So who is comming to who?

[Shortstuff]

Greetings all,
as the topic suggests I would just like to ask for suggestions on how to come up with an answer to this conumdrum. Naturally I wish it both to be equal and neither of us force the other into anything thus I was suggesting to compose a list together over skype video with her to decide which circumstance is better.

However, we must both take into consideration of our own personal circumstances regardless of how much we may want to see each other, hers are more solidified but mine can be varied in the upcomming months after December as my study course finishes then and im free for fulltime work (which makes finding a job -so- much easier as currently the odd times of study and my age interfere with getting a casual job here in the Gold Coast, Australia. My SO is in South Dakota, US)

We plan to see each other for three months (If I go to her) in between end of May to end of august next year, or if she comes to see me then it would be sometime during the same timeframe but she would only be able to stay a peroid of one month or so because she has to return for a large event which means a lot to her. I could go on for ages explaining both our circumstances but I dont really think you would all like to read a book rather than a simple post :P

So... please post suggestions, comments, perhaps even experiance. Ways to communicate across the best possible outcome for each other.

Thanks,
Shortstuff.

[Zephii]

The list thing is always a great way to go. We didn't visit much, being also international, but the times we did the person not working/studying was the person to fly over.

Basically the two things to look at are 1) which option is more financially viable for the time spent? and 2) what gives you more time together.

[Shortstuff]

I couldnt agree more. The difficulty however is that her seeing me is more financially viable, but the time spent would be me seeing her.. so we have a bit of a stalemate... >,<

[ClipitsWings]

My guy is coming to see me because it's easier for him to pay to come over during my summer/his winter. >>
Have you met before? If not maybe a shorter amount of time is better, just in case for the first time? Plus you said it'd be cheaper, I think, for her to visit you, so that'd maybe make it easier to build the savings back up enough for a second visit :P and then when it's easier on you to visit her, you can do that and not have to stress as much financially? Maybe? Does that make any sense? XD

[kteire]

Have you discussed sharing the cost, if that's feasible? My SO makes a lot more money than I do, so he'll shoulder a lot of the cost when we're together now, and he paid for part of my plane ticket over to visit him. I know that can be kind awkward bringing that sort of thing up, but if it means you can see each other for longer, it can definitely be worth it!!

[blferguson1s]

Just a thought on how I would look at it. You said her going to you means a month together but you going to her means 3 months. You going to her is more expensive, but how much more? If it were less than 3 times the cost, I would probably say go for it (if you can afford it). Is the only reason it's more expensive because it's more time together? If so, that only makes sense. If not, why is it more expensive?

[mickey's bird]

It's easier for me to go visit my partner (financially, our work schedules and I was decorating his new place) so we decided that I would go over to visit him in England. As he makes a lot more than I do, he paid for my ticket and I just paid to extend it and for some of our meals.

[Madge]

Maybe talk about spliting the costs? thats what my SO and I do.

[uniquefem]

First time, its me who visit him to Germany. Its not cheap! but its not the first time we meet too.
We both chips in for all, but he pay more of course, as his incomes much more than mine. The most important i think to look up for the economical way for both of you, which is going to spent less money than the other and have to see the reasons too.
For me i think it will be cheaper if he coming to asia, but then he want me to see Europe and explore it with him, as he also never travel just work there all the time.
Its a good thing that we should think about how to spent less, as i think its also a common issue for arguments after the visiting. When you look back and think either one of you spent too many on the trip.
Just try to do it with less hassle, more economical better. The most important is the time you both spent! and try to plan this together as talk about it to the details together so there will be no regrets!