Sleeping while on the Phone!

[knhdarw]

Ok so me and my Bf text all day and he calls me everyday on his lunch break. I know were luckier then some couples on this forum so far and i apologize if you guys think i'm being selfish.... But he also will call me sometimes 1 or 2 more times in a day, On his way home from work or when he get home just to say hi and its nice we talk for a bit and then we go do our own thing. But here is my question on our last phone call every night NO matter what time of night it is he always falls asleep on me like tonight he called me @ 1am I was asleep for a few hours and now he is passed out in his bed and I will be lucky to fall asleep before 4am. And when he woke up long enough to get off the phone he said i guess i'ma crash now i said O errr i guess you kinda already crashed on me he said well sorry and then said i guess i'll talk to you tomorrow told me he loved me and hung up.

I mean he went to his friends house today to for a after his bday party i had no issue with that but he can go drink with them hang out all that but when he comes back to me he falls asleep i feel a little like he can stay awake for them NO matter what time it is but he always falls asleep on me. I know that it may seem like i'm making a mountain out of a mole hill but its Every night he's falling asleep and in August when schools starts for me I wont have the kind of time i have now to talk 3 and 4 times a day i'll b lucking to get one and i dont wanna spend nights when we talk for 15 minutes and he crashes. Am i being selfish here what should i say to him about this

[jennten]

Ah, I've been dealing with the same thing. I'm involved in a play right now, which keeps me out til 11 for 4 days of the week. He's 3 hours ahead so that's 2 am for him. The last two weekends, he's wanted to stay up to talk to me, only to fade out on me shortly into the conversation. I had a lot of those same feelings you mentioned (about how he could stay out til like 3 am with his friends but fall asleep on me) and we had a big talk about it the other day. I told him that he shouldn't promise me a conversation if he knows he's going to be tired and we eventually agreed to just not talk if it requires him to be up super late. Now, we try to Skype before I have to go to the show and I call him for a short little goodnight conversation afterwords.

I guess all I can tell you is to try to plan conversations around when he'll be tired. If he has trouble staying up, don't ask him to- it'll just end up disappointing you again and again. He's probably able to stay awake with his friends because they're out doing things and he's not laying in his warm, cozy bed. See if you can fit in a phone call at night, as long as you can acknowledge that it won't be a long conversation. If you do already talk to him several times a day, a short extra talk at the end before he passes out should be okay. Try to have a bigger conversation earlier in the day so you don't feel like you're missing anything.

---------- Post added at 01:24 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:24 AM ----------

Ah, I've been dealing with the same thing. I'm involved in a play right now, which keeps me out til 11 for 4 days of the week. He's 3 hours ahead so that's 2 am for him. The last two weekends, he's wanted to stay up to talk to me, only to fade out on me shortly into the conversation. I had a lot of those same feelings you mentioned (about how he could stay out til like 3 am with his friends but fall asleep on me) and we had a big talk about it the other day. I told him that he shouldn't promise me a conversation if he knows he's going to be tired and we eventually agreed to just not talk if it requires him to be up super late. Now, we try to Skype before I have to go to the show and I call him for a short little goodnight conversation afterwords.

I guess all I can tell you is to try to plan conversations around when he'll be tired. If he has trouble staying up, don't ask him to- it'll just end up disappointing you again and again. He's probably able to stay awake with his friends because they're out doing things and he's not laying in his warm, cozy bed. See if you can fit in a phone call at night, as long as you can acknowledge that it won't be a long conversation. If you do already talk to him several times a day, a short extra talk at the end before he passes out should be okay. Try to have a bigger conversation earlier in the day so you don't feel like you're missing anything.

[knhdarw]

He's always tired it never fails even on his lunch break @ 1 in the day he will still fall asleep on me. But then when he calls me and tells me about how he's out with his friends that he stayed up til 4 and 5am and yet he cant even stay up til 1am with me. I feel kinda hurt because he says he loves me and he wants nothing more then to have me there but yet i cant help but feel let down and kinda like i dont matter when all he does is fall asleep on me. N i get to sit up and cry while he's nicely tucked away in his bed all happy and like nothings wrong. and he makes me feel guilty for feeling this way

[NaNi]

My SO used to be the same way! We would talk through Skype and then she would just fall asleep... even on voice recordings!!! Yes, I was very annoyed. I told her how it made me feel and it never happened again. We only talk once a week now anyway, so I guess she's just also really happy to get to talk to me.

[knhdarw]

I've told my bf for a very long time about how it makes me feel all he says is Oh.... i'm sry thats the text message i got this morning after sending his 2 long long text messages after he fell asleep on me. i feel like he doesnt care about what i'm feeling @ all when we 1st got together he would stay up til 3 and 4am and we talk forever but now jeez he's 25 and and cant up with me past 1am.

[NaNi]

I've told my bf for a very long time about how it makes me feel all he says is Oh.... i'm sry thats the text message i got this morning after sending his 2 long long text messages after he fell asleep on me. i feel like he doesnt care about what i'm feeling @ all when we 1st got together he would stay up til 3 and 4am and we talk forever but now jeez he's 25 and and cant up with me past 1am.

Is your SO lying down while talking to you? That might be the reason for his sleepiness. He should sit up. That's what my SO did and it actually made her feel more awake.

[knhdarw]

he will also fall asleep in his car during his lunch break with me. And yea he'll lay down and fall asleep but sometimes he'll even b in his computer chair and i cant help but think its me thats causeing him to fall asleep cause i'm the only one he falls asleep talking to

[NaNi]

he will also fall asleep in his car during his lunch break with me. And yea he'll lay down and fall asleep but sometimes he'll even b in his computer chair and i cant help but think its me thats causeing him to fall asleep cause i'm the only one he falls asleep talking to

Well, that's a tricky situation then. I think you should talk to him again. It won't change otherwise!

[jennten]

Yeah, I agree that you guys need to have a conversation about this. It's easy for him to respond to a lengthy text message with just "i'm sorry" but he can't exactly do that on the phone or skype. Tell him how you're feeling and that something needs to change.

[rivi87]

Sometime people can't help how tired they are. My SO and I both have fallen asleep on the phone on eachother. I can't be mad at him when he does he's doing 24 hour missions and it means alot that he just thinks of me . I know there has been a few times we have been talking where I fall asleep...I am wierd I'll just start talking about wierd stuff when I'm tired that I don't even remember saying...thats when I know its time for bed :P

[Kerry]

My boyfriend has fallen asleep while we've spoken on the floor before. He always apologizes when it happens.

[knhdarw]

I go to school full time plus have a 15 hour a week internship and getting a part time job i'm only 5 years younger then he is and i'm physically and mentally tired all the time on a given day i wake up 630am and do not get to sleep til 1 or 2am so i'm getting the same amount of sleep he is we've been together for almost a year and i can count on 1 hand how many times i've fallen asleep on him and every times its been while i was sick or had to get up @ 4am and go into the hospital to do an emergency surgery with the doc i intern with. I feel like there's a double standard because when i fall asleep on him its like i'm the worst person in the world and he makes me feel bad the next day, but if he does it he says i only get 6 hours asleep a night and he's been dieting and not getting enough food to eat. we get the same sleep, its not like hes doing the 24 hour missions like ur SO he works in a gov office and he stays out late parting and drinking with his buddies and i stay home waiting for him to call me (all of my friends have went back home for college, and my friends that i grew up with are 4 hours away taking summer classes) So i dont really have ne one here to hang with so it makes it harder.

[AllieCat1989]

Well when he calls you at night he's in bed right? If he's going to bed he's probably tired, and calls you to talk to you before he sleeps. So he calls you when he's ready to sleep.
I love falling asleep on the phone with my fiance. I love getting him going in some conversation about something he has a lot of opinion on like a video game, politics, movie, etc, then while he's talking away I just take in his voice and fall asleep. He'll wake me up later and tell me to go to sleep and put the phone away so I don't roll on my phone or something (it's an expensive Blackberry Torch he bought me ha ha). Maybe have him sit up when he talks to you instead of laying down and being too comfortable?

I like falling asleep on the phone because it's as close to falling asleep WITH him as I can get.

Okay I just read that he falls asleep in his car or at his computer... that's ridiculous. Tell him to wake the hell up and talk to you, does he do this EVERY time you guys talk?

[knhdarw]

I fully understand the point about falling asleep on the phone i really do i think thats his mind set sometimes to but he'll wake me up and he know i cant go back to sleep easily once i'm awake he woke me up @ 1am and i couldnt fall asleep b4 4am i mean dont get me wrong i would talk to him forever and idc if he wakes me up @ 4am just to hear my voice and tell me he loves me thats fine but every night falling asleep on the phone and when he calls me during his lunch break we talk for 10 minutes then he passes out.
AllieCat- yes almost everyday he falls asleep on me @ least once, and 3 out of 5 days a week he falls asleep in his car during his lunch break. and his computer its not as much as he ust to but i remember when we 1st got together he wouldnt fall asleep on me and could and would talk to me for hours @ a time and come home early from his friends just to talk to me and he doesnt do that anymore. So idk what to do cause you know as well as i do LDRs are ALL about the communication and phone convos and oovooing and skyping. I just feel like im doing something wrong and that he uses falling asleep as a cope out to not talk to me (im probaly being silly with that assumption but thats what i feel like)