Am i horrible?

[kiara_silver]

Okay so heres whats going on. My nathan has saved up and come to the U.S from scotland, saved up all on his own with no help from me, and is here for 8 weeks. I wasn't able to do anything, and when hes here i have no money to help. Originally i thought i would have enough saved turns out i don't and now im like on my last 20-40 bucks.... So he still wants to go to disney and L.A and San diego and pay it all for me! everything, room and food. Am i horrible for agreeing to all this? Hes already spent so much to come here and see me, and now to also have to pay for me. Originally i thought i should go home and just let him go but he says he will come back with me if i did that. Wich would make me feel gulty if he did to miss out on seeing amazing places and stay in my boring town. So if i go... but idk, is it as bad as it sounds?

[Sierra]

Okay so heres whats going on. My nathan has saved up and come to the U.S from scotland, saved up all on his own with no help from me, and is here for 8 weeks. I wasn't able to do anything, and when hes here i have no money to help. Originally i thought i would have enough saved turns out i don't and now im like on my last 20-40 bucks.... So he still wants to go to disney and L.A and San diego and pay it all for me! everything, room and food. Am i horrible for agreeing to all this? Hes already spent so much to come here and see me, and now to also have to pay for me. Originally i thought i should go home and just let him go but he says he will come back with me if i did that. Wich would make me feel gulty if he did to miss out on seeing amazing places and stay in my boring town. So if i go... but idk, is it as bad as it sounds?

No, it's not as bad as it sounds. This is your man, he's allowed to provide for you and guess what, probably doing so will make him feel really good about himself. I understand the guilt you are feeling - I don't let my boyfriend pay for anything when he's here, I don't know what it is about it but I feel like I shouldn't make him pay. These are things that he wants to experience with you, don't take that away from him because of the guilt you feel in not having enough money.

If you do feel guilty about it, why don't you allow him to pay but pay him back when you're able to?

[snow_girl]

If my SO wasn't able to pay for himself and I had to money to pay for him I would do it in a second over not getting to see him till he had the money. When my SO splurges on me he always says it just to make up on not spending the money a CD bf would spend (dinners, movies, etc) I feel bad but when I do have to money I will pay for his half. I know it is no where near what hes spent on me but I think he understands.
I don't think its horrible to go and have fun with your SO on his expense. I'm sure the money means nothing to him knowing he is going to be with you.

[Zephii]

It's just money. Sometimes he'll have it and you wont. Sometimes you'll have it and he wont. Don't worry about it, and find other ways to make up for it/ show appreciation.

[Silencedsongs]

Honestly, the fact your even concerned over it should tell you - you're not a horrible person. :P

I'm in the same situation. Jordan traveled here from France, and basically paid for everything. I helped where I could, as paying for dinner here or there... but I don't have that kind of money and always felt guilty. Go, enjoy, and have a great time at it. They're right, it's just money. And if he's the one who is able to have the funds this time around, then roll with it and have fun! Sounds like you've got quite the trip planned.

[Minerva]

No you're not horrible. I understand how you feel -- I'm someone who likes to pay my own way. But if you can't, you can't. This is your SO, come all the way from the UK to see your part of the world, and he wants to do with you at his side. Just push away those guilty feelings and enjoy your time together. And when you have more money, you can do the same for him.

[Malaga]

The moments you spend together have no value in money. He has that money, and this is the best way for him to spend it. You're not a golddigger if you go with him. In fact, it's a token of trust. Step out of your comfort zone and let him take care of you.

[Lina]

He's doing all of this to spend time with you and it's really sweet of him to offer and pay for everything. You shouldn't feel bad about it, you both know you're not abusing his money and just like Malaga said, the happiness you bring to each other has no value in money

[Micah]

My SO has paid for all of my trips to see him, has paid for all the entertainment we have had on our trips, and recently paid to move me and my children out here (which wasn't cheap). Yes, I feel guilty from time to time that I can't contribute more, but life is about so much more than money. A lot of the fun you have is because of the people you are with. I am sure that your SO sees this trip as a time to get to know you and sometimes in those instances things like money are no object. It's different if you expect him to pay your way, but you don't. He is offering to help out and that means he wants to. You can't put a price on the memories you two are creating.

[cybunny]

I am in the same boat as above! My bf has paid for every trip and all entertainment every time on our visits, and is currently paying for my daughters and I to fly out to the Netherlands! I do at times feel guilty that I can't contribute, but I reassure myself that if he did not want to do it he simply wouldn't. After all like others have said it is just money! So enjoy your trip!!

[loveknowsnodistance27]

You're not a horrible person at all! Guys have this whole macho ego they want to protect, and they love paying for us because it inflates the manliness. They love feeling like they can provide for their girlfriend/wife/fiance. I know whenever I try to pay, my boyfriend refuses...he won't let me do it. It's a little frustrating because I feel bad that he always spends money on me, but I always thank him for it. He thinks its no big deal that he pays and he said it's his job lol.

[knhdarw]

I also have no money and im also a full time college student pre-med so i have no time for a job so for right now my So pays for about 70% of everything i hate it but he does it cause he wants to see me and spend time with me and he has a great job and saves to come or me go see him so for the moment enjoy your time together honey one day yall will both be able to pay 50-50

[theyellowdart]

I agree with everything that was said above. Thus far in my relationship I have paid for a majority of things. Especially the big things like plane tickets and hotels. She's paid for a couple meals here or there, and even than, I think she knows it makes me a little uncomfortable. Its the whole guy thing, we get a big kick out of providing for our lady. It makes us feel good and secure. At least, it does me.

Just go and enjoy the trip. He didn't come all this way to go see Disneyland and go site seeing. Sure, it is something that he wants to do, and it is something that will be a lot of fun, but ultimately the trip was about being with you and spending time with you. Those are memories that he wants to cherish and he wants to cherish them with you. So don't deprive him of that over something as petty as money. At the end of the day, money is nothing if you have no one to spend your time with.

Enjoy! best of luck

[kiara_silver]

Thanks guys this helps in a big way hearing all this, makes me try to see his side a bit more, because if reversed i would love to help and spoil him. The other day i was out with him we were just chilling and i was thinking about how he might miss out on things because of me, like going to the san fran zoo or aquarium or alcatraz because i can't afford and wouldn't want him to spend on me, while im thinking this he says brb and comes back with a single red rose. Just melts me. Well i just spent my last bit, i now have 77 cents... and he is fine with it, i was feeling so guilty and debating just going home and try to convince him to go off on his own, but he said he wont do that so we've come to a agreement that he will just let me pay him back when i can. So eh hafta just try not to get depressed and feel guilty cause it ruins the mood. But other than this things have been amazing! We had a great time on 4th of july dancing sorta to 80's music and watching fireworks!