to stop texting him.

Yes, we shouldn't have carte blanche to tell our SOs what to do, but I think this is definitely a case where you need to tell your SO how uncomfortable their texting makes you and why, and ask him to stop communicating with her (possibly block her). Asking is not telling and this is a situation where no good can come of their texting--it's an all around bad news bear.

[ClipitsWings]

ah, i can kinda relate; there was a girl who hates me who started trying to im my slutmuffin constantly; but he found her annoying and knew her relationship with me, so he just had fun trolling her by telling her about how great i am and how much he loves me XD

...however, i'd have to say that this girl sounds like a dangerous friend to have, especially if she didn't even tell you that she started talking to him (sounds like ulterior motives, to me anyway). you could make him aware of her tendency to break up relationships so he'll wary of tricks, and if you're truly worried, which i might be, i might ask her to stop, or him to, or however that situation might go easiest for you. i think i'd try to keep her away from your lovelife. good luck

[Boniouk]

Lots of people giving you advice about talking to the girl, id probably disagree. If you are 100% sure that this SO is important to you and your future, then that is your priority. Friends will come and go over your lifetime. Talk to him, tell him everything you said to us, you could even tell him you posted online about it and just show him your message as it explains it clearly. Then say, if it was the other way round, would he like a popular guy texting her every day? im sure if hes a good guy he will cut contact as others said

[Boniouk]

Lots of people giving you advice about talking to the girl, id probably disagree. If you are 100% sure that this SO is important to you and your future, then that is your priority. Friends will come and go over your lifetime. Talk to him, tell him everything you said to us, you could even tell him you posted online about it and just show him your message as it explains it clearly. Then say, if it was the other way round, would he like a popular guy texting her every day? im sure if hes a good guy he will cut contact as others said

[Mizpah]

You need to cut her lose, and express to your SO how this makes you feel. You don't have to tell him what to do, but if he knows how you feel and what she's capable of, then common sense and love would dictate that he stop texting her. It's a good sign that he's the one who told you about her contact, and that he doesn't seem comfortable with it. I have been there before and it tore apart my extended family. I have a female cousin who is 6 months younger than me. Her bipolar mom had her out of spite when she found out my mom was pregnant (this is public knowledge to everyone but my cousin), and tried to pit us against each other. My mom and I weren't into competition, but they still tried to have a one-sided one. As a part of that, my cousin went after any guy I was interested in, involved with, or dating. She set her sites on my LDR "bf" (we were together for maybe two years, but he came from a strict home and wasn't allowed to really date or have a girlfriend). She copied and pasted his email address from a forward I had sent to some friends, and started IMing and emailing him incessantly. He told her he thought I was amazing, and wanted to be with me, so she flipped and tried to tell her mom that he was a pervert and tried to get her on the webcam on a day and a at a time that I knew he was mowing his pastor's lawn. Her mom believed her, and flipped out on me and then in turn my parents and started having an episode in which she accused my parents of a lot of awful things. She ended up attacking me in front of my dying great grandmother and not even remembering it, and tried to turn her against me in the last moments of her life! The extended family broke apart and took sides (the brothers and their families knowing she's nuts, but the sister and her family siding with them). That was when I was 14 or 15 and the aunt didn't apologize and start mending fences until after my mamaw died last year when I was twenty. So while I doubt your situation will escalate to quite that degree you need to step as far away from this girl and situation as possible and avoid the drama she likes to create. People like her don't tend to change. My husband and I eloped last year on August 7th, and my cousin knew we had planned a renewal for this year until we changed our minds. Before we changed our minds, she planned her wedding originally set for June of 2012 for the day before our anniversary and intended renewal date, this year. Rise above the nonsense, but don't be a doormat.

[traditionalgirl75]

I agree with everyone else. She isn't a true friend if she is texting your SO behind your back. You deff. should confront her & ask her about it.