How do I make this work?

[jennyjellybeans]

I don't know if theres a post like this, but I'd really like some advice from the older LDR couples on here! This is about making an LDR work with schooling and work.

Me and my SO are in a point of life where we will be choosing where we are going and what we will be doing. I am going to be a senior in highschool this year, and he's going to be taking EMT basic training and he's thinking of becoming a wildland firefighter. I still don't know exactly what I'll be doing, I was thinking culinary school but I really need to get a job at a resteraunt simply to see how things work in that business. Now what I'm concerned with is how to make it all work with my years of schooling and his schooling and training.

I just wanted to know how other people going to college and working make their LDR's work. I assume it's not going to be easy with SO much going on at this point of life.

Also what about visiting? How do we make it work? I'm only 17 and my parents are pretty strict, so I highly doubt they'd let me go all the way to see him by myself...and I don't think either of them would take me there. I feel bad because I really want to visit him in the future, I don't want to make him come to me all the time.

[Lina]

First of all, it is hard to dodge daily duties and get to spend time with your SO. It's not impossible though, it just takes planning. Set a time when you can both be online, even if it's for an hour or less, important is to keep in touch.
Secondly, I am in the same situation with travelling. But for now there's not much that you can do, cause we all know that when parents set their minds on something is pretty difficult to change it, unless you argue hardcore xD Don't worry for the future though (that he'll be the only one visiting) - you'll soon be 18 and you'll get more freedom, slowly but surely. Things change

[Yaaamiii]

This one's a toughie, at least to me, because each situation is different. I'm in college and so is my SO, but we aren't working at the same time. I'm actually not sure if he will find a job over at his new school but I probably will not be. It does take up a lot of time though. Because it seems like if you're not going to class/studying, you're working. If you're used to talking to your SO a lot, you may be shocked at the difference when he starts college. (I'm assuming that's what he's doing? Wasn't too clear). How far away are you guys? How far away from you is he going to school? Is he going to live on campus or not?

[Kat Marie]

It's definitely a balancing act when it comes to school, distance, and work. My SO moved to Florida from our hometown for film school. Our relationship started after he moved, though, so it's always been long distance. Film school required long hours, and my degree at my university has kept me pretty busy, as well. I work a part time job (two, now!). We just made sure to talk when we could. Our LDR is somewhat lucky in the fact that he's from my hometown, so he comes home for certain breaks - winter break, holidays, etc. And I had my spring break, my summer break, etc. We've managed to see each other every 2-3 months. It gets easier as you get older! So the first year or so might be difficult - you're going to be focusing on your university, the excitement surrounding college, making new friends, getting to learn about your career, and other stuff. This is important! Have fun with it! Your SO and you should support each other as individuals. In the meantime, when it comes to visiting... You'll be legal in a year and quite frankly, your parents can't really say what you can and can't do at that point. If you want to save up your money and book a ticket to him, do it. Take a good approach to it though, and explain it to them and let them know how much you care about him and be mature about the situation. You can't expect your parents to rule your life forever - respect them, let them get to know him through webcam or something, then see how it goes. Just be smart about it. And if you can't visit him, and he can't take time off to visit you, you'll just have to play the waiting game and have an internet/phone based relationship for a while :/ It's tough but it's been done. Some people on here haven't met their SO and have been together for years.

[chwdg10]

Both my boyfriend and I are in college and we work about 30 hours a week. It's actually not that hard to still spend time together while handling school and work. When ever we sign up for a new semester, we both email each other our class schedules and every week we let each other know when we'll be working. Between the two of us there's a 3 hour time difference which works well with our work schedules. He works at a restaurant and I work at a gym and we both get home around the same time. This gives us a chance to spend time together at night. When we're in school, we usually text each other to stay in touch during the day. We also find time together on the weekends.

You may want to keep track of each others schedules too so you can get an idea of when you can spend time together. If you're both in school, do your homework together over skype. Basically staying in contact somehow will help you keep touch with your SO (from my experience).