It's a no ):

[Hannahbaby16]

I've been trying for the past few months to get my SO to ask his parent's if he could come visit me for the first time, as we have not met yet.

So, I finally convinced him to ask his mom which he did and she said "Maybe, i'll have to ask dad"
Everyday since then, I would ask him and ask him if they had said yes or no and he would tell me his dad hadn't said anything yet.
Well, the other night he got sick of not getting a straight answer and went to ask his dad himself.

This was their conversation.

Kenny- "Daddddddddddd"
His dad- "What?"
Kenny- "Did mom tell you that i wanted to go visit someone?"
Dad- "Yeah. I told her no."
Kenny- "Whyyyyyyy?!"
Dad- "Because i dont want you going anywhere"
Kenny- "But, dad it's like really important! I wanna visit her!"
Dad- "You don't need anymore people in your life"

And then my SO walked away and called him an asshole and then he got yelled at and told he can't go out with friends anymore and needs to get a job.

-Sigh-
Our one year will be on the 14th.
We really wanted to see eachother.

[Zephii]

Just think - If he gets a job, and financial independance, they'll have less of a reason to say no. If both of you work hard and save up for this, and act like adults, you'll earn the right to be treated like adults.
One year isn't that much. Serious. It's a drop in the bucket that is your lifetime.
Just work hard, and work together, and you'll get there. Don't give up!

[Lina]

Aw, this sucks
I think that the parents' disapproval upon a LDR is a very stressful factor for both the persons in the couple. I guess it just needs some more time for his father to digest everything and if he sees that your relationship resists the test of time and distance, he'll eventually accept the situation as it is. And then everything will become better (referring to visits first of all). From what you said, it seems that his mother is OK with your relationship - this will help out, he has the support of one of his parents at least. Just have hope and stay strong

[morgan(:]

Are you both 18, or older? Because honestly if my young daughter/son wanted to go meet someone on the internet without me going I would be worried, too! Maybe if he raises the money himself, his dad won't say no. Is there anyway you can go see him? And I agree with Zephii, one year is nothing compared to a lifetime with him.

[lucybelle]

Not to lecture, but calling your dad an asshole is not a good way to get something from him. I think step 1 is apologize. Your SO should apologize to his dad and say he was just caught up in the moment. He should tell his dad he's going to start looking for a job so he can help pay to go visit you and would really appreciate any financial help his dad could provide. He should prove that he's mature enough to travel on his own to go meet someone. I think you're both 16, right? That's still pretty young, and I could understand why parents might be hesitant to let you travel by yourself.

Anyways, is there no way for you to visit him? Or meeting half way? Good luck and I hope you get better news soon!

[garnet]

Not to lecture, but calling your dad an asshole is not a good way to get something from him. I think step 1 is apologize. Your SO should apologize to his dad and say he was just caught up in the moment. He should tell his dad he's going to start looking for a job so he can help pay to go visit you and would really appreciate any financial help his dad could provide. He should prove that he's mature enough to travel on his own to go meet someone. I think you're both 16, right? That's still pretty young, and I could understand why parents might be hesitant to let you travel by yourself.

Anyways, is there no way for you to visit him? Or meeting half way? Good luck and I hope you get better news soon!

I think Lucybelle is spot on here. I second all of her advice.

[Sunbeam]

Just think - If he gets a job, and financial independance, they'll have less of a reason to say no. If both of you work hard and save up for this, and act like adults, you'll earn the right to be treated like adults.
One year isn't that much. Serious. It's a drop in the bucket that is your lifetime.
Just work hard, and work together, and you'll get there. Don't give up!

This.
It's harder for family to say no when they're not paying.
my family doesn't particularly like me meeting my SO... but i paid for it, so they don't get in my way.

[Moon]

To be honest, there's no way in hell I'd let my 16 or 17 year old do this either, at least not alone. Also, without him having a job, who was supposed to pay for the trip? You may want to see each other badly, but if you want to start being treated as young adults, you have to act that way, and your SO paying for his trip is a good start, since him seeing his girlfriend is not his parent's responsibility. I'm not trying to sound harsh, but that's the reality of it, and some things you really need to take into consideration in your relationship. You might be looking at another year or two before one of you can travel without parental permission, but if it's worth it, then just plan ahead and be ready when the time comes. Good luck, and I hope you can work something out so that it doesn't take too long.

[Caitlin2009]

honestly most of us waited a full year before seeing our SO's, things happen and come up that you cant control, and him calling his dad an asshole...no no no no that doesnt help things at all, that just made it worse. if you guys wanna see each other then save up your money to do so, that job might help ya both out. just be patient, it will happen when its meant to happen and you'll eventually see each other

---------- Post added at 01:48 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:46 PM ----------

Not to lecture, but calling your dad an asshole is not a good way to get something from him. I think step 1 is apologize. Your SO should apologize to his dad and say he was just caught up in the moment. He should tell his dad he's going to start looking for a job so he can help pay to go visit you and would really appreciate any financial help his dad could provide. He should prove that he's mature enough to travel on his own to go meet someone. I think you're both 16, right? That's still pretty young, and I could understand why parents might be hesitant to let you travel by yourself.

Anyways, is there no way for you to visit him? Or meeting half way? Good luck and I hope you get better news soon!

and i agree with all of that! no way would i let my 16 year old daughter off on her own to another state unless i was there to chaperone

[Minerva]

As a parent, I'd never let my under 18 child do this. You have to understand how scary this sounds to a parent: your 16 year old wants to travel 100's of miles to meet with someone they met online. I'd say "over my dead body!" There are so many predators online, it would just scare me to death.

For a bit of perspective, I'm in my mid-thirties, and last month I traveled to England to see my SO, and MY mom was against it at first, and she's MET him. It's just a parent's instinct.

And if he wants to come see you, he can't be swearing at his dad. All that says to his dad is that he's out of control and you're perhaps a bad influence on him. Talk about the quickest way to be forbidden to ever talk to you!

I sympathize, I really do. But if you want to meet, you both have to start looking at it through a parent's eyes. You both have to act like adults, and perhaps involve your parents so they don't think you're meeting psycho stalker killers online.

Good luck.

[Hannahbaby16]

Thanks everyone!

And to answer some of your questions. Yes, we are both 16.

My parent's are involved with this already. We were going to have him come on our family vacation. (They have both video chatted with my SO and they both approve) Maybe I should do the same?

I can also see from the parent's point of view. I wouldn't want my 16 year old going to meet someone I had never met myself.
But, it's not really an internet thing... He's my ex boyfriend's best friend.

Thanks again though guys and if it's meant to be, it will be.
We'll be together someday I just know it. <3

[Minerva]

*hugs*

I know this is hard, because LDRs are hard even if you don't have a lot of complications.

I think if you get both sets of parents involved, and both of you show maturity, his parents might eventually come around. That's the best course I can think of.

Whatever you do, don't try to sneak off and meet each other. Not sure if either of you is considering doing that -- but if you did, it could end up in a world of bad. Sorry if I'm off-base, but if it were me at 16, I'd be thinking about it! LOL

Take care and good luck.

[13000km]

My boyfriend and I are 21 and 20 but we both sought our parents' approval to meet in real life, exactly one year into the relationship. His parents had no issue about it, since I was the one coming to him, they just wanted to meet me. But my parents were hesitant, so we did everything in our power to help them be more comfortable with the idea knowing that ultimately, it was my decision because I was funding my own trip. I let my parents skype with him, our mums exchanged emails until they finally said, okay, but take care, and behave yourself, call us EVERY DAY!

Parents are so ready to think the worst when it comes to these things. The best way to get around this, IMO, is to keep them in the loop. Keep talking to them about you and the relationship to build up some trust. Good luck.

---------- Post added at 01:39 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:39 AM ----------

My boyfriend and I are 21 and 20 but we both sought our parents' approval to meet in real life, exactly one year into the relationship. His parents had no issue about it, since I was the one coming to him, they just wanted to meet me. But my parents were hesitant, so we did everything in our power to help them be more comfortable with the idea knowing that ultimately, it was my decision because I was funding my own trip. I let my parents skype with him, our mums exchanged emails until they finally said, okay, but take care, and behave yourself, call us EVERY DAY!

Parents are so ready to think the worst when it comes to these things. The best way to get around this, IMO, is to keep them in the loop. Keep talking to them about you and the relationship to build up some trust. Good luck.

[Hannahbaby16]

My boyfriend and I are 21 and 20 but we both sought our parents' approval to meet in real life, exactly one year into the relationship. His parents had no issue about it, since I was the one coming to him, they just wanted to meet me. But my parents were hesitant, so we did everything in our power to help them be more comfortable with the idea knowing that ultimately, it was my decision because I was funding my own trip. I let my parents skype with him, our mums exchanged emails until they finally said, okay, but take care, and behave yourself, call us EVERY DAY!

Parents are so ready to think the worst when it comes to these things. The best way to get around this, IMO, is to keep them in the loop. Keep talking to them about you and the relationship to build up some trust. Good luck.

---------- Post added at 01:39 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:39 AM ----------

My boyfriend and I are 21 and 20 but we both sought our parents' approval to meet in real life, exactly one year into the relationship. His parents had no issue about it, since I was the one coming to him, they just wanted to meet me. But my parents were hesitant, so we did everything in our power to help them be more comfortable with the idea knowing that ultimately, it was my decision because I was funding my own trip. I let my parents skype with him, our mums exchanged emails until they finally said, okay, but take care, and behave yourself, call us EVERY DAY!

Parents are so ready to think the worst when it comes to these things. The best way to get around this, IMO, is to keep them in the loop. Keep talking to them about you and the relationship to build up some trust. Good luck.

Thank you.

---------- Post added at 04:51 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:50 PM ----------

*hugs*

I know this is hard, because LDRs are hard even if you don't have a lot of complications.

I think if you get both sets of parents involved, and both of you show maturity, his parents might eventually come around. That's the best course I can think of.

Whatever you do, don't try to sneak off and meet each other. Not sure if either of you is considering doing that -- but if you did, it could end up in a world of bad. Sorry if I'm off-base, but if it were me at 16, I'd be thinking about it! LOL

Take care and good luck.

Haha, nah i'd never sneak off and meet him.
That's the kind of thing we like to just joke about. :