Arguments

[Yaaamiii]

How do you guys handle arguments? I've been worried so much about this because my boyfriend and I are so stubborn and neither of us like to budge. We dated for about 3 months close distance, then went LD for a year, then closed the distance temporarily for a year, and now we're gonna go back to LD for about 3 years before we finally close the distance for good. We argued a lot while we were LD, as it was a new thing for the both of us. The second time around, I'm pretty sure we won't argue as much, especially because we've gone through the LD before and better understand what to expect...but still, the both of us are very stubborn and don't budge when we argue. And after we've both cooled off we realize how stupid the argument was to begin with.

Anywho, I guess I'm looking for a new method to handle arguments? I really don't want to argue over stupid things...especially because if we argued while we were CD, a silly face or a joke would make the argument go away as quickly as it came. And then there were hugs involved. But now that we're going LD again, that won't exactly be there anymore.

[NaNi]

I still have to learn this as well. To not care about the little things. But it's just so easy when being LD. My SO and I do fight from time to time and it's horrible. We try not to, but when we do we're both just too stubborn and simply stop talking to each other for a while. We're working on it though. We don't have these problems CD.

[Zapookie]

Both me and my SO are stubborn too.. but we're both learning to not be so hard headed when it comes to arguing, and one person being right, the other wrong etc. Sometimes you just have to suck up your pride and say sorry, or just try to make the situation right, even if you don't want to. There's no point in arguing over trivial things, and I think once you work through it, your bond becomes a lot stronger. This is what I have found, anyway

[London-FortCollins]

1) Never ever hang up on the other person
2) Look to yourself. Really look hard and question yourself with this: "What is more important? My pride or the love I have for my SO?"
3) Try and learn how to take a deep breath and let things slide
4) For the things you cant let slide but arnt that important in the long run, have a phrase that both of you use to let the other person know thats not ok, but you want to avoid a row. "I dont appreciate XYZ being said. That upset me" (or whatever) when you or your SO hears that, know to just swiftly apologize nad move on.

None of this is foolproof. Me and my SO are still working on this kinda stuff and we've been LD for 18 months. But we're getting there.

Ultimately it comes down to just trying to keep things in perspective. Good luck!

[Caitlin2009]

i have an issue with starting most of them...ooopsie, i dont like to back down because i know or least i think i know im right(which never is the case lol) but eventually i do because im wrong and i dont wanna drag a fight out all day, thats just not healthy eventually we just drop it and go a little silent at first cause were still pissy but after that things go back to normal

[Yaaamiii]

I'm definitely gonna have to start working on those things. I know I need to learn to not be so stubborn sometimes, it tends to hurt the relationship more as LD than it does as CD.

[mickey's bird]

I am also stubborn but I don't like arguing with my partner. After an argument, we would take a few minutes to calm down and then call/text each other about the situation. I try to fight fair and usually wait until I am calm before discussing whatever it is that's bothering us.

[rivi87]

My husband and I usually get along very well. I can only count on one hand how many times we have really fought. I like to avoid confrentation and esp still being mad when we are done talking to I try to resolve it. Usually it has to do with him being cranky and tired :P I can think of twice where it wasnt resolved and it took most of the next day to hear from him. Then we just talk and make up. Worked well so far.