I need some advice.... now... please?...

[cartoonartist]

I just told my parents about my SO yesterday and the reaction was not good. My parents did not mind me continuing to talk to him, but they advised that if I wanted an actual relationship, this was not worth it.

They talked about the lies, the fact that he could be lying to me, or like could be sleeping with ten girls while I didn't know, and could even be faking how he looked, I wouldn't know.

They talked about how they had relationships like that too (just my dad) and how it didn't turn out well.

They talked about how this isn't a real relationship, just some idiot.

They talked about how I'm wasting my time with someone who will eventually hurt me.

They also talked about how he wasn't good enough for me. My father, (and he likes to say it) is one of the top 10 architects in Malaysia, and Donovan's father is a trucker.

They talked about how I deserved better and such.

And just pumped me full of unhappy stories all night.

I know they care about me, I just wish they gave it a chance?....

Donovan is a sweet, kind man and even though he may not go to the best schools or anything I know he will do whatever it takes to see me happy. He even wanted to travel all the way down here! Just to see me! From Cali to Malaysia! Even if it is for a day! (But my parents didn't want that, they didn't believe it was just for me, and they said just half a day)

So I'm feeling very discouraged now. I just wanted to know, is an LDR possible? This is the first time I ever felt doubtful.

[Junebug]

I am so sorry to hear that about your parents. I will tell you that yes a LDR is possible. There are many people out there that will tell you to not continue this but if the feelings are there then why not go for it. Yes you may get your heart broken down the road but love isn't only full of happiness. There are times of sorrow and hurt as well. Just have faith and trust that he says who he says he is. Also, wanted to let you know that every parent is going to think that the person their child ends up with isn't good enough for them. They just want you to be happy and want the best for you. (Side note: if your young or still live with your parents then yes they do kinda have a say in your life. Just because you are still under their roof. )

[MissShortie]

I feel that I can relate to you, my dad doesn't like my relationship, not that it's LDR but because of who I'm going out with... so he's always making little comments here and there about my relationship. I'm not sure how old you are, but LDR's are possible, very possible, difficult? yes very difficult, you have to have full trust for that person and relay on computers and phones and whatnot to keep it going. I know it's hard but try not to let them discourage you keep your chin up and stay strong.

[cartoonartist]

I'm 16 and have been in this for 9 months and I respect my parents opinions, I really do, I just need some encouragement that an LDR can work... because my parents seem set on the fact it can't.

[MissShortie]

I'm 16 and have been in this for 9 months and I respect my parents opinions, I really do, I just need some encouragement that an LDR can work... because my parents seem set on the fact it can't.

Oh yeah same here, it hurts when my dad pokes at my relationship in a negative way because I love my dad and I want his approval on my relationship. And yeah LDR are very possible, I can't promise you your relationship will make it, not that I think yours won't make it, it's just like I couldn't promise anyone else their's will work out, but LDR they are very much possible!

[knhdarw]

My parents were a lot like your saying dont waste my time and that a LDR isnt real and that u cant have a successful relationship like this. me and my So have been together almost a year i told my parents that they have a right to there opinion just like everyone else but i also have the right and free will to not take there advice. Its been the best decision i ever made. They also say I deserve better blah blah blah because im going to medical or dental school so they expected that i marry or date someone who was doing the same... Also i chose to stay in my relationship without my parents blessing @ all they dont support it so you could be in a lonely road but its worth it if you love your SO dont let anyone get in the way of that... Your parents wont turn there back on you mine didnt they just dont want my SO @ there house and all that LOL... BUt also at the end of the day you have to make the best decision for you no matter what anyone else thinks best of luck!

[kiara_silver]

It is very worth it if its real and the two people in the relationship are fully committed. I got a ton of negativity. He could be completely different, you deserve better, he's cheating,he's just saying what you want to hear, has multiple online relationships. The list is endless. but i stuck through it regardless the criticize from my family. I set my mind and heart on Nathan and sure i could get hurt if things don't work out, but sometimes you have to take risks. And now 2 years being in a LDR he's coming from scotland here to california to be together for the summer! Ah so in my opinion, its so worth it.

[FadedSunrise]

I am also one of those who got a lot of negativity, but I think defying my parents on this(in secret, though, I'm not sure I can do with direct negativity everyday like the rest of you!) was one of the better decisions I have made, because beyond worthwhile to continue growing as people and as a couple with my sweet boy. Originally, we got together in December, but they found out in late January and we had a long argument in which I actually broke up with him for 3 weeks-they told me to either choose him or them, and it about broke my soul and left a deep and still unhealed scar from hearing those words...

Now, with some time distance, I don't regret the choice much at all. In a few years, if/when he comes to choosing to move here to Cali(he is excited at the idea of furthering his education in America, even though he was sick of schooling in China), and we are CD and still together, I will consider breaking it up to the parents again.

[iamangel]

You're parents reaction is normal. They just want the best for you and protect you that's why. Just understand them and listen to them but of course listen to your heart and mind too. trust your instinct... Your heart say if he really true ...If you know it's true. Fight for it! Be happy but cautious.

[13000km]

It can get very difficult. I've been where you are before. But I will tell you it is possible, because my parents started at "he may not be who he says he is", progressed to talking about him, then talking to him via skype, letting me visit him, agreeing to me moving here to be with him, and my family has spent the last two days (more to come!) with us and his family.

Your parents may be concerned about all these things, even more so because you're so young. Give them time. Keep up some name-dropping if you can, and take baby steps from there. Just remember, the happy stories exist too.

---------- Post added at 03:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:19 PM ----------

It can get very difficult. I've been where you are before. But I will tell you it is possible, because my parents started at "he may not be who he says he is", progressed to talking about him, then talking to him via skype, letting me visit him, agreeing to me moving here to be with him, and my family has spent the last two days (more to come!) with us and his family.

Your parents may be concerned about all these things, even more so because you're so young. Give them time. Keep up some name-dropping if you can, and take baby steps from there. Just remember, the happy stories exist too.