Announcement

**garnet** · July 10, 2011, 08:14 PM

Is there some reason you can't be together now? Is it just that you want to meet first? Can you sort of make an arrangement that you don't see other people until after you meet, and see how that goes?

**Nate** · July 10, 2011, 08:22 PM

we wanna meet first before we start dating...
somehow we have kind of a silent arrangement not to meet with other people (well...we both know and we say this to each other that we aren't interessted in any other people)
but since we (or better her - i just...agreed :o) won't hold the other back from anything which would make her happy or give her the chance to develop herself...we don't have such an arrangement AND she doesen't want such one because she always says that she doesen't know if life makes a liar out of her then...

(she had a pretty shitty relationship 7 years ago and was/is single since then...maybe she has just..issues :o)

**Riyko** · July 10, 2011, 09:50 PM

by saying meet other people is pretty broad, i mean it could mean meet other people and make new friends or meet other people for dating. Honestly i think while i understand that you are jealous it's a bit much because while you two care a lot for each other, you aren't dating so the other can do what they want (harsh reality i know i deal with it from time to time).

Psst: randomness is random but this is post 666 for me XD

**Joyce:)** · July 11, 2011, 12:00 AM

When I left america after my exchange, my SO and I actually broke up, to then find out that we couldn't be without each other, even though we had decided to figure things out (aka be official or not, exclusive & such) during my visit in christmas. I was freaking jealous. He ended up kissing a girl 45 days before my visit (we had spent already 110 days apart) and I still think that it wouldn't have happened if i had been clearer about how i was jealous and i wanted to be his only one. He felt terrible about the kiss, so i didn't insist on complaining once it had happened.
Tell her you are jealous, it will make her feel more desired for sure. It's okay to be jealous with or without labels

**Zapookie** · July 11, 2011, 01:14 AM

I think you just need to be clear with her about how you're feeling. She isn't always going to be able to read your mind. The best thing here is communication. I believe it's too difficult to not be jealous. What you have kind of now, is like an open relationship. But the thing is, in open relationships, both parties agree that they will not have any jealousy/feelings towards other people. Obviously this is not the case here, therefore, it's not going to work. I don't see any harm in committing to each other. September is about 2 months away - that's not a huge part of your life to go without seeing/being intimate with anyone, when you know what's waiting ahead is going to be so worth it the time spent.

I am meeting my SO for the first time on the 21st of july. We became mutually exclusive in January because there was just too much jealousy flying around. And it made things so much easier. I was able to open up to him like I had never opened up to anyone before. There was no secrecy. There was no "hiding this - hiding that" to protect his feelings/stop him from becoming jealous. He was too scared to ask me outright to stop dating people and he was always very jealous when I told him about these things and I knew it hurt him. I didn't want to keep hurting him either, so I said to "you know, I'll commit to you because I know that's what you really want... but I only ask the same of you," and that was that. we still kept our relationship on the down low though.. only became "fb official" last week. :P

Announcement

jealousy advice!!

jealousy advice!!

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment