Nervousness abounds

[folclor]

okay, so y'all have probably all heard by now that I bought my plane ticket (yay) I'm going to see Alex for the first time on May 29th (yay). I won't bore y'all with details and plans and all that sort of stuff...

Basically...I'm worried he won't feel the same way about me. I know, I know, it's probably a natural worry and there's no way that y'all can tell me one way or the other. I'm not looking to have my future told or my fortune read, it's just...I brought this fear up to him and his response was, "Well, you'll still have a good friend if nothing else." When I asked him if he thought he would feel the same way he said he thought he would or stronger. That helped a little... and we've been talking on video for 10 months, voice chatting for over a year and IMing for longer so we should have a pretty good grasp of personalities and whatnot and it shouldn't be too much of an issue. Still, I know there are at least a few couples on here who met online and then met in person. Did y'all have these fears? Do you know anyone who had this happen to them (as in, met and not felt the same way)? Should I just chill and not worry about it?

Thanks and sorry for making what could be such a silly, silly topic. ^^;;

[garnet]

Rane and I met online, and it took us 8 months to meet in person. I was scared to death. If I remember right, the nervousness didn't hit him until like the day before he left. We talked a lot about, what if the spark just isn't there? Its a heavy worry, and I know what you're going through. If you can, yes, chill, and don't worry about it. You can't change the outcome by freaking out right now. I think in more cases than not, it ends up the spark IS there for online couples meeting in person. He's right too, if by chance it isn't there for one of you, you still have a good friend that you get to see.

[Caitlin2009]

Do i have the fears?? Ohhhh yeah and then some, but deep down i know everything will turn out for the best. It's just normal jitters you'll be fine

[Gurl]

Billy and I met online. Our first meeting was a surprise, but even going for the second meeting I was nervous. I really felt a strong connection from the first bit of IM convo we had and wanted so much to have a chance with him LOL though we met a lot sooner than most do (we lived about an hours drive apart at the time) I think the same thing still holds. Just stuff the nervous deep down and use it as hyper engergy when you need a boost maybe

I am sure things will go well

[agentholli]

well i haven't met mine boyfriend yet, we met online, talking for a year and a half..and I fear this quite a bit. I think, what happens with all this talk and stuff about our future together and we meet and there is no spark? I WOULD BE DEVESTATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know deep down that there will be that spark, just thinking about it now, gives me butterflies...but i also believe this fear is super normal. I know there are ALOT of people who meet online and are just fine. You have been talking to him for a long time, you already know him, he knows you...the only thing I can see happening, is it getting soooooooo much stronger!!

[kasia516]

My bf and I met when I was in England, but we only dated for two days before I left. Then he came back to visit me a month later, and i was sooooo nervous he would get to know me better and wouldnt like me anymore! i thought it would be just awful to come all the way to canada to find out it wasnt going to work. i had only known him for a little over 2 months at that point. to be honest, 3 days before he came my feelings for him started fading. i knew our long distance relationship might not work out when we started it, and i knew that we would have to work at it a lot. and we talked everyday but he was just like any other boy to me. then when he came i was so nervous that the feelings i had for him might not return. luckily 5 min after seeing him again i completely forgot that i had ever not liked him. i havent seen him for 7 months now but we're still going strong. youve known each other for a long time, so you shouldnt worry about him maybe not liking you once you get to know each other more. your feelings can only get stronger =D

[BJL_Sweetheart1109]

I'd say it's nothing to be worried about. We met when he was on leave. And the first couple of visits I worried things "'wouldn't be the same." But things were always fine. If anything, better than before because during all that time apart we had become closer and fallen more in love with one another. I'd say he's still with you, he definitely sees something special there. If the two of you have pushed through the distance this far....I'd say you have nothing to worry about!

[So_Far_Away]

Almost every time we go for more than three weeks without seeing each other I get nervous! (it's usually only two, and that extra week is ENDLESS!!) It's really silly I know, but I can't help it! I think though, that the 'spark' is just a myth. I think if you're attracted both physically and mentally to a person, that's the spark.... Clearly you've got the brain thing down if you've been chatting online, and video chatting = the physical attraction. You have nothing to worry about

[Lumos]

I definitely had the exact same fear as you. I fell in love with my boyfriend before I even knew what he looked like ( I didn't really care because I liked him so much), and we had been talking on webcam for several hours a day for months before we met in person, so I was completely confident that I would like him just as much in person. However, I was terrified that he wouldn't like me :P

I don't really have any advice, I was never able to stop having the fear until my boyfriend told me he loved me to my face. I think it's pretty natural to be worried, just try not to focus on it too much. You've spent a good deal of time on webcam, and I assume you've shared pictures and stuff, so there's a very good chance that everything will work out just fine ^^

[folclor]

Thanks, all y'all. It helps to see things from people who met online and it worked out so far IRL. As I've said before, I'm not worried about not liking him. I know I love him, I'm just worried about what happens if he doesn't like me. ^^; But this has helped me think that may be silly to worry about. Thanks a lot. ^^

[Bluestars]

I met my boyfriend online. We were both really shy at first when we met, but after a while we loosened up It turns out, we both worried about the same thing, but our attraction was definitely there!

I have had friends who have met up with people they met online and the chemistry wasn't there in person. For example, I went with one of my friends to meet up with a guy that she had known online for a week. They had talked for hours on end every night on AIM, but when they finally met, it was a disaster! The guy said he was shy, but we didn't think it would be that bad. He wouldn't talk at all! She never talked to him again.

I really think you just shouldn't worry about it because it won't change anything. Yes, chemistry is important and is sometimes hard to predict, but you guys must have something right going on if you have been talking for this long Plus, you guys have talked on webcam, so that is closer to real life Just know that it is possible to meet someone online and it work out fine! The people on here are proof of it!

[Tusenskona]

Ehh! See my boyfriend I we webcam allllllllllll the time. ALL the time.. or somethin' like that but my webcam isn't the most detailed webcam and it bugs me. Like you can't see my scars and so on x_x and it bugs me like if he sees them and he's like discouraged by them? So yeah I'm always..always worrying when we meet he won't like me XD cause of my faults.. flaws that he can't seem to see on photos cause I cover them up or on webcam because it just doesn't even show. Soo... yeah. i know how you feel though it's probably for other reasons :P

[xsomanymilesx]

i understand your worries, i worry too... but i know that our love can do anything, as cheesy as it sounds, and even if you cant feel the spark at first, remember how nervous you both will be feeling
i am SO excited for you, meeting in person, makes me daydream of the day i will be meeting him !!!

[agentholli]

As I've said before, I'm not worried about not liking him. I know I love him, I'm just worried about what happens if he doesn't like me. ^^; But this has helped me think that may be silly to worry about. Thanks a lot. ^^

I worry sooo much about this part. I keep saying to him, what if you don't like me in person. He responds with. "What happens if you don't like me?" I say.."That won't happen, seeing you in person is just going to make it super better" He then says "Well, I feel the same way" soo I am saying that you know you love him and you're not worried about not liking him..he probably feels the same way.