What to do?

[yayagrl]

I've been in an LDR with a guy I've met over Facebook for almost 4 months now. He's a great guy really sweet and nice. My problem is for the past 4 to 5 weeks the amount of conversation between us has dwindled. I try to keep things going by thinking of random questions, but that only makes the conversation a little better for a short period of time, then it's back to silence. Also we've only been talking on Facebook for like the past 2 or 3 weeks because he 1) can't keep up with his phone and 2) because I'm back in school after summer break and we're normally both too tired to talk on the phone (he has a 4 year old so if you have kids I'm sure you know how tiring that can be). My question is what can we do to spice up the relationship a little? I know about Skype already, but currently his financial situation he can't get a web cam right now We need to do something soon because I feel like we're going to be falling apart or I'm going to lose interest and I don't want either to happen

[NaNi]

You don't need a webcam to have a wonderful conversation! My SO only has limited broadband so we often only talk, without seeing each other. I love closing my eyes and just being able to listen to her beautiful voice. Did you look up the "1000 questions for couples" ebook? My SO and I also pick random questions from it. You could also send him a care package or a love letter? How about ecards? Anything really!

[yayagrl]

Maybe I should've said we need more things to actually do and not really talk about? Hmm sometimes on the phone I'll have absolutely nothing to say and he won't either, but on FB I come up with so many questions. We either talk or we have silence. I think the better question is I want him to open up more and talk and ask me stuff

[Lina]

I think the better question is I want him to open up more and talk and ask me stuff

Be spontaneous, ask whatever comes to your mind, small curiosities you might have. In the beginning of my LDR I also felt at times that the conversation is dying and I couldn't help but think everything will "wither", but I said to myself :"If you were together in the same room, wouldn't you want to know all the small things about him? As if you've known him since...ever?". So I began asking him about his childhood, his most pleasant moment so far or the most embarrassing one, the first kiss and so on (I answered the questions,too). Things which make you chat looong time, laugh and get to know each other better You can also try questions from "1000 Questions for Couples" as NaNi suggested.

Also if you find something funny/interesting while browsing the internet you can link it to him, you can't know what a interesting convo can begin from just a funny video (I've done this -sharing a really funny cats video with him- and we began chatting about the most random thing just cause the video reminded him about it.). I hope this makes sense, lol. Anyway, the point is to connect with him And wow, this is a long reply XD

[Zapookie]

Does he ask you questions back? Or is it just you doing all the inquiring? For a relationship to work, its gotta go both ways. Also don't be afraid to ask him where you two stand in your relationship. If he isn't willing to open up, then I'm not sure what you can do. A guy who doesn't want to open up emotionally isn't really relationship material. You can't get close to, and grow with someone if they're not willing to get close or grow with you. You need to be open with each other about your feelings, whether they be good or bad. Communication is key.

[Zephii]

Doing things seperatly together, if you can. When we were long distance we'd cook together (or I'd cook, seeming he didn't have a laptop and he'd read to me, and then we'd eat together) or we'd shower/bath together (careful of water and electronics of course). We'd clean house together.
Keeping updated on the news will give you things to talk about and make you more worldly. Or, pick a moral situation and talk it over, that can be lots of fun and you learn about each other.
In four months there's no way you've truly run out of topics

Also, you can't make him ask you questions or make him make it more interesting, aside from telling him "hey, you're being slack, it's your turn". All you can do is really make it interesting for both of you

[yayagrl]

Loving the advice! Zephii you pointed out a few things I hadn't thought of, thanks! I don't think we've run out of things to ask because there is plenty I don't know about him. Honestly he started the relationship with me. I wasn't really looking as I'd just gotten out of a 9 month LDR (my current ex and reason I joined this site). We started as friends playing a game on facebook and then he just came out one day and said he loved me. That was like 2 months in. I really like him and he's nice and all that good stuff. it's just hard because I know he's shy and I'm shy as well. I just think sometimes, since he's more experienced (we have an age gap of 14 yrs), he's a bit worried about scaring me off or something. Sometimes I feel like I'm just not being patient enough and letting things go the way they should. He's a really laid back guy and I'm a bit more looney. Also I'm his first LD relationship so I'm pretty sure he's more skeptical about things sometimes than I am. Also I can come up with random questions, but if I ask him he'll just say I'm not good at randoms or IDK. Also Lina, there's no such thing as a long response