Constant Arguing

[Boniouk]

Well, we had a talk about our arguing, and some truths came out. Seems that when she visited me, she realised she wants to live her with me and obviously we got engaged as well so everything is perfect. She'll be moving here in Dec. But as for the arguing, she said sometimes she resents me because my life is better than hers, and my life is also where she wants to be. So she gets angry at me for not realising how hard her life is. Dominican republic can be quiet rough and uneducated compared to UK.

anyone else find this to be true? the main person causing the petty arguments is the one wanting to be where the other is and not really enjoying their life away just waiting?

[Sunbeam]

I'm not really sure if that's the case with my SO and I. When we meet, I'll have to tell you if I notice that.
I know I am the one with the major insecurities that start our fights and I am the one who wants to move to the UK... but, I don't know if that's strictly our problem.

[Boniouk]

Well maybe you have a good life where you are, you just also want to be with him.

My SO however is in a very poor city, needs 3 buses to get to her college, then 3 back, long waits in between. and her parents dont even notice her. So she does get upset alot. Then im here sitting around watching tv most nights on the sofa. I think she finds it hard and kinda hates me sometimes for it :S I wish we could swap for 5 months.

[13000km]

Well, we had a talk about our arguing, and some truths came out. Seems that when she visited me, she realised she wants to live her with me and obviously we got engaged as well so everything is perfect. She'll be moving here in Dec. But as for the arguing, she said sometimes she resents me because my life is better than hers, and my life is also where she wants to be. So she gets angry at me for not realising how hard her life is. Dominican republic can be quiet rough and uneducated compared to UK.

anyone else find this to be true? the main person causing the petty arguments is the one wanting to be where the other is and not really enjoying their life away just waiting?

I have a good life here. Family, friends, money, but I don't enjoy my life here. I hate the lifestyle. I don't necessarily think that he has a better life than me, but going to him means leaving what I dislike here. I don't resent or hate him because I'm sure he has his own struggles to face, and I will too wherever in the world I go. I don't want his life. I'll be happier anywhere away from Singapore and even happier to be in the same place he is.

[NaNi]

My SO and I don't constantly argue, but we argue a fair bit more than we do in person. Especially the last few months have been really hard on us. Small things turn into big things and we're both too stubborn to let it go that easily. In person we might talk about it and have a bit of alone time, but we're also able to "make up". With kisses, touches or, well, more. You can't do that online. You can send an email and apologize for your behavior, but it's way easier in person. Which is why our in person fights never last longer than hours. The distance just really gets to us on some days. It's really nothing else. There's no extreme jealousy or anything like that. We just want to be together.

[BlueCat]

We do argue more online. However there's not really a pattern to it, it's simply when we're both stressed more. I have noticed though that it seems we both feel the stress of the distance at the same times, like it can be 3 months into the seperation and we'll both start to feel it for a while then it will go away again. I think that perhaps we feed off each others energy a bit in that regard. We do go through our bouts of arguing, but most times, at least for myself, I know that I'm simply just sick of being apart and tired of the distance. I sometimes do get annoyed when he's not around to talk to me and I think he should be, but that's just me missing him and he does have a life that he needs to live there while we're apart.