Men & Women are simply... different :)

[LovingHim]

I came across this post on the internet:

I have been in a long distance relationship for six months. We are about 400 miles apart. I'm 20 and she's 21. She has done a lot for me including visiting me. For example, she has made a video of us after the second month we were dating and on valentines she made a DVD about how much she wished we spent Valentines together and baked me brownies and then mailed them to me. For my birthday and for Christmas put together, she bought me an Ipod. I really love that girl and I feel like she is the right one, but for the past two months, she has been fighting with me every week because she thinks that I don't try hard enough to make this relationship work. Like she always complains that I have to be more creative and that I need to do more little things for her. In a way she's right. In terms of little things, gifts, and details, she has done a lot more for me than I have done for her. But, I do a lot of big things for her; like I tell her that I love her all the time, I've visited her three times, I took her out in the parking lot and taught her to drive a standard, when I took a family vacation during winter break I bought her something to show her that I was thinking about her the whole time, when we see each other I take her on romantic dates, in plus I am almost always the one who has to call her first, and it was also my idea for her to download skype so we can video chat. However, I do have a bad habit of always forgetting to open the door for her and that's only one of the things that she's complained about. When we argue she tells me hurtful things that make me feel like she doesn't even appreciate me (ex: "You act like you don't even care.... Actions speak more than words.... You may say that you care but you don't mean it"). I'm tired of her always feeling that way. Can anybody please give me some good advice? I really want her to feel that she means a lot to me.

I realised that my relationship is very similar (although we don't agrue about it), he treats me nice (takes me out, pays for everything), but he never does these little things, he wouldn't even think about sending me an e-card whereas I sent him sweets, letter, pictures blah blah.

For me, it's not about getting a present, but about the fact that your SO knows what you like and what makes you happy. When we are apart, it would remind me of him, I could touch it, read it. For example, for my birthday my boyfriend took me out for a dinner, which was great, but we didn't even take pictures from that night

Reading that post made me realise that if he had done such a thing at least once, it would make the distance 10000% more bearable for me than it is now. Does anyone else feel like this?

[iamangel]

Hi there I think this article could help
https://beyondjane.com/relationships...essive-enough/

[Rugger]

I'm always the one sending things and letters to my SO. He has never once went me a real letter or a present in the mail that's just because. I've learned not to mind it, because we are different people. We show our love in different ways. I'm the one who sends him little gifts and keeps us together when we are apart na he's the one who is affectionate when we are together. We are just wired differently.

[Malaga]

Seems like the girl from the post is filling the space with her acts of affection, there's hardly room for him to do something to surprise her. Even when he does display affection, as he apparently frequently does, it doesn't measure up. Six months is still early in the relationship, yet she's made a lot of effort, even bought him an iPod? That's setting the bar pretty high. No wonder she feels unfulfilled and he feels under pressure.

[LovingHim]

Hi there I think this article could help
https://beyondjane.com/relationships...essive-enough/

I've read that article, but I don't think it applies at my relationship, my boyfriend compliments me daily, I just miss having something FROM him FOR me

I shouldn't probably look into this too much, apparently he is not the only guy who doesn't do these things.

[emforever]

My SO is not too good about doing little things when we are apart. He's great when we are together, though. He gets me cute little presents and always wants to hold me and calls me sweet names. He's bought me a couple rubber duckies and tons of candy. I'm not as good about that :/ He's the way more affectionate one when we are together.

[iamangel]

I've read that article, but I don't think it applies at my relationship, my boyfriend compliments me daily, I just miss having something FROM him FOR me

I shouldn't probably look into this too much, apparently he is not the only guy who doesn't do these things.

Probably you're right. Don't look to much on this...Instead appreciate him and not someone who he can't be....Even my SO is like that.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

I'll admit I feel a little like this at times, but I never brought it up to him. I've learned to accept that he is a guy and I know he doesn't think of these ideas like I do...it's just not who he is. I love him, and I know he loves me, so I don't need gifts and the like to reassure me he loves me. Of course, I'd love more than anything to receive a letter from him. That's all I'd like lol...just something handwritten and personal. When we're together, he almost always pays, he opens doors for me and is extremely affectionate and sweet.

[kiara_silver]

Im lucky in this department, i don't need gifts or anything, but my SO has always remembered the birthdays/anniversaries/holidays. Which makes me feel special. I think for me i just want the time with him, when i don't get alot with him, thats the only time i feel frustrated, but this gets better after he's done with his work or projects. I think i would just be sad if he didn't tell me he loved me daily. Not that i doubt him, but i love hearing that, i love telling him that. That he loves me so much he tells me every time we talk. We have always said we love each other, so when or if he doesn't it feels wrong lol like something wrong.
My SO is not the most talkative, but when he wants he's very romantic, he's written me heart felt love letters. wrote poems, lol i remember we were on and it says he was typing, for awhile he was typing and then when i saw it was so sweet and romantic about how he loves and needs me, just out of the blue. Lol things like this reminds me of how lucky i am and how good he is to me. Course these arn't daily or weekly things. I think sometimes us girls expect to be woo'd everyday, but i think we need to be realistic and appreciate the time our SO's do, do for us.

[princessmeg1328]

I don't think it's necessarily just a men and women are different thing. My SO and I aren't really big on sending each other gifts. It's always nice and he does buy things for me sometimes, but I very rarely buy him anything. Not because I don't want to, but because I lack the resources to do so. Although, he does tell me he loves me everyday and to me that means more than anything he could ever send me.

[Ruby1288]

I have to stop and remind myself of the simple pleasures that come out of our love, like the fact that we get to text and instant message all day long. Of course there are gaps of time, we do run out of things to say as we both have nothing going on in our lives right now , but thinking about this before going to bed and knowing that the next day we will be there for each other to do it all again comforts me and makes me smile.

I have tried to "make" it special when he left to New York by telling him we both need to step it up with cute gifts and stuff but he saw no point to it because in his mind it would just emphasize that we're far apart. To him he's happy just knowing we could talk to each other through skype or text message anytime we want. I had to stop and realize that wedo have different ways of expressing love and experiencing it. The best part is being able to give a gift and not expect one in return because we both have love for each other and its not about the material.

I'm glad to hear everyone else agrees with saying I love you because that is important to me as well. And when he does surprise me with a gift or romantic words it feels more meaningful and it's more of a surprise than expecting it from him 24/7 . ^_^

We should all embrace our love and express it and accept love in return in any form!(except abusive of course)

[eaoreilly]

We're still pretty new to this, but my SO sends me cards, and even sent one of his favourite shirts to me, so that I would have something of his to hug...I've sent cards, letters, and this will sound really weird, but I'm a closet geologist...I sent him two of my favourite pebbles One is so smooth and comforting to hold, and it now lives in his pocket Nothing really big, but both meant a lot to each of us...

[Micah]

I've sent my SO a ton of more things than he has sent me, but I really don't care. He has admitted he's not like that and he does a ton of other things for me. He makes me feel loved every day and goes above and beyond to make me happy.

[uniquefem]

hehe i did the same.. and i dont mind at all... he did big stuff such as calling me (sometimes) and he did chat sometimes too... what i did to him (by sending letters etc) i think its nothing compare to big things he did such paying the flight ticket for me to go to visit him!

We shouldnt really see the amount or the frequency they did those (sending present, call, text, chat) as measurement how much they love us. I think that would be unfair.... as woman more expressive than men... thats how we created i guess

---------- Post added at 11:20 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:20 AM ----------

hehe i did the same.. and i dont mind at all... he did big stuff such as calling me (sometimes) and he did chat sometimes too... what i did to him (by sending letters etc) i think its nothing compare to big things he did such paying the flight ticket for me to go to visit him!

We shouldnt really see the amount or the frequency they did those (sending present, call, text, chat) as measurement how much they love us. I think that would be unfair.... as woman more expressive than men... thats how we created i guess