Distractions

[lucybelle]

I always felt so lucky. My SO doesn't play video games. We didn't have a TV. Which means I get all the attention all the time. But now he has discovered... The Sopranos... DUN DUN DUN!!!!

This means he is constantly downloading episodes and watching them constantly throughout the day. It gets to the point where we might be snuggling, and he'll get up to check on his download.

How do those of you whose SO's have time consuming habits deal with it? I've said a couple things to him, but he just shoves them off and says he barely ever watches it...

One of my biggest problems is I don't watch TV or play video games at all. I grew up without it so sitting and watching shows is not that appealing to me.

[NaNi]

I remember a time during our first visit where my SO was lying in bed with me, watching Torchwood. I wanted to cuddle and kiss her, but her reply? "You can do that in the ad break." OUCH. She feels really bad about that though and said that it won't happen again. It better not.

[Mara]

My SO likes to play video games, it's really his only hobby. I play sometimes myself, but I'm more of a bookworm. When he's playing games or doing something that he enjoys, I take that time to myself and usually read or focus on one of my other hobbies.

Don't worry..the Sopranos only has so many episodes

[Joyce:)]

Don't worry..the Sopranos only has so many episodes

I was just about to say this! My boyfriend plays with a few iphone apps when we are together, but i've just turned those games into competitions, where we try to beat each other's high scores, and we can compete even when we're long distance

[13000km]

I was just about to say this! My boyfriend plays with a few iphone apps when we are together, but i've just turned those games into competitions, where we try to beat each other's high scores, and we can compete even when we're long distance

My boyfriend takes MY iphone to play games on (he doesn't have one). /: I either take the phone away or do something else I guess.

[FadedSunrise]

I'm the one with the distracting hobbies(plural, yes hehe >_> kpop fan, sims 2, various rpg games on psp and nintendo DS, crocheting, photography, working out...heh), whereas he's the hard worker who's already had his fun when he was my age. Our previous fight was about this whole age difference and priorities thing. He was able to live away from home from a young age, and exercised his independence fully. I've never been away longer than the three months I was in China, and am a mustang pulling at her reins.

Basically, he told me straight up that it bothered him, and that it was no way to treat a boyfriend. I got the message, and it will not happen again.

The few times he's cancelled something of ours to go out though, I deal pretty easily, given as I'm the one with the hobbies. I just get wrapped up in something, and not feel guilty about it.

[kiara_silver]

lol i think this is common, i remember times when id be on wanting my SO's attention and hes playng a video game or doing something else, and its like "hey..... im here wanting you..." i think just communication on this, and just accepting it and letting them have there fun. But let them know sometimes u need to be there full focus. Now Nathan says he play his games during the times im asleep. so thats nice. its good to just let ur feelings be known

[Yaaamiii]

I always felt so lucky. My SO doesn't play video games. We didn't have a TV. Which means I get all the attention all the time. But now he has discovered... The Sopranos... DUN DUN DUN!!!!

This means he is constantly downloading episodes and watching them constantly throughout the day. It gets to the point where we might be snuggling, and he'll get up to check on his download.

How do those of you whose SO's have time consuming habits deal with it? I've said a couple things to him, but he just shoves them off and says he barely ever watches it...

One of my biggest problems is I don't watch TV or play video games at all. I grew up without it so sitting and watching shows is not that appealing to me.

Ohhh boy, this is perhaps my biggest pet peeve...he knows very well that it is, too. :P My boyfriend used to play this MMORPG game that I hated because he would do the same thing. It was even to the point where the day before we went long distance (ish), he went upstairs to his room to water his plants in the game. Yah, that upset me lol. He always has these phases though, where he gets really into something and seems to ignore me along with the rest of his surroundings xD lol. Its not so bad anymore...perhaps because I've gotten used to it...? I dunno. I would say most of my boyfriends habits are time consuming though. Not really a bad thing, but they can be sometimes. It doesn't bother me so much anymore cuz I work now so I do something and make money at the same time. Regardless, it still does upset me when he stays up all night and then when he is gonna spend time with me the next day, he's exhausted so he's either snappy or just falls flat out asleep. xDD lol oh my but I do love him so much, its hard to be furious with him sometimes. :P

[oukeying]

There is this one card game, Magic: The Gathering, that so many people in my dorm play, including my SO.

One time, my SO and I went to the mall and bought a whole bunch of ingredients to make brownies. I guess he must have bought some new Magic cards as well, because as we were waiting for the bus back to school, we were talking about how one of our friends had once mentioned that Magic: The Gathering had ruined a past relationship of hers. He said something along the lines of, "I won't let that happen to us."

After we got back to school, he left me in my room while he went upstairs to his room to check something real quick, before we'd bake the brownies. He'd be right down.

I waited for him for probably an hour, before I found him in a room down the hall, playing Magic: The Gathering. It had really upset me, because after he had just said "I won't let that happen to us," he had forgotten about our plans to make brownies together, and had gone off to play Magic: The Gathering instead. I was afraid that what had happened in our friend's relationship really could happen to us. But anyway, we're okay now.

He taught me how to play magic the next day, while the brownies were in the oven. But I'm not into it. That's usually how it goes with all of his gaming hobbies--I try to get into them, but I just can't. :P So, I usually just take that time to study and read.

[nicole]

My SO doesn't really have hobbies that take his time, but when we used to talk on skype, he'd sometimes put the TV on or do stuff on the internet, more often then not, when I was talking to him about something, trying to have a CONVERSATION, and I'd have to either repeat myself a couple of times or give up. It got to a point to where I was certain he was bored of me or something and I ended up bursting into tears about it. Needless to say we talked it out and he doesn't do that anymore! On the other hand I've been told off because the only time I'll go give him a kiss is in the commercials when I'm watching the Food Network... I have some fascination with it that I just can't describe... so yeah I have to work on that too!

Maybe just tell him, look it's ok to have an interest or hobby, but when you are snuggling or hanging out, it's not cool to just get up and walk off to check a download. He can do that another time. Or of course you can just turn it into something you watch together. I changed "Dr Who" and "Top Gear" into an "us" thing rather then a "me" thing- we get to hang out and snuggle as well as enjoy the show.

[amandamayaaa]

oh man. don't even get me started on this one! ha

when i first met my SO (online) i really had no idea he was THIS into video games. i remember he would play with his friend sometimes, but it didn't seem to be a lot. then when call of duty:black ops came out it changed drastically. we sleep on skype, and i would literally wake up at 6 am and see him playing already. it was so annoying!

i went through a stage where it REALLY bothered me and we would always start fighting about it because i would kind of attack him about the whole thing instead of talking it out. then i tried to talk to him about it in a more calm mature manner and say look, i really don't like when you're playing 24/7 or when we skype thats all you're doing. at the same time, we pretty much skype 24/7, so i have to understand that if we do that, he's going to want to do other stuff besides talk to me the ENTIRE TIME.

he then started planning certain times he could play, and then we would make sure we would plan little "date nights" where we didn't have any other distractions, and we would either talk, write letters, or watch a movie, but do it together.

it still bothers me because i'm not as into video games as he is so it just gets annoying sometimes. but i do like playing to a certain extent, and try and play with him when we're together. we just both have to compromise!

[meo]

My SO plays video games on a competitive level so he does have to take some time and practice.. I also play video games so I kind of understand. Personally, people need some type of distraction. Video games are his way to relax in a sense.. or it's more of his "down time".. and I completely respect that. Sure everyone wants 100% attention but if that's something he enjoys then why would I get mad, ya know? I believe some people can get really distracted and kind of block their SO out, but he doesn't do that to me, so I'm thankful there.

And if your SO seems to be into whatever hes into and you are just sitting/waiting there, then the best thing to do is just speak up and tell them what you are feeling.