Big argument-Closing the distance and location :(

[Moon]

Love isn't always pretty, clean or convenient. It sounds like there's just no way he's going to be happy living where you live, so now you have to compromise. He's not going to learn to like it, or get used to it, he already knows he doesn't want to be there, and since he' the one doing the moving, you're going to have to respect that, and decide what to do about it. I'm not going to say you're lucky, or you should be happy about being in the same country, distance is distance, and sometimes it hurts, just like in an LDR. I'm close to my family too, and I have my daughter here, I know how you feel about not wanting to leave them It's really hard, but consider that this could be a deal-breaker for him, and what is more important to you, him or your proximity to your family and familiar surroundings? At least tell him you'll try it, you can always move back if it turns out that after a year or so, you're miserable. I think everybody should experience living far from home, even if it's only temporary, as it'll teach you how to fend for yourself and give you a bigger sense of independence. If you at least try it for a while, you'll have no regrets later, sitting around wondering "what-if". Good luck.

[FadedSunrise]

As everyone else has stated, try to keep an open mind, and be willing to compromise on these things. As well, try to remember that moves are not permanent, there is always the option to move back. I used to be exactly of your opinion, being resolutely attached to southern California and unwilling to leave it even for short periods. I almost didn't want to go abroad, because it would be 3 whole months in an unfamiliar place. But I came back happier, more confident, and with a desire for more adventure. Pushing your boundaries leads to great personal growth, IMO.

As far as my SO and I's situation goes, we know I'm not moving back to China. I'm going to get a law degree in the US, and those kinds of things are not transferable between countries. He is open to moving to the US, but definitely out of China, because he's not fond of it there either. Besides that though, if he finds he doesn't like California, I'm perfectly willing to try other states in the country. Heck, maybe even the East Coast, or 4 hrs by plane away from where I am now. One never knows what the future holds.

[weetzie]

We just decided on other cities that we both like, so we're both moving. I think it's much more fair that way.

[LilyChiba]

Good luck ^_^

[Tanja]

I know how you're feeling. Before we closed the distance I kept asking Andy could he see himself living here with me, in my house and in my village for the rest of his life and he always said yes, even though he admitted that he would find it hard to be separated from his family and friends. But he still said he'd do it.

After he moved here he almost instantly said that he will not be living in my house and home village forever, he wants to move near our capital city. I was completely shocked since I had always imagined that this is where we'll settle down and grow old. But he said he wants to have a great career and can't see it happening unless we move. Now, I HATE cities. I couldn't live in one. I've always loved the countryside and I've got a load of animals that I just couldn't take with me if we had to move. I'm truly heartbroken that he wants to do this and he's listed many reasons why he doesn't like it here and it's very hurtful to hear. All the things I love about this place he doesn't. Also I have a daughter whom I wouldn't want to tear apart from her family and friends.

I know he moved countries to be with me so I have no choice but to say yes. I can't say I don't want to move and sell my house and leave everything behind because he's done it for me. I've slowly tried to come to terms with the fact that one day we'll be leaving but it's very hard for me and I know I will be miserable for a long time after the move. But relationships require sacrifices and compromises and there's nothing we can do about it.

Maybe he could move to where you are now for a little while and then you could give it a shot living somewhere new together and see how it goes. Obviously there's always the chance of going back to LD if things don't work out but I doubt that's what you want to do.

Try to think that nothing is going to happen overnight and let yourself deal with the issue for a bit. You'd still be living in the same country than your family which is not too bad considering some other people's situations. Yes, it will be hard to leave but if you really wanna be with your SO and love him then you'll be happy with him no matter where you are.