First argument, I feel bad because I let him down :(

[Snap]

Does the first argument always suck or what? I feel so bad. To make a long story short, last week my boyfriend gave me a bunch of suggestions for this project I'm working on. Earlier today, I used what I thought was one of the suggestions he gave me and I told him that. He told me, "Wait, that wasn't even a suggestion of mine. Were you even listening to me? You were just smiling and nodding." I guess I got what he said confused with something else. It's not even that big of a deal but I could just hear the disappointment in his voice for the rest of the conversation. His responses were sort of short and I could tell that he just didn't want to talk much. I feel really, really bad and like I said, it's something so minor yet I feel like I let him down.

Any advice? I'm hoping he'll forget this happened, but unlike myself (obviously) he has a good memory.

[Lina]

Just like you said, it's something minor. You could have heard the idea somewhere else and somehow had the feeling that he's the one who suggested it to you. He shouldn't have reacted so impulsively. Small mistakes happen, it's in human nature to forget something or make confusions. If it was an important thing then yes, he would've had the right to be upset/annoyed. Just make sure you don't stay in this current mood for long. The sooner both of you get over this, the better it is for your LDR.

[Anikinz]

yeah its not really that big of a deal so i suggest you just tell him how you feel, listen to what he has to say, and both forget about it.
tell him what you told us, that you just got it confused and that you were listening to him and that you feel very bad for hurting his feelings.
i agree with Lena also, he did overreact..so.. you might want to tell him that. sometimes people just dont realize it lol
but after that all you can do is just wait till he gets over this. guys tend to forgive and forget really quickly anyway
and for all you know it might have been just a coincidence that he looked upset

[loveanewyorkwoman]

The first argument doesn't suck, it just proves you're both human and can't look through the rose colored glasses forever... as appealing as that may be.

Today I had to ask what time a concert is tomorrow. I knew who she was going to see and that it was at night, but I couldn't remember the time. I asked, question answered. It might annoy the other person at times but if you don't ask you won't know. Something I like to think recently is that there are one of a few ways this can go. You can build bridges, you can burn bridges, or you can stand at the bridge and do nothing and wonder what would have happened had you picked up the hammer or the match. I'd' ask him if he would mind repeating what he suggested. Asking at least shows you care to hear the input of what he has to say and want to get it right.

You've got your own life and sometimes, just because he is talking and you are listening, doesn't necessarily mean the information sunk in. There are some battles worth fighting and others that aren't. Things like this happen all the time.

[Malaga]

Like others have said, that's childish behaviour from him for something very very minor. Don't fret it, nothing you did was offensive or hurtful at all, it happens to everyone everywhere and it's a normal part of communication.

There might be underlying reasons for him to react so strongly, which have nothing to do with you at all. Maybe he feels like he doesn't get enough credit at work or school, and his reaction to your 'offense' is actually directed at his boss or colleagues. People tend to snap at those they feel safe with, when in reality it's not even you he's frustrated with. Just assume that's the case and continue like nothing's happened.

---------- Post added at 10:49 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:48 AM ----------

Like others have said, that's childish behaviour from him for something very very minor. Don't fret it, nothing you did was offensive or hurtful at all, it happens to everyone everywhere and it's a normal part of communication.

There might be underlying reasons for him to react so strongly, which have nothing to do with you at all. Maybe he feels like he doesn't get enough credit at work or school, and his reaction to your 'offense' is actually directed at his boss or colleagues. People tend to snap at those they feel safe with, when in reality it's not even you he's frustrated with. Just assume that's the case and continue like nothing's happened.

[Rosebud]

I can understand his point of view. He wanted to help you and was probably feeling pretty happy that he offered you some ideas that he really felt could work for you, so it sort of stings when it feels as though his efforts went unappreciated or that you didn't notice that he was trying give you support on this project. Of course I know that was NOT your intention but I don't think he's being ridiculous for feeling a bit hurt either. I don't advise telling him he's overreacting or telling him to just leave it behind and since you do feel guilty I think apologizing and explaining a bit more about how you do appreciate his efforts and you thought the idea you used was his anyway might help soothe the hurt feelings a bit. No one likes to feel ignored.

[Snap]

Thanks all for your input! I talked to him earlier today and I briefly mentioned the incident. I told him that I was sorry that I upset him but at the same time what he said hurt my feelings. He replied in shock that he had no idea what I was talking about. He said he had no intention of hurting my feelings, that he was just joking around, that sometimes it can be difficult to tell with the tone of his voice (we were talking on the phone) and that he felt bad that my feelings were hurt. He was also going to work when this happened so he didn't have much time to talk hence the short answers. So....I guess it was nothing? I wasted a whole couple of days feeling miserable about this.

I hate relying on the stupid phone.

[Lina]

Thanks all for your input! I talked to him earlier today and I briefly mentioned the incident. I told him that I was sorry that I upset him but at the same time what he said hurt my feelings. He replied in shock that he had no idea what I was talking about. He said he had no intention of hurting my feelings, that he was just joking around, that sometimes it can be difficult to tell with the tone of his voice (we were talking on the phone) and that he felt bad that my feelings were hurt. He was also going to work when this happened so he didn't have much time to talk hence the short answers. So....I guess it was nothing? I wasted a whole couple of days feeling miserable about this.

I hate relying on the stupid phone.

Woohoo, glad you solved it. Well, it's good it was nothing Not saying it's ok that you worried all this time, but better than if it were an actual incident.

As for relying on phone , Amen to that! lol

[Malaga]

Thanks all for your input! I talked to him earlier today and I briefly mentioned the incident. I told him that I was sorry that I upset him but at the same time what he said hurt my feelings. He replied in shock that he had no idea what I was talking about. He said he had no intention of hurting my feelings, that he was just joking around, that sometimes it can be difficult to tell with the tone of his voice (we were talking on the phone) and that he felt bad that my feelings were hurt. He was also going to work when this happened so he didn't have much time to talk hence the short answers. So....I guess it was nothing? I wasted a whole couple of days feeling miserable about this.

I hate relying on the stupid phone.

Hehe. Seriously, guys are like that. It's us who tend to fret and make it a problem. Next time there's a minor misunderstanding like that, just try to shrug it off. He probably a) doesn't mean it nearly as serious as it sounds, and 2) forgets all about it as soon as he hangs up.