After visiting him and Everything went slowmotion?

[uniquefem]

I just notice, after visiting him.. lots of thing change. I don't feel the "urge" of contacting him while back then i got all crazy if i am not writing him or at least leave offline msg. I feel like.."calm" its little bit surprise me hehe i thought i would be more needy after 2nd time seeing him.

Also, when my friend ask me if i had the fear he will cheat, i said with no hesitation i trust him. We spent 10 days together in total, almost always be together 24/7.

1. Is this a normal phase? i mean i see someone writing about LDR phase, i just want to know if this is a bad thing or not? I dont feel bad, i feel relax and somehow SURE about him, and this is... for me a little bit scary hahah!

I just dont want to get carried away on something that actually bad---like getting used not to communicate with him, and suddenly all gone.

We promise to meet again before December, he will come to Indonesia (my town, Bali and Lombok perhaps ). Also....

2. is it ok if i talk about the future of relation already after 2nd time we met? i talk about this a little bit sometimes when i visit him, asking him if he want to have his own family (he said yes!!) and if he want children etc (he said can we have 6? and laugh---hes crazy sometimes hahah). Or i should really talk about this when he went to Indonesia?

In indonesia, that will be meet with my family for sure. But i am not so sure what he want as we had different culture and beliefs.... not sure how to brought this up!


Thanks for the comment tho... i am really not so sure if i wrote this clear tho haha

[Rosebud]

Hmm, well how long has it been since you've returned from your visit? I've noticed my emotions are always a little different after a visit with my boyfriend and I'm pretty sure that's a normal reaction that a lot of people experience, although we may not all handle it the same way or feel the same things. But anyway, I don't see how feeling more trusting in your SO and imagining a future with him is in any way a bad thing Yes, it's good to be careful, but no reason to be so worried about feeling comfortable in your relationship!

[uniquefem]

Hmm, well how long has it been since you've returned from your visit? I've noticed my emotions are always a little different after a visit with my boyfriend and I'm pretty sure that's a normal reaction that a lot of people experience, although we may not all handle it the same way or feel the same things. But anyway, I don't see how feeling more trusting in your SO and imagining a future with him is in any way a bad thing Yes, it's good to be careful, but no reason to be so worried about feeling comfortable in your relationship!

Last time i saw him on June 3rd 2011. So its two weeks ago.

I don't know.. its just weird because one day i realize that im not even thinking of leaving offline msg and the next morning because someone asks about my Europe trip then i send him offline to tell him about it. The calm, and "accepting" things just the way it is kind of... bothering me.. whats change?

I don't understand... is this because we spent more days together that i know he wont hurt me? is it because i love him even more? is it because i know him and his daily life after those 10 days and i didn't see any threatening thing for our relationship?? or........... on the contrary i just don't care? (cant be tho).

He say that i need to worry because he always love me, thats the last thing he said at airport...well also the thing that made me stop crying, because i see his eye really meant it.

I was hurt lots of time before, and its not easy for me to learn to trust... and when this is happens... when everything "too smooth" i just.. haha a bit scared

I sound like a confuse girl now, but i am... why i react like this? why no urge like before? is it really that normal?

[13000km]

I don't know what's considered "normal" behaviour after a visit. I only had one visit and my neediness increased about 100 times after the visit, so I can't comment on that.

As for talking about the future, it depends on where your relationship is right now. Cultural differences are definitely something that needs to be discussed before meeting the family, and if you feel like you guys are at that level of commitment, then why not talk about it. Even if you're not talking about it in detail, I think it's good to get a general sense of what things each of you want in life, what are some of the values and morals you stand by and other opinions that are important to you.

Every relationship will move at it's own pace. I did things a little differently with my boyfriend. Met only once in real life and closed the distance after just 1.5 years. Don't overthink it; let the conversation come when it does so it's not forced. Same with everything else, let your relationship grow at whatever pace the both of you are comfortable with. (:

Btw, I was in Lombok recently and I must say it is a BEAUTIFUL place. I went diving and wow, it was so amazing. Bali's pretty too, but a bit too touristy for my taste.

---------- Post added at 12:08 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:08 AM ----------

I don't know what's considered "normal" behaviour after a visit. I only had one visit and my neediness increased about 100 times after the visit, so I can't comment on that.

As for talking about the future, it depends on where your relationship is right now. Cultural differences are definitely something that needs to be discussed before meeting the family, and if you feel like you guys are at that level of commitment, then why not talk about it. Even if you're not talking about it in detail, I think it's good to get a general sense of what things each of you want in life, what are some of the values and morals you stand by and other opinions that are important to you.

Every relationship will move at it's own pace. I did things a little differently with my boyfriend. Met only once in real life and closed the distance after just 1.5 years. Don't overthink it; let the conversation come when it does so it's not forced. Same with everything else, let your relationship grow at whatever pace the both of you are comfortable with. (:

Btw, I was in Lombok recently and I must say it is a BEAUTIFUL place. I went diving and wow, it was so amazing. Bali's pretty too, but a bit too touristy for my taste.

[NaNi]

Of course you can talk about your future with him! My SO and I do the same thing. We had two visits so far and we constantly talk about how we want to close the distance and how we would like to get married one day. We even talk about silly little things like how many cars we would like to have or how we need a spa pool and such!

[uniquefem]

I don't know what's considered "normal" behaviour after a visit. I only had one visit and my neediness increased about 100 times after the visit, so I can't comment on that.

As for talking about the future, it depends on where your relationship is right now. Cultural differences are definitely something that needs to be discussed before meeting the family, and if you feel like you guys are at that level of commitment, then why not talk about it. Even if you're not talking about it in detail, I think it's good to get a general sense of what things each of you want in life, what are some of the values and morals you stand by and other opinions that are important to you.

Every relationship will move at it's own pace. I did things a little differently with my boyfriend. Met only once in real life and closed the distance after just 1.5 years. Don't overthink it; let the conversation come when it does so it's not forced. Same with everything else, let your relationship grow at whatever pace the both of you are comfortable with. (:

Btw, I was in Lombok recently and I must say it is a BEAUTIFUL place. I went diving and wow, it was so amazing. Bali's pretty too, but a bit too touristy for my taste.

---------- Post added at 12:08 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:08 AM ----------


I don't know what's considered "normal" behaviour after a visit. I only had one visit and my neediness increased about 100 times after the visit, so I can't comment on that.

As for talking about the future, it depends on where your relationship is right now. Cultural differences are definitely something that needs to be discussed before meeting the family, and if you feel like you guys are at that level of commitment, then why not talk about it. Even if you're not talking about it in detail, I think it's good to get a general sense of what things each of you want in life, what are some of the values and morals you stand by and other opinions that are important to you.

Every relationship will move at it's own pace. I did things a little differently with my boyfriend. Met only once in real life and closed the distance after just 1.5 years. Don't overthink it; let the conversation come when it does so it's not forced. Same with everything else, let your relationship grow at whatever pace the both of you are comfortable with. (:

Btw, I was in Lombok recently and I must say it is a BEAUTIFUL place. I went diving and wow, it was so amazing. Bali's pretty too, but a bit too touristy for my taste.

Well.. i thought i would be more needy too!! when first met we fall in love in less than a week! and two weeks ago i spent 10 days with him and more intense because i always be with him! thats why i just afraid i messed up on this one... i do love him so very much, so when i just sense something different, i just dont want to "sabotage" my relationship when everything went smooth!

I thought i will get all crazy with the phone calls and letters, mails or sms... but no.. i just smile when think about him and i know we will meet again as he said.

Yeah.. i think we both on "slower" pace.. even this is the 2nd time we met. I think we both try to be on safe side not to talk thing that quite sensitive... like moving out, its a big thing.. and i am not really sure when is the right time to talk about it...

Yeah, i went to Bali once not really enjoy it, went there in 2008. Feel more like Australia than Kuta when i went there hahaha...so many Ozzies there but Lombok yesss... i want to take him to visit the turtle farm there!

But first went to Sumatra jungle, so he will know who i am (the jungle girl of course!!)

I just wish he could come before he move back to Moscow, Russia (this is also the thing that we once talk about!)[COLOR="Silver"]

[CloseToMyHeart]

I'm "hoping" it's normal, because this is my second visit with my SO, and I don't feel the urge to contact him as much as the first time, and if someone was to ask me if I trust him, I wouldn't think twice to say yes.

[uniquefem]

I'm "hoping" it's normal, because this is my second visit with my SO, and I don't feel the urge to contact him as much as the first time, and if someone was to ask me if I trust him, I wouldn't think twice to say yes.

heheh.. yeah i guess its different with everyone..

Last night i think, maybe i wasn't needy because i could become needy when i feel insecure, like sms him where he was and with whom and he didnt reply or when i didnt see his mail or offline msg i will had the thought he was cheating or something wrong happens.

But when i was with him, i ....dont think i could see any of my scary thought----eg, hidden gf, list of ex gf's, or if he had any skulls in the closet.. nope.. everything just fine there for i feel relax...

maybe just because of that? hahaha i dont know... i hope its just ok not to be as needy as before! (before i will always contact him in any way) but after visit... its just different!