I'm clueless...

[mkb]

My boyfriend and I just made a year on the 12th ! (yay) We finally met near the end of May and I loved every second I spent with him. When we were together I felt so happy, butterflies & all; at the same time I was completely comfortable around him ! But..ever since he's left there's been these arguments. I can't really explain them maybe I'm to sensitive? I'm the type of girl who likes to talk things out....but if we ever begin to argue he's the type to say 'drop it' I know a few weeks ago we were arguing and I was getting so sick and tired of everyone fussing at me (including parents) and around the same time a few of my friends asked me to go out with them bowling...but I left him sitting there which was probably the wrong choice since now I know he spent the whole time I was gone upset because 'I left him when he needed me the most' but i fee like he only needs me when i plan something else. This is because last week I was talking to my friend Kayla and we decided to hangout tomorrow, I told him about it the night I knew. now tonight and lastnight he's been talking about not having anyone there for him except me and when i go he'll just be 'sitting home crying'...I really haven't done much at all this year to be honest since January this is the 4th time I've done anything other than sit home and talk to my Boyfriend on webcam or go to work. I'm stuck I don't know what to do. I hate these little arguments ! I want to go tomorrow but at the same time he needs me ? wergiuweg help ?!

[snow_girl]

I don't think you should stop going out with your friends. You can't be pent up feeling guilty about going out. Explain to him that you need this time with your friends and that it doesn't mean you are ditching him and that maybe he should go out with some friends as well. If he doesn't like it, tough shit. You can't sacrifice your life because of the guilt he causes, its not fair.

[mkb]

He's the type of guy to give up everything just to be with me...so it's a tough place. I love him so much&I dont like him upset. As far as the arguing goes idk how to explain to him I like to talk things out because everytime I try he thinks I'm just causing nd argument and kind of raises his voice and tells me I do it all the time. I'm not trying to sit here and make him sound like a bad person because he isn't I just don't know how to show him I just want to talk it out without him thinking I'm trying to start anything.

[nicole]

Maybe write it all out in an email or a letter and send it to him? If there is a problem with my SO, sometimes we turn our cameras off on skype and just type out what we're feeling/thinking and talk it out that way- it does help sometimes.

I think you should go out with your friends too. It's not like you do it often, and it's not fair of him to make you feel bad about it. I don't go out much either, but my SO is always pretty happy when I go out- seeing your friends doesn't mean you are leaving him in the lurch, and you did give him plenty of warning too. Doesn't he have someone else to hang out with, or a hobby he could be doing when your out? It's not healthy to make you sit at home and talk to him all the time- you need some time apart or you'll drive each other crazy!

[Riyko]

Honestly go and have fun (as harsh as this maybe) he'll get over it and how he's acting it's really not fair to you, you tell him your plans and instead of being happy that you are going to hang out with friends, he pulls the sympathy card to try and make you feel bad and to keep you into staying at home, so he won't be alone, when during that time he could be doing this own thing or hanging out with his own friends ect. (I don't know your relationship or even your guy, but from my experience that could be a red flag in the emotional controlling sense).

[Mara]

He's the type of guy to give up everything just to be with me

Okay, I don't mean to sound harsh at all, but this is the best way I can put this, he needs to get a life outside of you. You cannot be his whole life, you cannot be the only person he counts on or has in his life, and it sounds like right now you are or else he wouldn't get so upset about you going out. Giving up your life for him or him giving up his life for you is extremely unhealthy.

First and foremost, I think you need to talk about that with him. I think you need to be firm in what you say and direct. If he tries to start an argument about it with you, tell him you aren't going to argue with him and don't, even if that means stop talking to him until he cools down. He needs to understand that you can't be each others whole lives. You deserve to be able to go out with your friends and he should do the same.

[mkb]

We've talked about this and also thanks for all of the advice because it gave me alot of ways to approach him about the subject. Now we are much better.
Just wondering for a little more advice on breaking news to my dad...all my life I've worked my butt off to get into college. Kept good grades and now in 2 weeks I'll be entering my senior year of highschool. When my boyfriend left in June we decided it would be better for us for me to move there and go to college. Like i said though I worked towards getting into getting into a college here and the state would pay my tuition because of my gpa and act score... But this is a completely different state. Talking about moving 12 hours away from my parents. My dads the controlling type. My mom on the other hand knows already and told me she would miss me but knows I would be happy there. I just do t know how to tell my dad ( my parents are divorced by the way, and hardly ever speak) oh and I'll turn 18 in march. So I'll be 18 before wanting to move in may. I just don't want my dad to have anything against me ormy boyfriend...help ?!

[Kat Marie]

Well, first of all, your SO sounds emotionally controlling/abusive. Telling you that he'll be sitting at home crying if you go out with your friends? And you haven't been out except a few times since January?! I don't understand this behavior. As for the moving to be with him: First of all, I hope that you've thought it through thoroughly. Are you doing this for your SO? Or for you? Do they have a program that meets your educational needs? Will he let you make friends there? If you were to break up, would you be able to handle living 12 hours away from home? These are questions you have to ask yourself. It sounds like he's looking out for himself, and not for you. That's not how it should be. You should both be looking out for each other. Talking to your dad might be tough. He probably is going to want to know a lot. If you have it all planned out, and can answer all of his questions about it, then you should be okay. Approach him like an adult, have strong answers ready for him - why you're doing it (not just "because my boyfriend lives there", college isn't about boyfriends, it's about education - have a legitimate answer), how much it will cost you and how you plan on paying for it (give him real answers, the more he knows you researched into it the more he'll know that you're serious and that you took a meaningful approach), and any other details you think he'll need to know. Just make sure you're doing it for you and your education.