Whats cheating?

[kiara_silver]

Okay so this has nothing to do with me and my SO. Just curious what do you consider emotional cheating. Is that even such a thing? Does it just have to be physical to cheat on someone?
We were watching a movie and they were talking online together, and i wasn't fully paying attention what was going on (nathan was side tracking me... lol) but i was asking who that guy was and nathan said it was her husband, and so i was like then why is she falling and talking to the other guy? And he said that there having a online fling. So is that cheating?

Just curious whats all your opinion on this subject, whats considered cheating to you. If you talk to someone and care for someone else whats going to far? lol idk, just some thoughs

[mkb]

I suppose it is different in every relationship. Specially in a LDR. In mine, we hardly speak to the opposite sex. Obviously we have to at times whether it's an old friend or even someone sayin hello and you're not wanting to be rude, or at work...etc But I wouldn't ever constantly text or chat with another guy. Not because it's cheating nescessarily but because it just causing worrying even if you're trusted.

[bluishskin]

No, it doesnt have to be physical. Emotional cheating exists, and it can lead to physical if the person is not strong enough. During our LDR I sometimes chat with some guys, but they are all my friends and I've told my SO about them. We trust each other.
Emotional cheating is when you're getting too close to a different guy/girl. Too close because you allow him/her to touch you emotionally. When you're in a relationship (particularly a serious one), a fling (online or not) is considered as cheating.
At least that's my opinion.

[Rosebud]

Emotional cheating is a difficult level. If you find yourself talking to someone else and harboring feelings for them-I think in the very beginning it's not considered cheating because you don't have control over your emotions and you may not even realize it at first. However, it's once you make that realization that you care for this other person, it's the decision you make from that point that defines whether or not you are emotionally cheating. Do you continue to talk to this person and indulge in your feelings and perhaps fantasies of being with them? Or do you realize that you truly love your SO and put a little distance between yourself and this person. This doesn't men cut off all contact with them, but a healthy distance to clear your head and realize why you're in the relationship you're in. But it's this choice, I feel, that can help lead the way through that very hazy subject of emotional cheating.

[bluishskin]

If you find yourself talking to someone else and harboring feelings for them-I think in the very beginning it's not considered cheating because you don't have control over your emotions and you may not even realize it at first. However, it's once you make that realization that you care for this other person, it's the decision you make from that point that defines whether or not you are emotionally cheating. Do you continue to talk to this person and indulge in your feelings and perhaps fantasies of being with them? Or do you realize that you truly love your SO and put a little distance between yourself and this person.

Ah this is definitely better said. I agree.

[BoogleBee]

Well to me an online fling is most definitely a type of cheating. It may not be physical but it is certainly emotional cheating if they are having intimate conversations. Since my SO and I met online to say that online fling is not cheating ti saying it is not really an issue which would imply that my relationship with my SO, built online is not as meaningful as CDR. If that makes sense?

[leonsfangirl]

Oh hell yes!

I was emothionally cheating on my husband with my now SO.( I know it's shitty and theres no excuse but thats how it happened) I wasn't getting what i needed from my husband and my SO filled that void, started off as a sexual need then progressed very quickly to the emotional side of it too. To me, emotional cheating is far worse as there are strong feelings and a bond that should purely be reserved between partners.

[kteire]

Well, I've only been cheated on physically, but I definitely believe an emotional affair is the most damaging to a relationship. My dad had an emotional affair with a horrible woman (I say that because she's actually a terrible person, not because of the affair lol), and eventually he left my mum for her. I think anything where you're choosing to confide in someone other than your SO about things you'd normally talk to them about, and choosing to form an emotional bond with them instead of strengthening the one you have with your partner is cheating. I know I'd be very hurt if my SO was talking to anyone else about the things that we talk about, even if they weren't physically involved.

[Mara]

An online affair is definitely cheating. Talking to someone and forming an emotional connection to that person beyond what it should be, that's a gray area in my book. I don't think it's something anyone does on purpose. It just starts off as a friendship and then sometimes you develop feelings for that person. Acting on or speaking to that person about those feelings is a totally different thing, but just having them happens at times just accidentally.

When I met my SO my ex and I were broken up. We reconciled, but I was still maintaining contact with my SO (we were just friends), but I developed feelings with him, decided I didn't want to give him up, and broke up with my ex. My SO and I never really said anything inappropriate to each other. We were just really good friends and feelings developed on both sides so much so that I broke up with someone I had been with for three years, three weeks after meeting my SO. [there were other factors, but my SO was a huge one.]

Now though, I don't really have any friends of the opposite sex that I took to regularly or in-depth and I'm not looking to have any. The same goes for my SO.

[amackin]

leonsfangirl, totally relate to your situation. Same situation occured here...

[Engel]

kind of off topic but what was the movie? i now got curious to watch it, lol

[NaNi]

Yes, having an "online fling" certainly is cheating. I think most couples that met online would agree on that. You meet someone, get to know them and then suddenly there's more. That's why I wouldn't like it if my SO would go on chat rooms and type to random people. Especially not if it's the same person over and over again. I also do consider cybersex as cheating. Why wouldn't I? When my SO and I had cybersex for the first time it was something really special - something I knew I wouldn't do with a different person again.

[Yaaamiii]

Well, I've only been cheated on physically, but I definitely believe an emotional affair is the most damaging to a relationship. My dad had an emotional affair with a horrible woman (I say that because she's actually a terrible person, not because of the affair lol), and eventually he left my mum for her. I think anything where you're choosing to confide in someone other than your SO about things you'd normally talk to them about, and choosing to form an emotional bond with them instead of strengthening the one you have with your partner is cheating. I know I'd be very hurt if my SO was talking to anyone else about the things that we talk about, even if they weren't physically involved.

I agree with this I never let myself get close to any guy other than my SO because I know its a remedy for hurt. I actually know someone though who broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years because they would have to be long distance in order to stay together. She said forget it, because to her, even talking to another girl would have been cheating. I thought that was a little overboard but yah xD. Anywho, like kteire said, confiding in a different person, letting your guard down in that way, I would consider emotional cheating.

[Engel]

Well to me an online fling is most definitely a type of cheating. It may not be physical but it is certainly emotional cheating if they are having intimate conversations. Since my SO and I met online to say that online fling is not cheating ti saying it is not really an issue which would imply that my relationship with my SO, built online is not as meaningful as CDR. If that makes sense?

yes i think like you. online thing is something as there was a point that it was all i had with my so. so i very much consider emotional cheatting cheatting.

[7hours]

I definitely consider an emotional affair cheating. It is also how my SO and I got together. It's not something I'm at all proud of and wish that we had met under different circumstances...but it's what happened. I can't change it. There were many other problems between my ex and I that were relationship ending all on their own, but that's still no excuse. I'm just glad that I still have my ex as a friend, and that he was able to see that we weren't right for each other. We married young...and definitely mistook "love" for being "in love".....two very different things.... and then stuck it out because that's what we thought we should do and was expected of us. We are both very happy now with other people, after a 14 year relationship with each other, and are still great friends. I STILL regret what happened though, because I do consider it cheating. You shouldn't be emotionally connected, share intimate details, or turn to another man or woman....you should be doing all that with your SO.