NOT counting down :(

[eaoreilly]

My SO just emailed me that the planned meeting in August is out....this is after we spent over an hour last night with Google Map going over the itinerary, etc!!! I am just heartbroken...he has a lot on right now, and I do understand the pressures that he's under, but....I need to find out if this will really work...and it's hard to do from 10,000 miles away, only by electronic communication...he says that he loves me very much, but...I sure don't feel it at this time...what to do? I've got a passport, and a visa to his country....should I fly over there to give this a chance?

[Mara]

Why did he cancel the meeting in August in the first place?

[meg]

As someone who's SO cancelled our first meeting not once, but twice, I understand how horrible you're feeling. But try to be understanding, they're not doing it to spite you, they're dong it because they have to. Try and reorganise another trip as soon as possible, but don't nag and DON'T guilt trip him into it. It's hard, believe me. I've become snappy about it in the past, and then quickly realised my mistake and apologised. It's difficult, but stay strong

[Hollis]

If you don't feel loved, I hope you're not just basing it on the canceled meeting.
If it's truly because he's busy there, I think that volunteering to meet him there would be easier on him but, I don't know what's on his plate right now.
Ask him if you can set a date in the future for a meeting and see how he reacts.

[Karringtyn]

You need to communicate and find out the reason......just because the visit was postponed doesn't mean you aren't loved....open up and talk!

[bluishskin]

I agree with everyone. A cancelled plan can be caused by anything and I think he did it becoz he simply couldn't do it for some reason but not becoz he doesn't love you. Go talk to him about your plan to visit him and see what he thinks about it. I hope you get to see each other pretty soon. You both need it. Good luck!

[aggie]

Oh totally. Maybe he'll just have too much on to go on trips with you, but he'll be more than happy to welcome you at his place? Although not the perfectly neutral ground for first meeting.. You need to find out whats the go. Then tell us, and then we'll help you! I think all of us went through some sort of similar thing at some stage... and it sure doesn't mean he doesn't love you. There may be many things that have influenced the change of plans... Take care.

[flatliner]

im right with you, my SO and i have been planning for months to see eachother this summer and then when we finally have it all planned out my friend(not friend anymore) said to me at our graduation that he wont drive me down now:/ so for now its out of the question but well see eachother eventually

[eaoreilly]

Thanks so much for the support, everyone.....he does have a lot on his plate....he needs to sell his house, find a place to live, sell his business (after being separated for 3 years, the divorce is now in its final stages) to pay for everything...but this whole situation has really put a strain on us. He doesn't understand that yes, it did hurt, and he really needs to communicate to me his feelings and problems, especially when they involve us - holding them in only results in what we're going through right now. I did offer to fly there, but...he said he really wanted to see me in the states, and not where all of his anxiety is from right now...I really need to see if this will work, in person....so we're at a bit of a weird standstill right now, and since I'm housesitting, the only communication is by email..,