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**FadedSunrise** · June 12, 2011, 02:05 AM

Personally, I have nothing against it. Then again, this is my first relationship and he is my first love. I would feel ridiculously stifled if he told me that I couldn't do such and such with male friends(though I do not have many-and the ones that I have many are in relationships themselves). However, if he explained how my actions made him feel, logically and calmly, and also instead politely asked that I tone down interactions as need be, this would be acceptable though still a bother to me. Perhaps if it really bothers you you should tell him in this way.

Through my currently still short relationship, I remember getting jealous once-when he said he was giving two female exchange students private lessons-he's a personal trainer- on his day off, because he had to(but my mind just processed it as two female students, foreign(would they be prettier than me and more fitting as a girlfriend in looks?-although I'm not that fat, there is a big height and size difference of 5-5.5 inches between us)). I gaffawed at the computer the next day when he came online to complain that they were fat, disrespectful, and slow learners.

ETA: As for if it's him doing the dancing...I just have to laugh because I can NEVER imagine him even wanting to dance like that with me. That boy's so the traditional gentleman that there will be no humping on the dance floor.

**Sora1101** · June 12, 2011, 02:05 AM

I think I'm like you, if I knew my SO was dancing with other girls I would feel jealous and hurt, I know it's unreasonable, but the way people dance today is pretty much dry humping sex on the dance floor, I don't think I would mind as much if it was like classical dancing but knowing that he would be grinding up against other girls would drive me insane.

**emforever** · June 12, 2011, 02:12 AM

You can't help how you feel. If it bothers you, you need to tell him.

**kiara_silver** · June 12, 2011, 02:44 AM

lol im the jealous type too. I can't help it, so i try to push it out of my head.lol don't want to imagine, cause in my head i will compare or think the worst. I think that things like this depends, like i think its fine for your SO to go out and have a good time with friends, but im a lil iffy on dancing and such with others now based on past situation i went through. I think if he's dancing with strangers that i would bring it up to him and let him know how u feel. But friends and people who know him and no he's in a relationship i would say you should just trust him and not let it get to you. Its hard not to get jealous, i so get this, lol im guilty of this. But at the same time it comes down to trust and you have to just trust ur SO.

**NaNi** · June 12, 2011, 02:58 AM

Stuff like that bothers me as well, so I told my SO that I don't want her dancing around with some girl/guy while going out. She thinks the same way though. No problems there.

**Lunar Snow** · June 12, 2011, 03:35 AM

If it's dancing around all spazzy in a group of friends, okay, that's a whatever (there's nothing really sexy about that and it is more just fun and silly). I agree, though, that the way people dance at clubs these days is a "vertical expression of a horizontal wish" without all the class of ballroom dancing. Personally, if someone is in a committed, exclusive relationship, then they shouldn't be grinding up against or letting someone grind up against them, other than their SO.

For me, I wouldn't be okay with my SO dancing with other girls at clubs or parties and I wouldn't expect him to be okay with me doing that either.

Different strokes for different couples, though. However, I think the key is that though you can see his point of view, it still makes you uncomfortable and causes unnecessary jealousy/ worry for you. You should be able to bring it up with your SO and tell him how and why it makes you feel uncomfortable, without him being affronted or reproachful (and, hopefully, with him being able to make some sort of compromise)--it's not unreasonable. After all, if he has you to enjoy, why should he need "innocent" pursuits of dancing with other girls, especially after you have told him how it makes you feel?

**blankita719** · June 12, 2011, 08:50 AM

My SO & I are not really overly jealous, so this is not a problem for us. Plus he is not the kind of guy who likes to go out a lot much less dance. However, he understands that on occasion I like to go out and dance and let off some steam, so he doesn't have any problems with me dancing with some one else. It's just dancing. And I would never cross the line into anything else with some one I am just dancing with. It's really about respect. If it is truly a problem for you, then let him know how you feel

**kteire** · June 12, 2011, 09:37 AM

Originally posted by Lunar Snow View Post

After all, if he has you to enjoy, why should he need "innocent" pursuits of dancing with other girls, especially after you have told him how it makes you feel?

Agreed, and well said!

I kind of figure I'd rather Loic and I not do anything when we're out at night that we wouldn't do if we were out together. If he's dancing with anyone else, it's gonna be silly spinning his female friends and the like, something I've seen him (and laughed at him!!) doing many times. I'm not a jealous person, but I wouldn't get why he'd ever feel the need to grind with someone else.

So I agree with what's been said - tell him it makes you uncomfortable. Regardless of how you try to rationalise it, you can't always make jealousy go away that way. The best way is to talk about it, and hopefully reach an agreement that will make you feel less jealous!

**Alexandria Lora** · June 12, 2011, 10:03 AM

Everyone is right. Tell him, let him know how you feel. Sometimes we all need a little support from our SO's. He loves and cares about you. I am sure he will understand.

**JEREIANEDREI** · June 12, 2011, 10:14 AM

Originally posted by oukeying View Post

My SO believes that it's perfectly innocent and acceptable for a guy(/girl) to dance with other girls(/guys) at parties while being in a committed relationship. But when I think of him dancing with other girls, I feel jealous. Although jealousy is a natural human emotion which I don't think I can control, I feel like I am being completely unreasonable by being jealous, because I do understand his perspective. I guess I'm just looking for other people's feelings about the subject. :/

im one of you....i feel you....same here,..though I trust my man...still I cant help but get jealous..augh...can't imagine he is dncing with anybody else's....anyways trust,love and respect...Pray hard it works...God will give u guidance..Good luck

**JEREIANEDREI** · June 12, 2011, 10:14 AM

Originally posted by oukeying View Post

My SO believes that it's perfectly innocent and acceptable for a guy(/girl) to dance with other girls(/guys) at parties while being in a committed relationship. But when I think of him dancing with other girls, I feel jealous. Although jealousy is a natural human emotion which I don't think I can control, I feel like I am being completely unreasonable by being jealous, because I do understand his perspective. I guess I'm just looking for other people's feelings about the subject. :/

im one of you....i feel you....same here,..though I trust my man...still I cant help but get jealous..augh...can't imagine he is dncing with anybody else's....anyways trust,love and respect...Pray hard it works...God will give u guidance..Good luck

**Rugger** · June 12, 2011, 10:42 AM

I would NOT be okay with my SO going out to a bar or club and dance with some other girl. To me, that's disrespectful. If I go out to clubs to dance, I dance with y girlfriends and if any boy tried to touch me, I let him know that's not okay ( either by telling him or if it's his second strike, with my fist).

You need to talk to him and tell him how it makes you feel

**wstcstflgrl** · June 12, 2011, 11:12 AM

Reading the "dancing around all spazzy" line made me lol, thats how the SO dances, Bless his heart. Dancing with a group of people or by ourself is fine. But If there is bumping and grinding on the dance floor, then I feel for myself thats crossing the line. my relationship is new, so we r still getting to know each other and building trust.. but down the road who knows...... def talk to him bout it.

**traditionalgirl75** · June 12, 2011, 11:25 AM

I'm with everyone else here, if he's out dancing with other girls & u don't like it then you need to tell him. I wouldn't be able to handle that either. If he's in a committed relationship w/ you, then why is he out dancing w/ other girls? My SO & I don't go out to bars & other parties b/c we feel it causes un-necessary issues. I mean we go out to family events & stuff, just not out partying @ bars. We trust each other 110 % but there's no need un-necessary issues & I honestly think that the bar social scene can lead to problems. now, if I wanted to go out, I go out & my SO would never discourage me from going & I wouldn't w/ him either but being in a LDR it could cause prob. if we were under the same roof & knowing we were going home to our SO then it would be different.

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