Am I a terrible person?

[Phimini]

My SO is currently in Thailand for work and his plan was to be there for a year, possibly two now, to get more work experience. It's been hard but I've supported him in his decision as best I can, but now he may come home early, after only 2 weeks abroad. He's been getting sick every morning for the past week and he can't take a year of that every morning, much less two. He's gonna give it another couple days to see if it clears up but it's uncertain at this point.

When he left, I was really hopeful that this trip, no matter how difficult, would benefit him. But now that he's debating returning, I feel guilty. I'm happy at the thought of him coming home but I feel guilty because if he does, I know it's because he's hurting and unhappy. I don't want him to be miserable but... I know if he is, he may come home...

I'm so conflicted about what to feel. Am I terrible for wanting him to come home, knowing it means he's unhappy?

[Micah]

No, I don't think you are terrible for wanting him to come home. I am sure that you want what is best for him, and hope that he is able to pull through being sick. You said it yourself that you wanted his time away to be beneficial to him. At the same time, knowing he might be home definitely would take away the pain of being apart. I think it is normal to feel the way you do.

[lucybelle]

No. Of course not. You want him to come home because you want to be with him. That makes perfect sense. It's a shame the trip didn't work out, but that's how things go.

[Mara]

No, you aren't terrible at all! It's normal to want your SO to come home. I'm sure you do feel a bit bad for him too though since his plans don't seem like they are going the way he wanted them to. I hope everything works out for the best and he starts to feel better sooner or later.

[Sloppy Joe]

I don't think you're a terrible person, but you also have to realize that it's not your fault he's coming home. So there's nothing, all around, to feel guilty about. Besides that, although it would have been good work experience for him, there are always other opportunities for experience, no matter what country you're in. So maybe just talk with him and see what he wants to do and support every plan he wants to make.

Maybe to ease your mind, next time you talk with him, discuss what he wants to do as his next plan of attack if he comes home. Like his "Plan B" for work and work experience. I'm sure he'll feel like you're rooting for him no matter what choices he makes.

[Sano]

>.> I've had far worse thoughts about things happening that would making being with my SO come earlier and more frequently. I like to blame it on my shoulder angels XD

[Tanja]

It's not YOU who's making him come back. He's coming back because he wants to. There's nothing wrong with you being happy to see him again, it's only natural to want to be with him. Just make sure you're supportive in whatever decision he makes.