How to say no... without hurting feelings

[lucybelle]

I'm moving to my SO's country in one month. So of course I'm having a going away party! Well I sent out invites on facebook and somehow my sort of ex has found out. We were never in a relationship, we sort of messed around on and off until I admitted I was in love with another man (my SO).

Well he just sent me a facebook message asking me when the party is on Sunday. I was just going to ignore it when he sent me a text message too. Ugh. I think he knows where the house is because he's been once before. I didn't invite him. I don't want him there. I don't even know how he knows that it's on Sunday. It would make me extremely uncomfortable, especially since a lot of my friends know about our past.

How do I let this guy down easy??!! He's a nice once-in-a-while conversation via text or email friend, but that's about it.

[Malaga]

I think honesty is the best approach here. Just be polite and direct, tell him you appreciate that he'd like to say goodbye, but given the situation and your past together, his presence there would make you feel awkward. No hard feelings and it's nothing personal, but you'd prefer him not to come.

[Lina]

It would be hard to refuse him indirectly, you know - with a white lie, lol, so just like Malaga said, expressing directly your wish would solve everything in a clean way. Besides, you said that what has been between the two of you wasn't something big, so he won't feel hurt or left out, probably just a bit awkward (like any other person after being politely refused).

[BoogleBee]

I think the same as the people above already said. Just be honest and polite with him about your feelings. He wasn't actually invited so he shouldn't feel offended and you shouldn't feel bad about saying no to him.

[snow_girl]

Just tell him that you are only having a few close friends over and he's a dick for inviting himself along! lol okay maybe not but I wouldn't be too worried about telling him like it is. Like Booglebee said, he shouldn't be offended since he put himself in this position.