I swear, if his ex girlfriend gets in the way I WILL go postal.

[Crimson_Petal]

So, some of you may have read that my SO Jorge and I were having some lack of contact issues. From his side. Well, in an email the other day he said that he was having some problems with his ex girlfriend again. I don't think they're actually in contact anymore so I'm left to assume that the issue is he still has feelings for her and the more serious we get he thinks about stuff with her. Maybe it's just that he's worried about being hurt in that way again. But I don't know and it's really getting on my nerves.
Any advice. I really don't want to be the crazy paranoid girlfriend and I can rapidly see that is what I'm becoming ...Help!

[Mara]

I don't think you are being crazy or paranoid. He's the one that brought up his ex-girlfriend, would it be possible to ask him for some clarification about what exactly he means about 'problems with his ex-girlfriend'? Assuming is only going to make you angry and make you think the worse. One way or another it's better to know exactly what he means and then to cross that bridge when you come to it.

[Crimson_Petal]

I just don't know what to do. He said that he needed some time to think about things, and I'm giving him that. But every day I'm just turning more and more in to a basket case. I can't bare the thought of him going back with her because she's right there and thus it would be simpler. I just worry that I've already invested so much and now I'm really susceptible to getting hurt again.

[Mara]

I hope you hear from him soon.

[uniquefem]

Thats sucks... i will ask him details about the problem. But then try to to show your anger or upset tone, just try to sound as the ex gf as like other girls. The thing is, he did tell you about it, and not keeping secret about the thing and you have to appreciate that he still try to be open with u.

If he keep it (contacting the ex) as secret...well thats a real problem!

[Crimson_Petal]

I know, I should be relieved that he's not hiding his reasons for needing time to think. I just guess that patience is one of the skills I'll really need to develop if this relationship has any chance of working. It's especially annoying at present because my family's moving in 2 weeks so whereas before I could get out of the house more and get out of my head, now I'm stuck in doors getting everything ready for the move. I know that he will come to me when he's ready to talk, just am not very good at stopping myself going insane in that time frame.

[Tanja]

You need to ask him about this. It's clearly bothering you a lot so don't think you have no right to ask him or that you're being paranoid. But not asking him and creating scenarios in your head WILL make you even more paranoid and at the end of the day you might be convinced he's fooling around with someone else when he hasn't done anything at all. And that could be an awkward conversation