New LDR

[Glavian]

I've been reading all the posts on here about people dealing with separation issues and such after being together for a while (1 or more years) but I haven't found too many people talking about such things in a new relationship. My SO and I met two weeks ago, and while we've seen each other twice in that period it's unclear due to work schedules and finances when we're going to see each other again. I miss her terribly and I'm wondering what are some good coping mechanisms that others have used to help through this initial period of separation.

Thanks so much in advance,
Glavian

[jennten]

Honestly, the thing that helped me most initially was finding this site. I'd get so depressed and sad and I'd Google "how to deal with missing your boyfriend" and eventually, I ended up here. It's really nice to be able to log on and feel not so alone, you know? Because that's what's hardest at first- just feeling really really lonely. Reading posts and taking/giving advice here has really helped me out.
Other than that, try to talk whenever you can. Skyping is best since you actually get to see them. Sending them something in the mail is a good thing to do too, since everyone loves getting mail. Thinking of something to send/assembling it can also be a good way to occupy your mind.

[Glavian]

Thanks Jenn for that advice. Reading some of the posts on here have been helpful that's for sure; Beyond that I think I'm just trying to do everything I can to keep myself busy lol. We have been skyping, but again depending on work schedules even that has been difficult. I like the idea of making something and sending it to them; maybe I'll have to find something like that I can do.

[garnet]

I think a lot of us did come here at the very start of our LDR, and have been here a while now. During the early stages, distraction was key. My now husband and I played world of warcraft, which was great because we could play together, or play just fine if the other was at work or busy.
I'm sure your girlfriend would love any snail mail you sent her. Letters are good too! It's such a happy unexpected surprise to see an envelope that isn't a bill, from your SO, know what I mean?
I don't know how you guys met, but if you aren't from the same place, perhaps you could go out and take pictures of your town, and write up a bit about each shot. If she hasn't been to your home, take her on a photo tour if you can.
Then of course, this site is always awesome. Read for inspiration, read and help others, write up blogs about how you feel, lots to do on here.
Welcome to LFAD.

[Bobbiejeanne]

I'm just starting out in an LDR too. This website really helps! You can get a lot of advice and inspiration on things. What brought me here was right after me and my SO decided to stay together, I went on a google rampage until I found this site.
What you need is a good hobby, or something you can invest yourself into. For me, it's not too hard because I'm in college, I guess jump into my studies or clubs. But there are things you can do that don't require being in college.
I love writing, it really gets you sucked into a different place. I can get lost in something I'm creating for hours on end. It's the same with reading! If you're into video games, get you and your SO online accounts! (like garnet said above)
Find something your passionate for! It could even be community service, or making bird houses... whatever!

I hoped this helped some. I wish you the best of luck with your relationship! You've come to the right place

[Bean29]

I am new to a ldr but if you heart is in it anything will workout but everyone is right you have to keep yourself busy or you will like me started to have doubts and be worried ... but i finally talked to my SO about what i was feeling and he told me it was for always and forever i just started to calm down and be relaxed with the situation. I am so glad that i found this site be this is keeping me distracted. its nice because everyone on this one time went through what i am feeling and knows how lonely it gets. And you need that because unless someone is in this no one really knows how this feels so best of luck with your LDR!

[kteire]

The separation is hardest early on - at least, it was for me. My SO and I started CD, and even being away from him for a few days then was hard... but the initial 4 months when we became LD were torture. It was all worrying, sadness, loneliness, etc for the first while. But yes, I'm in agreement with everyone else - distract yourself!! I taught myself to knit and knit my SO a sweater for his birthday. I've been playing video games religiously (recently played FFVII-FFXII all the way through lol). And of course, having as much contact as you can both manage helps more than anything.
But best of luck, and welcome It's tough starting out, but it'll get easier, and there are lots of fantastic people here to help

[KimberlyJ]

An LDR takes a lot of patience, listening and understanding. When communicating via chat or email, tones and moods can be misunderstood. When you are in an LDR you get to know your SO from the inside out rather than the other way around which I feel makes a stronger connection. Good luck!

[Glavian]

Thank you all so much for all the advice. It's not easy but I have a feeling it will all be worth it in the end