Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Already doubting his commitment; am I jumping to conclusions?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Already doubting his commitment; am I jumping to conclusions?

    Ugh. This is just pathetic. We just started our LDR not too long ago and I'm already anticipating him pulling out of this. Initially I was shocked that he even wanted to try an LDR because he just doesn't seem like the type who can handle it. I mean in the past his LDRs failed because there weren't enough mutual visits. So I'm really feeling doubtful for the past few days. What made it worse was our phone conversation last night. I moved away because I was assigned to a different city for my job internship, which will last a few years. On the phone he asked me what my plans were after my internship like where I'll go and what I'll be doing. WTF? Okay, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions but that really pissed me off. The way he asked it made it seem like what I'll be doing will be completely independent from him. It just made it seem like he has no plans on ending the distance.

    Like I said, maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe it was just an innocent question about my career goals. I don't know... I don't want to push him away with my insecurities but if he's planning on jumping ship, then I would like to know ASAP.

    Any advice?

    #2
    Maybe he asked that so he'd have an idea about whether or not your plans for the future matched or if he'd have to move to you for the two of you to close the distance? I asked my SO the same question a few months ago about what were his career plans for the future because ultimately it will have to be me that moves. Even though it's a while away I'm sure your SO was just trying to get an idea of what were you plans.

    Comment


      #3
      When my SO and I first started doing LD (unofficially, lol), neither of us was very comfortable about talking about long-term plans. It was just a lot to process at the time, and both he and I would ask each other about where we saw ourselves separately in a few years' time. And after a while, we started getting more specific, and more comfortable about making solid plans. So maybe if your SO has had several failed LDRs in the past, he could just be trying to feel out where this could be going. Like if you'll both be in a place that you could close the distance, and would be willing to do so.


      Love will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free

      Met: Cork, Ireland - December 31, 2009 • Started Dating: Cork, Ireland - May 22, 2010 • Became LD: July 15, 2010 • My Move From Canada to UK: October 26, 2011
      Closed the distance June 18, 2012!

      Comment

      Working...
      X