making it work

[Amber]

Another question....my boyfriend brought up once when we were at the college world series that his room mate just broke up with his girlfriend because he was moving away and it just made sense. They made an agreement that it was the right thing to do since they wouldnt see each other....but just as my boyfriend was telling me this he says..."it just makes sense since he is moving away..."....umm...HELLO....my boyfriend is moving away....does this mean he wants to break up? or is he testing to see what i would say?


later that night after a lot of drinks i broke down and told him what i thought...the next morning of course he says he doesnt remember a lot of what i said because of all the drinks that were flowing (dumb on my part) and i told him again that if we are making long distance work now then we can make it work when he moves a little farther away...its the amount of effort you put into the relationship that will allow it to continue like you want it....he agreed with me but its still bothers me that he said this....what do you think? Do you think that he wants to really break up or that he is testing me...I need some advice on what to tell him anymore- i feel like im fighting for something and that he just keeps pushing my buttons....is he scared about how to make it work...

[Rugger]

Talk to him. Ask him what he meant by that. "Hey, You made a comment the other night about such and such, It got me thinking, DO you feeling that way about us..."
Most likely, he wasn't thinking about you when he said it. He was just trying to support his friend.

[Zephii]

I think you worry waaay to much mate. For starters most guys (not all, but most) don't play games like that. They don't test you. It's been proven that men are something like four times less intune with subtle social signals - basically, he isn't wired to have the kind of social depth testing you like that requires. He's not messing with you, he just doesn't think before he opens his mouth. Men are better at saying what they mean/ meaning what they say than we seem to be. So he was probably just talking about his mate and not at all seeing the connection. Don't panic!

But seriously, if you ever don't know what he means ask him. Not in a dramatic tearfilled way - but in a calm logical way.

it very well might be easier to just break up than do the long distance thing - but that doesn't mean he wants it "easy".

[loveanewyorkwoman]

What's good for the goose isn't necessarily what's good for the gander. If in doubt, ask.

[Sunbeam]

I'd ask him what he meant.

The fact that he was talking about his friend, and the mutual decision that couple made seems to me that he may just be trying to support his friend. That, and I know my guy sometimes says things that worry me but fails to see the connection between what he said and our situation.

Remember, communication is key in an LDR.

[Lina]

So he was probably just talking about his mate and not at all seeing the connection. Don't panic!, by Zephii.
Remember, communication is key in an LDR., by Sunbeam.

Two of the things I was going to point out. Don't stress yourself a lot on this, talk to him about it and clarify things. Though I'm sure, like the others said, that he was just trying to support his friend in his decision.

[cybunny]

I agree with Zephii
You always seem to have the most logical and supportive posts

[Joyce:)]

My boyfriend told me about a friend of his in college, who broke up with his two year girlfriend who went to college in LA (and hour flight away) because of distance.
My boyfriend and I are together despite the fact we're 8000 miles apart.
Distance is usually just an excuse. People break up when they think they are not meant for each other, when they think that their love isn't strong enough to survive distance. Everyone here, who is in a LDR, knows that distance isn't an excuse. Tell your boyfriend, if you think that he is THE ONE, that distance is never an excuse to end true love, if ever he has doubts