I'm All Out of Ideas. Please Help!!!!

[jlb14]

Usually I would try to deal with things internally but I'm reaching out for help. I really do need it.

I was wondering does anyone else get really depressed on the weekends? For the past year that aren't visiting my SO weekends I find myself really depressed. Depressed where I feel like constantly crying. I'm at that point right now. During the week I have work which keeps my busy but I have learned to dread weekends.

Since i've moved home a lot of my childhood friends have moved out or have families. I stay in a lot. My boyfriend is the exact opposite. He has a good group of friends (after three years they are my friends too) he has had for a long time and has plans every weekend (and I mean every weekend). The past two weekends he has gone camping. I was supposed to go camping this weekend with him but plans changed. We almost broke up earlier today so I know emotions are running high. I had actually planned on packing a bag in case he invites me but I forgot it.

Now we decided I won't go so we can have some space but my friends all have plans and so does my family so I'm all alone this weekend. I'm on the verge of tears thinking like that. It bothers me he gets to go out this weekend.

I wish I was happy having a weekend free. I wish I was happy doing my own thing but I have tried everything short of a paying to see a therapist. I have tried doing self help books, keeping a journal, talking to him, talking to other friends. Nothing seems to help but being with him. With another year of long distance ahead I need this problem figured out fast. I feel like I've tried everything the past weekends.

That's why I am asking for help. I'm so desperate.

I just texted him seeing if I could come down but he says he needs some space. So he gets to go out with his friends camping and i'm sitting alone at home thinking too much. It doesn't help there is nothing good on TV...I am still hoping he changes his mind but I know it won't help the problem long term.

[Mara]

I think you've become a little too wrapped up in your relationship. It happens to all of us I think at some point, but you have to have your own life [especially with being long distance] and learn to be happy and content by yourself. Do you have any hobbies or interests you could partake in on the weekends? Any projects you could start that you've been meaning to do, but haven't had time?

[jlb14]

I think you are right and I appreciate your post. I am having a hard time working on figuring out who I am. I would ask for suggestions but of course this is a personal process.

Since I've posted that post I have calmed down a little. (okay a lot!) I actually found a friend to do something with tonight and figured out what to do this weekend. It may sound silly but his belief is living life in the early 20's (we aren't married and have no kids) as crazy as possible. I try to push myself to be like that when I don't have the opportunities to. This is the absolute ridiculous part but I try to keep up with him so I can seem cool and can have crazy stories to tell our children. He doesn't put that pressure on me but I put it on myself. And I think that's why not going really bothered me. I hope I wrote this in a way that can be understood even if the ideas are off.

I really do appreciate all advice!

[Mara]

Maybe living "crazy" isn't really your thing. I went through this period of about a year where I went out all the time drinking and partying, but after that, I was just like okay..I'm over this and this is not who I am. I would much rather curl up with a good book or a cup of coffee or meet my girlfriends for lunch. I think finding out who you are is all about embracing yourself and your the things that you like to do or would like to do. I'm glad to hear you've calmed down some already!

[books]

I can understand where you're coming from. I wouldn't say I dread the weekend, since it does give me a time to de-stress from the weekly grind, but sometimes boredom can hit. The time during the week does pass by fairly quickly due to work, so weekends can tend to be a big open space of time. I stay in a lot too due to money and also b/c many of my friends (who I've had for awhile) are still into the partying scene and I am definitely not. And these are people who are in their late 20's/early 30's (so it's not just an early 20's belief). I did the going out thing when I was younger and I'm really over it. I try to use my weekends just to relax (netflix, naps), do something I enjoy (trips to the library/bookstore) or productive (job searching).

[uniquefem]

Well if its not you then try to find who you are! maybe its a good thing to do while youre away from your so. Maybe youre the type of girl who like to curl up with good books on weekend. Or maybe try to bake something every weekend? i did try those hahah i made like cupcakes, brownies, etc. Just to keep my self busy. Books, i love those, and i could get lost easily in it. Also i like swimming while im on my days off.... there are plenty thing to do by your own and loads things to explore. Maybe you could do traveling solo to your neighbor town, just to explore. Who knows you will find something interesting, also road is the best place to grow up and get life experience, as you will never know where the road will leads you and you will never know who you will met (as long as its not a cute psychopath!!)

[jlb14]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I really appreciate having a place to find support, even if it is helping when i'm freaking out.

[BabyKirsty]

I'm the same way though so you are not alone. I'm think my boyfriend has just accepted my craziness :P Thankfully he USUALLY lets me smuther him to death with love :3 But I know let me be helpful...I'm still trying to find myself too if and a day goes by where I can't talk to him I get really really lonely and upset just try and stay distracted while he is away.