Time to say goodbye to my SO???? HELP!!

[CloseToMyHeart]

First off I'm really sad right now, so I was hoping turning to my new found "friends" might help. Here's what's going on. My SO was here last week and we spent almost the whole week together. Only twice did we have small arguments and the last one was alcohol induced I think more than anything. But during the last argument he told me he was only angry with me because he "cares for me" (he's never said anything like that before). After that we went on with our night, and were together the next day until I had to leave for school. When we got ready to leave to my surprise I was really upset and crying. He told me he would miss me and next time we would need to have even more time together.

So that evening things were pretty normal, he got home at 2am, and text me that he was back home safely. But that's when everything changed... the next day (tuesday) only 2 texts, ..Wednesday text to say "sorry I hibernated yesterday", and then nothing. Told him I was getting concerned already and he replied "Just busy and tired" (excuse for not calling or texting). Said he would call last night, and nothing. Today i go the "sorry ... we won our hockey game and all went to the bar for awhile" (excuse for not calling). This morning I got my daily good morning but that was it until I text him.... then I got another "I'll call you when I'm done work today" .... guess what... nothing....

I don't know what happened since he got home, but he has pulled so far away from me (thought maybe he got spooked that he really cared about me, and his wall was coming down some)..... but now I'm just thinking I am getting the limited silence treatment.

I maybe jumped the gun and sent him a text telling him not to worry about calling me tonight, and that I felt he pulled away from me when he got home, and explained I have no idea what happened.... but I am really upset and dont know what to do since talking isn't an option.

Thought???

[Sierra]

It sounds to me that he's depressed about you trip ending and needs a little space to sort out his feelings.

[Petals]

Hi,

Is his behavior abnormal after a visit? I ask because people deal with the post visit feelings differently. Some people crave attention/communication while some people need space to readjust. Maybe he's just a bit busy. Give him some room and see if his behavior improves over the next week or so. Whatever you do, don't make a big fuss right now. Find activities to occupy your time- friends, hobbies etc.

[bluishskin]

Is his behavior abnormal after a visit? I ask because people deal with the post visit feelings differently. Some people crave attention/communication while some people need space to readjust. Maybe he's just a bit busy. Give him some room and see if his behavior improves over the next week or so. Whatever you do, don't make a big fuss right now. Find activities to occupy your time- friends, hobbies etc.

I agree with this. Just give him (and yourself) some more time and space after the parting and see what will happen. Sometimes when my SO is really busy he doesn't text nor call me the whole day. I just try to understand because with LDR it can be hard to actually see what's happening. Try to just let it flow for at least a week and see what will happen after that. If he keeps doing that after a week, then I think it's time for you to ask him what has happened and sort it out. Hopefully things are ok but I would remind you not to expect too much.

[Alexandria Lora]

Yes, give your SO some time. It literally took us a couple of months after the visit to truly get over "being together" and returning back to "being apart". As weird as it sounds, sometimes detachment is the simplest way to ease that pain of not being together, to deal with the pain of missing one another. A defense mechanism to deal with the separation is normal and bouncing back to how you were before the visit takes some time. I can understand how hard it is to wait and be patient without hearing his feelings and he isn't talking to let you know how he feels, but giving him space is best.

Give him some time ...and give yourself some time too...

[CloseToMyHeart]

Thank you all for the replies, unfortunately, I think its over, I did not hear from him at all last night, and he told me when something is over he stops talking to the person. This is the first time EVER he has been like this and while I could make excuses for him (busy, tired, etc), I think its more of a reality.

Thank you all again!

[Petals]

Thank you all for the replies, unfortunately, I think its over, I did not hear from him at all last night, and he told me when something is over he stops talking to the person. This is the first time EVER he has been like this and while I could make excuses for him (busy, tired, etc), I think its more of a reality.

Thank you all again!

Aww, big hugs to you (()) I really hope that he wouldn't be so immature and insensitive as to use the silent treatment as a way to end the relationship. A phonecall is the least he could do.

It must be difficult to remain positive, but try not to think the worst just yet. Give him a call (not a text) after the weekend if he doesn't call so you can be clear on what's happening.

Get busy and be good to yourself.