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I think I could be being a betch >.>

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    I think I could be being a betch >.>

    First off I'll say that since I've been with my SO I have painfully increased my patience tolerance trying to be more understanding than I already was.

    1.) I noticed that when we talk regularly, not every day or anything but maybe once I week I feel better about him. I feel bubbly and all lovey and dovey and stuff
    But I think we haven't talked for like 2 months, we text sometimes earlier I would text him or reply to his texts when I got them and he'd take forever to reply back to me, saying he doesn't carry his phone with him or he forgot it or whatever, so I accepted it and I pretty much started doing the same thing (not leaving my phone or anything) but replying to his text when I felt like it or taking my time replying back to him sometimes for a couple of hours because thats what he would do
    Now that I've noticed when we dont talk, I dont stop loving him or anything but I guess its more out of sight out of mind and I get distant and he's like well why aren't you answering my text messages like you used to? And I called him last night, he said he was busy but he would talk to me anyway so I was like oh his usual 20 min conversation. So he talked about what was happening to him .... I listened and commented then I guess it was like 45 minutes had passed and he was like well I need to go. I said .... okay then and he's like your not mad are you? Im not mad I was annoyed and I told him and he said he has things to do and I understand Im not asking him to devote 8 hours a day or even a week to me on the phone. But we dont talk nearly enough for me to think we have a connection anymore. So I told him that I felt like we were getting awkward because I used to be really comfortable with him and able to open and talk to him, now Im like well he's gonna hang up in like 3 mins so I'll just brace myself for it and get really quiet while he talks (I think he likes the sound of his own voice) And because we actually talk to infrequently i dont think he knows anythings thats going on with me besides the things I text him to get his attention.
    Anyway >.> I let him go and like a few minutes later I hopped on my xbox and he was on there playing Full House Poker .... and I just got really pissed because he said he was busy.
    So Im like full house poker (with pretend money) is more important than talking with me so I sent him a text that said "good job!" and he texted me back asking me what I meant and I ignored him because I was just too pissed to talk to him and then I muted my phone when he called. Im probably being a bitch, but I get so angry sometimes
    Im starting to think maybe I dont need a bf at all right now. Am I asking for too much attention or something?

    #2
    Hold on, hold on, the guy doesn't have an actual conversation with you in like two months, when you call him, he says he's busy but then talks for 45 minutes about himself, then hangs up to go on Xbox, and you ask if you're being a bitch?? The short, sweet and simple answer is NO!!!

    I usually think people are way too needy, whiny and demanding, but honey, I think you need to be MORE of those things! What good is a boyfriend who won't even talk to you? You might as well be single. There are tons of guys out there who won't mind paying attention to you, you don't deserve being ignored, which is basically what's going on here. When you love someone, you want to connect and be in tune with them, and I think you need to let him know that you deserve someone who wants to, not has to, spend some time together. Don't let him get away with this behavior, let him know things are going to change immediately, or there is no more relationship - and mean it.

    Never, ever think you are a bitch for asking to be treated properly.
    Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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      #3
      Couldn't agree more with you Moon.

      This guy needs to be told how neglectful he's being. You tried to give him a taste of his own medicine and it didn't work, you need to try the direct approach. Be prepared to walk away, you don't deserve to be in a relationship thats only half assed on his part.
      As long as there is air in my lungs... there is a chance

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        #4
        Agree 100% with Moon.

        I think it's healthy for couples to have away time, to have their own hobbies and friends and interests outside of the relationship, yadda. But to go so long without talking and then he gets off the phone to play a video game?

        That's not a boyfriend, that's an acquaintance. And not a very thoughtful one at that.

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          #5
          I agree with everyone above. You guys need to be communicating more than once every couple of weeks. At the same time, it probably would have been a good idea to talk to him about your feelings earlier. Playing games like "well if he's not going to respond to my texts quickly, I'm just going to ignore his for a day or two" only further damage a relationship. I know it's tempting with guys sometimes to "give them a taste of their own medicine". I've been guilty of this, but it's really not a healthy or constructive way to deal with the problem.

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            #6
            Originally posted by kaitycat View Post
            I agree with everyone above. You guys need to be communicating more than once every couple of weeks. At the same time, it probably would have been a good idea to talk to him about your feelings earlier. Playing games like "well if he's not going to respond to my texts quickly, I'm just going to ignore his for a day or two" only further damage a relationship. I know it's tempting with guys sometimes to "give them a taste of their own medicine". I've been guilty of this, but it's really not a healthy or constructive way to deal with the problem.
            ^This. And what Moon said. I don't think you're being a b**** at all, I think you have a right to be frustrated and angry at him. Not talking for 2 months at a time isn't a relationship either. I feel he's taken for granted that you'll always be there. You need to have one serious talk with this guy, and make sure to bring up the xbox thing and all. That's just not cool.

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              #7
              No, you aren't asking for too much attention. He's taking you for granted. It's time for a very direct conversation with the boyfriend because it sounds like you haven't really addressed this issue which I can understand you not having the time to do so since he can't make time to talk to you. I think you just need to tell him outright that you need to talk to him more than you currently are. Tell him how much communication you need. I would also bring up how he monopolizes the conversation at times. He can't meet your needs unless he knows what they are and he does sound a bit clueless, no offense.

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                #8
                Thanks I'll try to talk to him whenever I can get a hold of him

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                  #9
                  Just a thought, maybe the fact he's so talkative about himself on the phone is because you're so quiet? Then of course, you become quieter, he becomes more talkative to fill the silence, etc. etc. etc.
                  It sounds like he's reached the comfy stage in the relationship, where he doesn't feel the need to check in as much, which is annoying for us because we miss the standard of communication we had before!
                  Maybe I've misinterpreted it completely, but that was my thought.

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                    #10
                    You should tell him exactly what you told us. You deserve a guy who is going to want to talk/be with you just as much as you want to be with him.

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                      #11
                      ditto to what Moon said!! he could have at least been honest with you and said he was wanting to play a game, but 2 months of hardly any talking?? whats the reason for that? i can understand if he's busy and can maybe talk for a half hour every day but thats just rediculas, defiantly have a very long and loud convo with him!

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