Still waiting on that first visit.

[meg]

I've not seen my SO in nearly 7 months. He was meant to come down in june. He cancelled.
He was meant to be coming down this week. He cancelled.
I was meant to be going up to his next week....for all of 24 hours. And he turns around and says he'd like to see his friends in the evening. I WAS ASKING FOR 24 HOURS. Apparently, it's not a big deal, but it is to me, he was gonna leave me alone in a strange city, after i'd driven up there for 6 hours, spent a total of £90 in fuel, when i'd already see him for less than 24 hours, and he wants to ditch me?!

So, I told him no way. Not doing it. Next visit he can organise himself, i've taken too much time off work for him already, spent too much on tickets and events he didn't turn up to. It sucks that I'm not seeing him, but this behaviour isn't acceptable.

Normally, I can justify his cancellations because he's working hard at uni, but this I'm not making excuses for.

[Riyko]

that's not right, i mean he can see his friends anytime, but you he doesn't get to see all the time. I think you are handling this situation correctly and that he can plan the next visit it isn't fair to you that he keeps cancelling visits or telling you he's going to hang out with his friends after you told him you'd go and visit him =/

[Kat Marie]

Honestly, after 7 months, you'd think he'd be psyched/ready to see you! Something doesn't sound right. Is he afraid of commitment? Is he afraid that seeing you in person will make distance harder when you go away? Sometimes guys avoid confrontation so they start avoiding the issue until the girl breaks down and ends up ending things because he doesn't know what else to do! At the same time, you don't want to assume anything - assumptions are bad - he could very well just NOT GET IT. Guys think differently than girls, they aren't always on the same wavelength! Explain to him that it's important to you that you two spend time together face to face, and that you miss him quite a bit. He could just be afraid or nervous. I don't know, since I don't know either of you. I'm just rambling because I want to help in some way and I don't know what else to say! Haha. But then, I just re-read your post and you said that you've spent money on tickets and events that he didn't show up to?? Now THAT isn't right. Sounds like you should evaluate the relationship! I really hope things go well for you, but you need to remember that YOU come number one in your life - you deserve so much more than what it sounds like you're getting!!

Ok, now I'm done! Lol. Good luck with everything.

[meg]

He's been sorry everytime he's cancelled, and has had a decent reason for each. I don't hold those against him, but this last one, where he picked his friends over me....just wow. It hurt.
I came so close to ending it, he doesn't even know. He could just be being a guy, and not thinking it through, or he could be being a jerk. Not sure yet. :/
Thanks all!

[loveanewyorkwoman]

If you understand the other reasons he has cancelled then don't bring them up, but if your feelings are hurt something needs to be said sooner rather than later.

[Sunbeam]

I would bring up this last visit. Tell him how it hurt, and possibly ask if there's any problem in the relationship on his end.

Good luck! *hugs*

[Lina]

When cancelling for a specific reason, it's ok, it's understandable. But this...well, I have to say that it's pretty rude from his part(considering he has his friends with him all the time and can easily re-schedule meetings with them, while the two of you can see each other rarely).

Talking with him is best thing to do though. Let him know what you think about his choice and about the shattered traveling plans. Maybe it was a "guy-thing", something on the moment, (which doesn't make things any better, it's not en excuse), OR something needs some "tinkering" in your relationship.

[Jkrose76]

Meg, I'm so sorry he did that to you I can't imagine how disappointed and confused you must be. Looking at it from the perspective of an older woman I would be inclined to say it sounds like he doesn't seem to share the same priorities as you right now in the relationship. I know I would be hurt if my SO cancelled on me to spend time with friends. I would definitly let him know how hurt you are to make him aware of how you feel.
Best of luck,
Jennifer

[Yaaamiii]

This would definitely upset me :/ Sorry bout that for you. I would definitely react in the same way though. Maybe worse? My boyfriend knows how I'll react and I'm sure he would know that I would react just as you did if I were in your shoes lol.

I would cool off first though and then manage to talk to him and tell him how you feel. :c