He cheated. We wanna make it work. Am i making a Mistake?

[truebeauty89]

Hi,

Yesterday my long distance boyfriend called me crying. He told me that his friend came to his house crying about personal issues at home. He told me that in the mist of him calming her down, they kissed. He said he knows he screwed up and he begged me not to leave him. Well long story short I did get angry (who wouldn't). I told him what was on my kind and I wasn't apologetic for it. After that he answered all my questions and I found out that they use to date years back. He said that he doesn't have feelings for her and he will do anything to make it right. He was honest with me from the beginning so should I give him another chance or let him go? I don't know what to do.

[NaNi]

I think that's something only you can decide for yourself. Some people would break up, some people wouldn't. If you know that you can forgive him eventually and really want to make the relationship work, go for it. I'm not sure how I would react though. The trust would be gone probably.

[Lina]

I agree with NaNi. In this situation, only the persons involved can take the right decisions. Have "a talk" with yourself: can you really forgive him? Is it worth it? Will the trust and respect between you be the same? These are just a few questions you're probably asking yourself or should do so.

[Lina]

I agree with NaNi. In this situation, only the persons involved can take the right decisions. Have "a talk" with yourself: can you really forgive him? Is it worth it? Will the trust and respect between you be the same? These are just a few questions you're probably asking yourself or should do so.

[Moon]

If he only kissed her, I would agree to work it out, if he'll agree to no further contact with her. He was obviously remorseful, he didn't have to tell you and you probably would have never known, which also means he's honest. If he slept with her, it would be different, I'd say forget him, but he knew he was wrong and stopped. If there are no other problems, I'd give him another chance for this one.

[loveanewyorkwoman]

Only you can answer whether or not you want to be with him still. I'd ask myself if I could ever conceivably trust them again. There's just as many questions you have to ask yourself about this as you do him. A large part of this rests on your ability or inability to believe him in the future if he tells you nothing happened.

[loveanewyorkwoman]

double post, sorry, computer has serious lag issues today.

[truebeauty89]

Thank you and yes he did promise to no long talk to her again. And it was just a kiss and he was honest, which is a reason why Im considering giving him another chance.

---------- Post added at 09:26 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:24 AM ----------

Thanks everyone for your feedback. I really appreciate it

[Sierra]

Many people work through cheating issues where actually sex was involved, and if you forgiving and moving on is what you think is best for both of you, I encourage you to do it. I can say that if my boyfriend kissed another woman I would most likely forgive him, if he had sex with her, that's another story.

I think rebuilding the trust is the hardest part, but like I said, if you both are willing to put in the work, and you think the relationship is worth it, try to work through it. Sometimes people make mistakes, and sometimes those relationships are worth saving.

[Engel]

I think it is hard and i would take probably yeard to forgive something like this completelly (forgive not forget), but the fact he told you and was honest from the start is a plus. was it the first time he did this? if yes, i think i would consider a second chance, but only in this case, with him telling without me having to find out. it deppends on how much you think the relationship is worthy fighting for. *hugs*

---------- Post added at 10:00 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:57 AM ----------

If he only kissed her, I would agree to work it out, if he'll agree to no further contact with her. He was obviously remorseful, he didn't have to tell you and you probably would have never known, which also means he's honest. If he slept with her, it would be different, I'd say forget him, but he knew he was wrong and stopped. If there are no other problems, I'd give him another chance for this one.

that! you would probably not have now if he didnt tell, and he is sorry, so if it ever happens again, and he has no more contact with her like moon said, i would give him a chance this one time.

[Karringtyn]

I looked at your profile and saw you have only been together a few weeks and have yet to meet. Hon follow your heart. Any of us could say what we would do...and honestly what I think doesn't matter. It's how YOU feel and if you think you can trust him. That is what it all comes down to. Look forward to hearing more from you!

[morgan(:]

You guys have been dating for a month and a half or so right? Well, it just depends on if you think that he'll do it again... If you can trust him, then go for it. I don't know if I would be able to trust my boyfriend of a month to never do it again. If you can trust him, then more power to you! Trust is the basis of every relationship.

[truebeauty89]

Thank you all so much. Yall all gave great advice and i now believe that ill just follow my heart. You guys helped me alot and i appreciate it

[MadMolly]

Personally I wouldn't even really consider that to be cheating and since he told you straight away, no hard feelings... I'd be fine with forgiving him. Just no more alone time with the girl!

[Yaaamiii]

I think that's something only you can decide for yourself. Some people would break up, some people wouldn't. If you know that you can forgive him eventually and really want to make the relationship work, go for it. I'm not sure how I would react though. The trust would be gone probably.

This, pretty much. At least he was honest with you from the start. Its really up to you though. Make sure to think about it though. Also, if this is the first time anything like this has happened, then I would probably consider it. If it isn't, then I probably wouldn't. Again, first time or not, the trust I had in him would probably be gone, or I would be really paranoid from then on...this one is definitely a toughy :P