Retroactive Jealousy?

[Caitlin2009]

you gotta understand thats the past and she cant change that, i know Denise is not my first kiss and i know im not Denise's first kiss but as a couple and being soulmates it technically was the first, we dont count our past relationships cause there the past they mean nothing anymore, were each others future just like you and Rebecca are! the only time it bothers me is if im in a really shitty mood and i think back on her one and only good relationship before me, but even now it doesnt bother me as much as it used to. She cant change her past nor would i want her to, shes with me right now and thats all that matters!!

[Bobbiejeanne]

I totally understand! When me and Brennen started dating, we learned a lot about each other exes and what we did. I was kinda jealous of this girl and how she got to be his first and things like that. Of course, he probably felt the same way when I told him my ex had proposed to me.
What you have to remember is (and I still have to tell myself this every once and a while) they broke up for a reason!
Brennen's ex cheated on him! She isn't even worth a second thought on my part. And your SO's ex shouldn't be worth it to you either.
Your future should matter more then their past.

I know I'm restating a lot that's already been said, but I really wanted to add my twist to it

[Jezah]

I have this with my SO, but I think I know why with me. I am so jealous of his exes because they got to cuddle him, kiss him, other things with him....but I haven't yet. See I haven't met him face to face yet so I think my jealousy may be more envy, and I am practically green with it! He always tells me not to be, since I am the first girlfriend he has ever actually loved, planned a future with, but I think until I get everything else those girls did I will not be content.

[FadedSunrise]

I had this...for a tiny bit. I knew that he had someone before, but that he was my first everything. But then I decided not to question it and accept the past was the past. I've come to realize that he was a very different person in college, when he dated her, to now a few years out in the workforce when he and I met. If he hadn't changed in these years, we might not have come together.

[NaNi]

Well, I just sent my SO an email - promising her that I won't bring that topic up again. It's for the better. The more I keep mentioning him, the more he will be a part of our relationship. I really don't want that! It's OUR relationship! He's out of her life. She doesn't care about him. I'm not sure if it will always work, but I'm just going to think positively from now on. Thanks to everyone who replied.