Who's wrong, her or me or maybe both of us?

[AsianRawr!]

I want to know what you guys and girls think about this situation and what advice you could give me on what to do now.

Alright, so today I was waiting for my SO to get out of college which was at 7 PM my time and I noticed that she never called me after half past 7 and so I called her quite excessively, which I shall admit to was about 10 times in a row, but got no answer each and every time. It was not until about an hour and half later that she tells me "I'm still at school" and didn't tell me why exactly so I assumed that she was going to get out soon after. I waited for another hour with no call still and so I did my excessive calling again but got no answer again.

So, yet again I was waiting for an hour or two so I decided to play some video games with me but then, this is where it gets good, around 11:30 while I was still playing video games with my friends, she finally calls and tells me that she is out of the school and never told me why she was still at the school and so I said "okay" and went back to playing video games with my friends, half an hour later I'm done and look at the phone thinking that she is still on but nope, she hung up on me when I was playing video games for half an hour.

I ended up calling her a jerk , which I actually regret now, and she texts me back saying "I was talking to you but you didn't answer me back I ask you why your eyes hurt and u kept talking to your friends", so I did my excessive calling yet again but she ignored it and told me "I'm washing dishes". That is how is it is right now as it just happened.

What do you girls and guys think about this situation? I just personally think that if I had to wait for over 3+ hours that she could of waited for 30 minutes but nope she hangs up on on me for being gone for that long. I shall also say that you can be brutally honest on this subject as that is what I want.

[Darth_Taco]

Um...I have no idea how to put this nicely. You said brutally honest though. You're an idiot. She's at school and classes can run late, of course she can't pick up the damn phone. You, on the other hand, can put down the video game controller and talk to her or at least tell her she caught you at a bad time and that you'll call her back. The fact that she called you back after spamming her phone for over 3 hours shows the amount of patience she has with you. She's still human though, and she has her limits. Of course she's going to get pissed if you ignore her for half an hour for something that can be put on pause. Don't call her anymore, wait for her to call back. When she does, apologize. Unless you're at school, work, the hospital or the bathroom, drop whatever you're doing and apologize to her.

[BabyKirsty]

Yeah....sorta agree with Darth Taco. I mean shit happens. And I think you made her wait just to spite her. Which isn't nice at all D:

[leonsfangirl]

Um...I have no idea how to put this nicely. You said brutally honest though. You're an idiot. She's at school and classes can run late, of course she can't pick up the damn phone. You, on the other hand, can put down the video game controller and talk to her or at least tell her she caught you at a bad time and that you'll call her back. The fact that she called you back after spamming her phone for over 3 hours shows the amount of patience she has with you. She's still human though, and she has her limits. Of course she's going to get pissed if you ignore her for half an hour for something that can be put on pause. Don't call her anymore, wait for her to call back. When she does, apologize. Unless you're at school, work, the hospital or the bathroom, drop whatever you're doing and apologize to her.

Exactly that!!!

[NaNi]

What Darth_Taco said.

[bluishskin]

I agree with Darth Taco. Getting excessive calls on a time like that and being called a jerk is not a positive attitude. Sorry to say this but I think you are being too clingy as well.

[kteire]

Yeah, ignoring her when she didn't call you because she was at school is just a jerk move. Did even you ask her why she was at school so late??
I think the fact that you're concentrating on who's wrong is a tip off that you need to learn a lot about relationships. You freaked out because she wasn't online, from the sounds of it didn't give her a chance to explain herself, called her incessantly, ignored her and called her names. And now you're looking for people to tell you that she was in the wrong, not you.
You need to back off and when she's ready to talk to you, apologise profusely and admit you were the jerk.
Why are you so angry about her being at school late anyways?!

[folclor]

okay... I totally understand you thinking she would be home at a certain time and the first time kind of wondering why she didn't pick up. A long time ago I would've done the same thing the first time. However, if you know she's still at school you should wait for her. Most likely she had a class run late or a project she had to do. Did you ask her why she was at school late? She probably would've been glad to tell you. Most likely she was stressed about it. When she called back, I agree with Darth, you should've put down your video games and talked to her. She was actually trying to talk even though you probably annoyed her with how much you spammed her phone earlier and when she did talk you acted like she didn't matter and blew her off for a video game. My boyfriend's a gamer and I understand gaming with your friends but... there is a point where if you've been the one trying to get a hold of her it's only right that you talk to her when she calls back. She had every right to be annoyed and angry with you. I agree, again, with Darth about waiting for her and apologizing.

[littleone]

You need to say sorry for what you did. if you want to know why school ran late ask her. learn excessive calling get's you no where.

[AsianRawr!]

I've read all of these comments and I must say, I really don't quite understand bits and pieces of them. I do understand that I was a jerk for spamming and all that jazz but what I don't quite understand is why I'm like this time at times, I mean I get quite frustrated and sometimes depressed when it comes to her. I've been in this LDR for already a year and a half yet I still do jerk things like this but don't quite understand why I still continue to do this. I really appreciate the brute honesty for this though and I am assuming that I should not call her until she calls me as taco said even if it takes a few days or a week, right? I'm just asking this because she usually excepts me to call her otherwise she won't do anything most of time. It was just this instance that I forgot to call her and assumed she would call me, but then I did probably one of the dumbest things which was this situation.

[folclor]

Perhaps you should talk to her about what times to call. That part should be between y'all. THere's no magical formula for how much a couple should or should not talk. At the beginning of my relationship with my boyfriend, for instance, we talked every night for hours and we did this for about the first three months, then he started hanging out with his friends more and it was a little hard for me at times, now we have a date night and otherwise talk whenever we want to during the week, if we don't talk it's not supposed to be that big of a deal. Other couples talk every night no matter what. Some people have been in relationships 2 years or longer and they text all day. It's really up to you.

However, it sounds like you need to look inward on why you do this. Are you insecure about something? do you fear her leaving you? Do you trust her? Are you holding a grudge for something that she did in the past? Are you holding a grudge from a past relationship? You need to figure this stuff out so that you can move forward with your life and your relationship.

[BabyKirsty]

Its not even so much about the calling cuz I spam my boyfriends phone all the time :P Its more about ok you finally found her and become a douche bag.

[Yaaamiii]

gonna have to go with what darth taco said it sounds more that you did it to get back at her for making you wait that long

[adielovesshelbs]

i think you should cut out the excessive calling thing, that can seem like you dont trust her. there are times when my so doesnt answer and i get frustrated but people cant always answer the phone. i think that there is communication issues on both sides.