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    #1

    First LDR!! :)

    Hello everyone!
    I'm new to this website, aswell as to a real LDR.

    I've just started dating an amazing man who happens to live 500km far from me, it's been three days since that, I admit that at first I was a little bit hesitating when he asked me, but once I made up my mind I thought that nothing could stop us!

    The problem came today, when all those doubts hit me again.. "Where did I get myself into? What if this doesn't work out?...."
    To be honest I used to think that a long distance relationship could never be possible, because of bad past experiences (with my ex we could only see each other on the weekends because he studied and lived away during the week, but apart from that, he "ignored" me and didn't even care to talk to me during the week or even pick up the phone when I called him, always giving me lame excuses to his behavior afterwards. So I suffered A LOT until I finally decided to end that..)

    I just don't know why I'm having those thoughts while I'M SURE about my feelings for my new boyfriend. He knows my fears about the LDR and has been really understanding, because he was there for me whenever my ex made me have a hard time, and now he's trying to make it easier for me, texting me a million times a day, chatting with me as many times as he can, etc.
    I am doing some effort on my part too, I've searched as much LDR information and advice and games as I could (I even joined this website thinking that people in the same situation could give some support to each other. By the way, it's awesome all the stuff you guys have on here!)

    So my question is, have you had this kind of doubts about your LDR at first? Or any problem at all getting used to this kind of relationship?
    Or am I just thinking too much about it? I do have to say that I'm really scared of getting hurt again.. though once I talk with him, or see him on cam all those bad feelings and insecurities disappear!


    Thank you for reading, and I'd really appreciate it if you could give me some kind of advice.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Originally posted by Sixx View Post
    Hello everyone!
    I'm new to this website, aswell as to a real LDR.

    I've just started dating an amazing man who happens to live 500km far from me, it's been three days since that, I admit that at first I was a little bit hesitating when he asked me, but once I made up my mind I thought that nothing could stop us!

    The problem came today, when all those doubts hit me again.. "Where did I get myself into? What if this doesn't work out?...."
    To be honest I used to think that a long distance relationship could never be possible, because of bad past experiences (with my ex we could only see each other on the weekends because he studied and lived away during the week, but apart from that, he "ignored" me and didn't even care to talk to me during the week or even pick up the phone when I called him, always giving me lame excuses to his behavior afterwards. So I suffered A LOT until I finally decided to end that..)

    I just don't know why I'm having those thoughts while I'M SURE about my feelings for my new boyfriend. He knows my fears about the LDR and has been really understanding, because he was there for me whenever my ex made me have a hard time, and now he's trying to make it easier for me, texting me a million times a day, chatting with me as many times as he can, etc.
    I am doing some effort on my part too, I've searched as much LDR information and advice and games as I could (I even joined this website thinking that people in the same situation could give some support to each other. By the way, it's awesome all the stuff you guys have on here!)

    So my question is, have you had this kind of doubts about your LDR at first? Or any problem at all getting used to this kind of relationship?
    Or am I just thinking too much about it?     I do have to say that I'm really scared of getting hurt again.. though once I talk with him, or see him on cam all those bad feelings and insecurities disappear!


    Thank you for reading, and I'd really appreciate it if you could give me some kind of advice.
    You got yourself into a relationship where love is in its purest form. Since every little thing now goes a long away, from a simple message everyday to a wish good night to your SO (significant other). And Yes many, many people out there say LDRs don't work... but you know what, THEY DO!! The distance will bring you closer together compared to a CDR, since you have countless hours to talk about each other and the future.

    As for I... did I have any doubts at first? Nope, none whatsoever.... I knew right from the beginning we had lots of things and common and we keep on finding out more every time we chat. My SO did have some doubts thou in the beginning... she was worried that it might not work out, but once she realized how much we love each other she knew it has to work out.

    For us getting use to this type of relationship was pretty easy... since we were already sending daily emails to each other. We then after chatting three weeks email only every day started talking on IM on weekends. That became talking on IM/Skype on weekends plus one day during the week. Currently we are talking everyday during the week and still writing our daily emails.

    Simply put... don't let the distance scare you, it will bring you two closer together!
    "Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle...rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be." ~ Anonymous
    "Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul." ~ St. Augustine
    "True love is rare, so when you find it don't let it go just because of a barrier you can't cross". ~ Ray H Wall

    Chris and Megan - November 3rd 2009- (Break from June 15- )July 18th 2011.

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      #3
      Congrats in entering a new relationship! I wish you the very best of luck as you embark on this challenging, but beautiful journey!
      Dont hesitate to ask for help/advice anytime!
      x

      Comment

        #4
        welcome to LFAD. everyone is so nice on here and will give you the best advice.
        i was in the same situation as you... been hurt in past reletionships, not only with an ex... but love will keep you going, just always be open and talk about these doubts and its bound to make things easier.
        this website is solid PROOF that people survive LDRs and continue to do so everyday... i hope this website helps you as much as it helps me x

        Comment

          #5
          my bf and i were dating for two days when i left his country and flew back to mine. there were LOTS of doubts. plus i had a lot of negative responses from my best friends. so it was really hard to get used to it, but we really really liked each other when we started. so he got a webcam and we've talked everyday since. i havent seen him now in 7 months, but our relationship is still really strong. i think its natural to have doubts, but its so worth it. you really get to know the person in an LDR, so in some ways i think that i have better relationships than my friends in CDR.
          best of luck with everything! the first few weeks are the hardest, but you get into a good routine that works for both of you after that!

          Comment

            #6
            I had those doubts a lot also. Sometimes I still do. I have known my boyfriend for a year and a half, but only "offically" together for 4 months. I still sometimes have these fears and anxieties.

            It is normal to think that LDR's dont work. That is what everyone tells you, but like someone said above, this website is proof that they do work. LDR's take A LOT of work on both parts, but you will start to know so much about your SO and you will fall deeper and deeper in love with him. Thats the nice thing about LDR's. you get that changce to know them..the REAL them, not a cover up that people usually have when they first meet in real life. You will know what makes their heart sing, what annoys them..everything!

            Its hard to not compare a new relationship or any relationship to an old one. But it sounds like your new boyfriend is doing a good job at keeping in touch with you. Just take it as it comes. And its sooo worth the wait.
            Congrats on your new relationship

            Comment

              #7
              Thank you for all your comments!!! That helped a lot

              Comment

                #8
                well hey welcome!!! Yeah i had those doubt i still get them now and again, but who doesnt? I used to think that it could never be possible to be with someone that was long distance because they weren't in the same room as you, but with my girl i have never loved someone the way i love her in all my life, im so lucky to have her in my life. and it is hard from time to time and not everybody is cut out for it, you both have to work hard at making it work, but in the end when all things are said and done and you finally get to be with that person the rest of your life, all the waiting, all the tears, all the anger, ect will be worth it in the end!

                Comment

                  #9
                  I was in that situation too! When my boyfriend and I started going out, we decided to keep it casual (sort of "let's just have fun kind of thing) because he's going back to the US after a month and we don't know when he can come back for another visit. But then the times we spent together were so wonderful and we really click that we decided to go for it and be in an LDR. It was so scary especially when he was about to leave. I was full of doubts and I also was afraid of the pain that his departure would bring. But now I know I made the right decision to be in an LDR with him. Sure, it's hard but it is so worth it. I'm sure one of these days your doubts will lessen and you'll just focus on how wonderful your relationship is.

                  Comment

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