Am I being too much for him or rushing him!!!!!

[Ikuna]

Hello everyone, am new here,please I need your advice, am 29 single mom African I met American guy 34 he is divorced we met on datting app.we are one month now,at first everything was fine, so happy and inlove,he accepted me as iam and I did the same ,but now I start to see difference like he is not texting me all the time we just talk on mornings video cal and sometimes at night if he is not working, because of time difference but am starting to have trust issues because he is not giving me attention like how we started and I even got mad at him and when he asked I told him the reason, he told me that he is not talking much because there's nothing new to talk about because we haven't met yet.and he is planning to visit me. My problem is how do I stop to act insecure and needy because I don't want to ruin our relationship I love this man and he accepted me as iam ,I know may be he has other things to do too or may be its true there's nothing new to talk about, but he cares and I know, I need a lot of attention and am insecure because we are so far so am scared, please be kind and help me,I don't want to loose him.. Sorry my english is not good but I tried,

[JonWhite]

Long distance relationships are never easy. I have been in one for 5 months with a girl in the USA (I'm in the UK). She's an incredibly beautiful 32 year old widow with a body to die for but I keep asking myself why she would want me, a 68 year old man? My head tells me that she isn't for real but then my heart says "What if she is for real?" It's good that you video call each other. My girl won't, she says she's too shy which is one reason why I doubt her. I don't really know how to help you other than to say hang on in there and that I wish you all the good luck and love in the world.

[Ikuna]

Thank you for your kind reply , I will hang on in there ,its not easy but I will.and about your lady I think you can try to talk with her it's been 5 months already so atlist she can try video calling you, I know she will like to be seing you everyday once she starts. Give her time until she is ready,I know you want to see her but give her time. And if you've been talking with her until now that means she loves you.wish you good luck too

[VeronicaDavis10]

Hello! It's understandable that you may feel insecure in a new relationship, especially when it's long-distance. However, it's important to remember that communication is key in any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings and fears. Ask him about his expectations and communicate yours as well.

It's also important to have some trust in your partner. If he says he is busy or doesn't have anything new to talk about, believe him. It's also a good idea to have your own hobbies and interests to keep you busy and not solely rely on your partner for attention.

Remember that a healthy relationship is built on trust, communication, and respect for each other's space and individuality. Keep an open mind and try to enjoy the journey of getting to know each other. Good luck!

[jenniferpearson78]

It has only been a month! It's still early, so it's natural that your communication might become less intense as you get used to your new routine. That doesn't always mean he's losing interest or something. Also, it sounds like he's still trying to keep in touch with you by video calling you, which is a good sign.

Also, the fact that he wants to come to see you shows that he is serious about the relationship. You should think about that and look forward to it instead of worrying about whether he's talking to you enough right now.

Focus on building your confidence and independence if you want to stop acting insecure and needy. Remember that you are a whole person with your interests and life and that a relationship should add to that, not replace it. Make sure you are working toward your own goals and doing things that make you happy.

Communication is important in any relationship, so don't be afraid to talk to your guy about how you're feeling if you're worried or unsure. Just make sure you talk to them in a calm way and don't point fingers. Remember that he is a person with his own feelings and needs, and try to listen as much as you talk.

Overall, try to chill out and enjoy the relationship for what it is right now. Don't stress out about it or yourself too much. And above all, be kind to yourself! No matter how things go with this guy, you deserve love and happiness.

[Austinmillo]

Hi Ikuna,
After reading you write up, I decided to chip in some word of advice. Here are a few suggestions to help you navigate these feelings and strengthen your relationship:
Find Balance: Understand that different phases of a relationship may come with different levels of communication. While the initial excitement often involves frequent messaging, it’s normal for things to settle down a bit. This doesn’t necessarily mean he’s any less interested.
Stay Busy: Engage in activities that make you happy and fulfilled. This will help you feel less dependent on his attention and more secure in yourself. Whether it’s spending time with friends, pursuing hobbies, or focusing on your career, staying busy can help reduce feelings of insecurity.
Plan for the Future: If he’s planning to visit you, focus on that positive development. Planning for future meetings can give you something to look forward to and help build your connection.
Remember, it’s okay to feel vulnerable and to seek reassurance from your partner. Building a strong relationship takes time, patience, and understanding from both sides. Stay positive and focus on the aspects of the relationship that are working well.