I cheat on him... i feel horrible!

[uniquefem]

There is something happen today that i expect the last.

A coworker kiss me like he mean it, he said he like me and i feel bad about it because i don't feel the same. When he did i said to him "you shouldn't do that" not because he work same place like i do, also because when he did my SO sad face made me angry to my self. I didn't feel anything to the other guy just a friend.

I didn't think i lead those kiss, and .. it does made me feel like i don't want to go to work anymore. He just a friend for me, and i wont date a co worker!!! I feel scared that i cheat on my bf, because i will meet this guy every day... ohhh...i feel so awful because i did this.

I want to tell him, but i ask one of my friend first and she said don't tell it, if i feel i don't like that other guy. Its just like adding gasoline to the fire.

I really sorry this happen, i know i've been hard to my self, but the guilt killing me... i want to talk with him tonight but my SO just been busy...

I care about my SO very much, i love him deeply... i don't want him to think im not *weep* i won't change anything about our relationship.. like i said the guilt killin me... i can not stop saying sorry...

What should i do? im so confuse....and feel stupid because feeling so confuse!! ughh!! he meant to me that much!!

[snow_girl]

If your co worker came up to you and kissed you without your consent, I wouldn't consider it cheating. It sounds like you put him in his place right after. Personally if you think it would hurt your SO, then don't tell him. It isn't something you did willingly and would unnecessarily make him worry. If you know it won't happen again then leave it. But if it is making you feel guilty and you think that it may have partially been your fault, then maybe you should come clean.

[Lina]

You didn't initiate the kiss and you didn't feel something more than you were supposed to (just like you said, you don't see your co-worker as more than a friend). It was more of an incident so don't bring it up to your SO unless you really think it is important or necessary for him to know, here it's a matter of personal view on the facts. However, I consider that it is best to keep it to yourself. As for feeling like you don't want to go to work anymore, this will fade in time. It's just the fresh shock of what happened.

[uniquefem]

If your co worker came up to you and kissed you without your consent, I wouldn't consider it cheating. It sounds like you put him in his place right after. Personally if you think it would hurt your SO, then don't tell him. It isn't something you did willingly and would unnecessarily make him worry. If you know it won't happen again then leave it. But if it is making you feel guilty and you think that it may have partially been your fault, then maybe you should come clean.

I feel guilty because it happens... i don't want it happens, but it happens, and while with my SO he never even look other girls while walk with me.. thats why i feel guilty

[NaNi]

I feel guilty because it happens... i don't want it happens, but it happens, and while with my SO he never even look other girls while walk with me.. thats why i feel guilty

Did you kiss him back? Or did you make him stop? If you did then you have nothing to worry about. You didn't cheat on your SO. You didn't want that guy to kiss you. You didn't know it would happen. At least I think so? I personally wouldn't like hearing such a thing, obviously, but I'd still like to know if something like that should happen to my SO.

[Malaga]

I don't see you doing anything wrong there and it's not cheating if you didn't willingly participate. That was quite presumptuous of your coworker, he might easily get a sexual harassment complaint filed against him.

Did you coworker get the message? When you say you don't want to go to work anymore, is it just because it's awkward or do you think he might try again? If you tell your boyfriend about it, he might be worried the guy would try again - they get these protective instincts and it might hurt him that he can't be there to help you deal with it.
Well, only you know what he's like.

The other week I was unintentionally flirting with a guy who lives in my building - he was trying to flirt with me but since I'm socially awkward, I find such situations confusing and so I was unintentionally ambiguous in my replies. It upset me that he might conclude I liked him. I told my boyfriend about it - he just laughed! He found it amusing how worked up I got over it, and he still asks me how's my 'lift boyfriend' doing -.-

[cybunny]

Ya from what I have gathered from your post it was a unwanted advance from your co worker and you certainly were not cheating! I would keep it to myself if I were you to save you SO from un necessary worry! I would make it a point to inform said co worker that he has crossed the line and if it happens again you will go to your higher ups and report the incident!

[Moon]

You didn't cheat. You can only control your own actions, not those of other people. You have nothing to feel bad about, you didn't do anything, think about it, if your SO told you he was walking down the street, and some girl just came up to him and kissed him out of nowhere, would you think he cheated on you? You might not like that it happened, but it wasn't anything he wanted or asked for, so....

Don't feel so bad over something you couldn't have prevented or predicted, sometimes weird things happen, and you just have to make peace with it.

I'm not sure about work rules in Indonesia, but if it's possible to report someone to management for sexual harassment, I'd tell the guy that if he ever approaches you again in such a manner, you will tell someone.

[Tanja]

I don't see why you couldn't tell your SO because clearly you did nothing to initiate this kiss AND you told your co-worker that what he did was wrong. You didn't cheat anyone so relax. You obviously feel very strongly about this so just to talk to your guy and I'm sure he'll be fine with it and you can get this off your shoulders.

If this happened to me I would just say to my SO that someone made a pass at me but I told them to f**k off. You shouldn't have to be dealt with that kind of people at work, so I second what Moon said, report him if he ever does anything like this again.

[Joyce:)]

Yesterday night i was on a terrace with a friend, we had drank to celebrate the end of my exams and at one point he grabbed me, told me he really wanted to kiss me, came closer with his face and..i managed to avoid his kiss, telling him that I love my boyfriend and so on.
Not even ten seconds later, I texted my SO telling him what happened and telling him not to worry.
Persoanally, although he would never find out about the kiss, if i were you i would tell him. Long distance can work when there is trust, and for example, i think youìd rather know if a girl kissed your SO, instead of him not telling you.
Truth hurts, but relationships are founded on truth.
Explain to him that it was all your co worker, you didn't kiss him back and so on, he should be understanding, it's not like you wanted to cheat on him

[Yaaamiii]

Yesterday night i was on a terrace with a friend, we had drank to celebrate the end of my exams and at one point he grabbed me, told me he really wanted to kiss me, came closer with his face and..i managed to avoid his kiss, telling him that I love my boyfriend and so on.
Not even ten seconds later, I texted my SO telling him what happened and telling him not to worry.
Persoanally, although he would never find out about the kiss, if i were you i would tell him. Long distance can work when there is trust, and for example, i think youìd rather know if a girl kissed your SO, instead of him not telling you.
Truth hurts, but relationships are founded on truth.
Explain to him that it was all your co worker, you didn't kiss him back and so on, he should be understanding, it's not like you wanted to cheat on him

I'm going to have to agree with this. In my opinion, relationships are based on both trusting each other. If this had happened to my boyfriend, I would certainly want him to tell me. If you didn't kiss him back, then I wouldn't really consider that cheating.

[uniquefem]

I went to work again today. But the guy all sudden went to other town. Which is good. Made me feel stronger about setting boundaries. I have to work wth this guy for a project, thats why its complicated.
I want to b professional, and i just think he confuse as he just move to indonesia. Maybe there are things that i did made him think i feel something for him.

[uniquefem]

For sure i will tell hom i will report it of he did that or try to do so. I just cant resign from the project. And my SO?? He was on computer lab all night!! I will tell him but i dont know how he will react. While i was in germany he was a protective and jealous bf hahahah even jealous to a girl i met at porsche museum!! Thats why im worry this going to b bad! That he loose his mind and do bad things to our relationship!!

[uniquefem]

Thanks for all advise