I was suppose to be going to see my bf for the first time in August and he pretty much cancelled on me ... again. Im pretty sure we've done this like 6 times already. He usually agrees to a date then waits til maybe a few weeks before and then comes up with some reason why he cant or why it would be better to wait. And for some reason I keep believing him and I'll get excited looking forward to it but I know better and then I'll just get knocked down ... hard all over again.
I pretty much figured it wasn't goinig to happen this time too because I would ask him for a date to book my tickets and he'd stall or change the subject so I pretty much stopped asking. I was under the impression we were doing pretty well together. We haven't fought or anything in a long time. I know they we haven't been talking nearly as much as I'd like to but we have been texting. (and I've whined it about a few times)
I've been having a hard time with work and school lately, I think Im actually a little depressed but he's been kind of like my counter balance even when we just text. So he's been asking me why not just move down there and live with him, let him take care of me and all that stuff but Im the kind of person that worries about if he can actually handle it all on his own because I know I'll be out of a job and I hate being dependent on anyone really.
But lately I've been feeling like a fresh start might be nice for me. So he asked me when I was coming so I asked him when he would want me to and he said september so he'd have a little room to adjust. I thought it was still too soon really. But I asked did that mean no visit in august then? And he said no he didnt think it was good idea before but he's just now telling me. He told me before that first week would be bad because his mom's birthday and she passed a little while ago so I understood but now he said his dad would be upset about it any time during august. But all the times before, he uses his dad as an excuse and I just dont know what to think about. I pretty much got really depressed and I dont cry often but I did cry and we were texting and he gets worried when I dont text him right back when he thinks I could be upset. I just dont know what do do about it. It just hurts alot that he keeps pushing it back ....
It was really just too much for me yesterday. I couldn't concentrate in class because I was so stressed and then I got more stressed because I couldn't get my math assignments right.
I pretty much figured it wasn't goinig to happen this time too because I would ask him for a date to book my tickets and he'd stall or change the subject so I pretty much stopped asking. I was under the impression we were doing pretty well together. We haven't fought or anything in a long time. I know they we haven't been talking nearly as much as I'd like to but we have been texting. (and I've whined it about a few times)
I've been having a hard time with work and school lately, I think Im actually a little depressed but he's been kind of like my counter balance even when we just text. So he's been asking me why not just move down there and live with him, let him take care of me and all that stuff but Im the kind of person that worries about if he can actually handle it all on his own because I know I'll be out of a job and I hate being dependent on anyone really.
But lately I've been feeling like a fresh start might be nice for me. So he asked me when I was coming so I asked him when he would want me to and he said september so he'd have a little room to adjust. I thought it was still too soon really. But I asked did that mean no visit in august then? And he said no he didnt think it was good idea before but he's just now telling me. He told me before that first week would be bad because his mom's birthday and she passed a little while ago so I understood but now he said his dad would be upset about it any time during august. But all the times before, he uses his dad as an excuse and I just dont know what to think about. I pretty much got really depressed and I dont cry often but I did cry and we were texting and he gets worried when I dont text him right back when he thinks I could be upset. I just dont know what do do about it. It just hurts alot that he keeps pushing it back ....
It was really just too much for me yesterday. I couldn't concentrate in class because I was so stressed and then I got more stressed because I couldn't get my math assignments right.
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