Entering LDR. Don't know what to do...Visiting issues.

[EZ.VD]

Hi all,

I was just Googling LDR and came across this useful website. I'd just like to share my situation...

My girlfriend and I have dated for just about 2 years and 5 months. We are a younger couple, only 18 and 19. She is moving 3500 KM away (2200 Miles) with her family due to her father relocating for a job. The move is permanent. We love each other very much. She left this morning and I couldn't stop crying...

I was reading LDR tips and I guess we will try our best to make this work. We can talk and text and Skype but still I know it will be very hard as I am the type who needs alot of attention. My only concern is visiting each other. We are both young and visiting each other will be very expensive. So it may not happen often..

Currently I attend University here, hopefully in the next 2 or 3 years I can transfer to the school where she is. It may take awhile as the school there is very good and expects very high GPA.

Other than me transferring schools, our other option is to wait it out, finish school and for me to move there as well. Which would be at least 3 years...(Just finished 1st year of my 4 year program).

I really hope this can work out, I don't know how. But I really hope so...

Thank you for reading.

[uniquefem]

welcome! good luck on the LDR just have some faith on it.. lots of work to be done in LDR tho...

[Malaga]

Welcome!
It's very important to keep a positive attitude. You've been together for awhile, you know each other well and feelings between you are strong. There is no reason why you couldn't make it. I know the distance seems unbearable now and gives you little to look forward to. But distance will also teach you to communicate, prioritize, trust and appreciate each other in all the new ways. This will be a very healthy foundation to build upon when you close the distance again.

There will be some bad days, everyone has them. But if you keep a positive frame of mind, you'll see that they come and go. You are on the same side, keep that in mind when the going gets tough. Discuss your plans together when the moment is right. If changing schools is your goal, keep your eyes on it and work hard to achieve it. It makes the distance easier to take, when you have an end date in sight and you know you're doing everything you can to close it.

I wish you all the best x

[Mara]

Welcome!
It's very important to keep a positive attitude. You've been together for awhile, you know each other well and feelings between you are strong. There is no reason why you couldn't make it. I know the distance seems unbearable now and gives you little to look forward to. But distance will also teach you to communicate, prioritize, trust and appreciate each other in all the new ways. This will be a very healthy foundation to build upon when you close the distance again.

There will be some bad days, everyone has them. But if you keep a positive frame of mind, you'll see that they come and go. You are on the same side, keep that in mind when the going gets tough. Discuss your plans together when the moment is right. If changing schools is your goal, keep your eyes on it and work hard to achieve it. It makes the distance easier to take, when you have an end date in sight and you know you're doing everything you can to close it.

I wish you all the best x

This.

Also, things are the worse when you first become long distance. After a while, you sort of adjust. You never stop messing the person or wanting them to be there, but you get used to not seeing them for long periods of time and even though it hurts you will adapt. We all do.

[Joyce:)]

Welcome! There are many LDRs here where the couplese get to see each other once in a long while. My boyfriend and I are like 7000 miles away from each other, in different countries, so the only chance we have to closing the distance is to wait 3 or 4 years, depending on how long my university programme will be.
Long distance is hard, but not impossible for who is truly meant for each other. You've been together for quite a long time, so you know each other well, and that helps a lot when it comes to dealing with time spent apart. Good luck, in getting a high GPA and in being patient, and keep in mind that you are not alone

[Yaaamiii]

It may seem tough but keep in mind that there are people who have it tougher with larger amounts of distance and make it through with their heads held high . Keep a positive attitude, the beginning of a LDR is always the toughest because one or both are trying to adjust to the new changes and it may take just a little bit of time. It takes a lot of work but it is definitely worth it.

[GatoGirl]

Hi, there, EZ.VD,
Welcome to the site, and strange as it may seem, welcome to an LDR, the road less traveled, although ironically, those of us in LDRs spend a lot of time on the road! :-) I agree with the other posts, and especially want to say that you are in the very worst part, the beginning of the LDR. It doesn't get to be a piece of cake, but it does get easier. You also find that you value the relationship more, because both of you are willing to put in the time and effort to make it work. Also know that the fact that you feel emotionally and physically ROTTEN right now is your body's way of saying you miss your loved one, NOT that there's something 'wrong' with the LDR.

[Minerva]

Hi there and welcome!

I became friends with a man I'd never met. We "met" online on a fandom forum, and built our friendship day by day until we were best friends. We did it solely through IMs and email; we didn't even call each other.

We finally met for the first time last summer, and we felt comfortable. It was like meeting a long-lost friend. Now we're even closer, now we're a couple. We've only seen each other for maybe 6 days total, but our relationship continues to grow and flourish each day. We've added Skype to our communications, and that's been another nice way to talk.

And reading many peoples stories here, it seems a lot of people in LDRs met online and built something with someone they've never even met.

My point is, if entire relationships can be built online, they can also be sustained. The distance doesn't diminish the feelings. It's not easy, I won't lie, and that's easy for me to say because I'm new to this too. But if you love someone, if this person is THE one, and if you're both committed, it can work. There are so many inspiring examples of how it can work right on this very site.

It's not hopeless, and you can do this. *hugs*

Best of luck to you, I hope you feel better soon. It's so hard to say goodbye, I know.

[Rosebud]

Trust me, there are lots of other couples who feel your pain when it comes to the struggles of visiting their partner. It's not fun but is IS do-able. I don't suggest just chalking it up to being impossible and settling down for the next 2-3 years just yet however. Is this something you can discuss with your parents? Do either of you have jobs or any means of obtaining a bit of extra income? You may not get to visit as often as you'd like, but I'm sure if you could plan a visit, likely during the summer or winter breaks, even if it's just once a year, that that is something do-able and will give you both something to look forward to and strive for.

Good luck!

[melpie]

Hello I wish you the best of luck! It won't be easy but give I vote for giving it a shot and seeing where it takes your relationship. If you don't already have a job it would be useful because those plane tickets are spendy... but our decade has made it easier to be LDR with Skype, AIM, MSN, texting, and cheaper, easier, long distance calls. It won't be the same as being with your girlfriend but these will come in handy and ease the problem quite a bit! Again good luck!

[Sunbeam]

And reading many peoples stories here, it seems a lot of people in LDRs met online and built something with someone they've never even met.

My point is, if entire relationships can be built online, they can also be sustained. The distance doesn't diminish the feelings. It's not easy, I won't lie, and that's easy for me to say because I'm new to this too. But if you love someone, if this person is THE one, and if you're both committed, it can work. There are so many inspiring examples of how it can work right on this very site.

It's not hopeless, and you can do this. *hugs*

This. My S.O. and I met online, and from the very beginning, the 3700+ mileage difference has sucked.
We adjusted, and while it still sucks, we can bear it.
I'm in the same boat you are, in uni, wondering if I should transfer. So I say, if it's a viable option, try for it. I'm currently getting my GPA up so I can possibly transfer and do graduate studies at a uni closer to my boy.

The good thing about these forums, is everyone has experienced (or is still experiencing) the OMG-distance-sucks feelings. We're all here for you.

I do hope you start adjusting and feeling better *hugs*

[Lina]

Welcome Just like everyone else said, as long as you stay strong and have faith in your feelings for each other, this will work out. There are other persons who waited more than 3 years to be together, so this is just an example that it's all possible as long as you're willing to fight for it.

[EZ.VD]

Thank you all for your kind words and inspirational stories. It's been a tough day, but we're surviving.
I've been looking into other travel alternatives such as cheaper bus travel.

Thank you for your support.