I'm having a hard time letting go of the anxiety I feel with the changes that my boyfriend is making in his life. Not only is he making a major career change which will significantly impact our ability to spend time talking and I suspect the time we spend visiting each other as well, but he's moving.
The moving thing has to happen. He's ashamed of where he lives and I have been respecting his boundaries by not going there and allowing him to find somewhere new to live so I can visit him where he lives. We've been together for over three months now (officially) and we've had feelings for each other longer - he's known this whole time that he'll have to move in order to fully gain my trust, but he still hasn't made what I would call significant steps towards it.
He finally went to go look at apartments and found some he likes, and while I was expecting him to say he signed a lease right then, I wasn't expecting to hear that it'll take him a few more months to be able to move.
I understand that moving costs money but I feel so excluded from his life. I want to be able to go see him, not just have him come see me. We see each other enough about once a month and I feel so blessed to have that, I really do, but I also REALLY want to go see him, meet his dog ... finally feel like his girlfriend, not someone he comes on vacation and gets to have sex with.
Not that I really feel that way, that's just the anger talking. I don't have any reason not to trust him, but this issue, me not being able to go there is a major hurdle in our relationship, if not the biggest obstacle. I know he wants to show me a place he can be proud of, and I respect that, I really do, but I still feel majorly excluded from his life.
So many people tell me this is a major red flag, but I actually understand his point of view, and it has nothing to do with him having a girlfriend, being married, or wanting to hide something and everything to do with his own personal pride and him having none in where he lives now.
It's just hard for me not to get stressed out and anxious about our whole relationship when I can't go see him. I don't know how long he expects me to wait and put up with this for. We got into an argument about it and he asked me to "throw him a bone" all I could say was that I've thrown him plenty and now it's his turn. He says he'll be moved out in September but I have no faith.
The moving thing has to happen. He's ashamed of where he lives and I have been respecting his boundaries by not going there and allowing him to find somewhere new to live so I can visit him where he lives. We've been together for over three months now (officially) and we've had feelings for each other longer - he's known this whole time that he'll have to move in order to fully gain my trust, but he still hasn't made what I would call significant steps towards it.
He finally went to go look at apartments and found some he likes, and while I was expecting him to say he signed a lease right then, I wasn't expecting to hear that it'll take him a few more months to be able to move.
I understand that moving costs money but I feel so excluded from his life. I want to be able to go see him, not just have him come see me. We see each other enough about once a month and I feel so blessed to have that, I really do, but I also REALLY want to go see him, meet his dog ... finally feel like his girlfriend, not someone he comes on vacation and gets to have sex with.
Not that I really feel that way, that's just the anger talking. I don't have any reason not to trust him, but this issue, me not being able to go there is a major hurdle in our relationship, if not the biggest obstacle. I know he wants to show me a place he can be proud of, and I respect that, I really do, but I still feel majorly excluded from his life.
So many people tell me this is a major red flag, but I actually understand his point of view, and it has nothing to do with him having a girlfriend, being married, or wanting to hide something and everything to do with his own personal pride and him having none in where he lives now.
It's just hard for me not to get stressed out and anxious about our whole relationship when I can't go see him. I don't know how long he expects me to wait and put up with this for. We got into an argument about it and he asked me to "throw him a bone" all I could say was that I've thrown him plenty and now it's his turn. He says he'll be moved out in September but I have no faith.
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