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Weird situation, I guess

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    #1

    Weird situation, I guess

    So unlike what seems most of you on here my boyfriend (fiance technically, but that's a long story) are going from a very close distance relationship--living on the same college campus, then in the same building on campus (living out of each other's rooms basically-never apart for very long), then living in the same house (my house) all summer--to a LDR of 8 hours. We've done the distance thing before but it was for a set amount of time, ex. "so many days of christmas break and then I'll come and stay with you." The longest we've been apart was 3 weeks at the end of the spring semester because he withdrew from our university.

    We both know we can handle it; it's just the anticipation of an open-ended separation that's getting to me on top of OUR old friends wanting nothing to do with him anymore because of some stuff that went down at the end of the semester. So it's not like I can even talk to people about him if I happen to miss him.

    I guess this is me thinking out loud while at the same time asking for advice for what to do to keep myself sane while I "adjust" to being without him.
    ". . . We obviously have to come to accept it, but that doesn't stop it from gnawing at us day by day.
    The best we can do is enjoy our time together, anticipate our reunions, and remain passionate and loyal through distance." ~Mike <3



    ~*~11.21.2010~*~
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    #2
    We're in a similar situation. My SO and I were CD before he left for the military. Now I won't see him until Christmas. We weren't together as a couple for very long before he left, but we've been friends for years, so it's been very difficult since he left, because it's like losing a boyfriend and a best friend at the same time. Well, not "losing" him, but sometimes it feels that way.

    It's also hard for me to talk about it with most people as most of my friends don't really know him and get annoyed or wonder why we're even together at all with such a distance, and I feel like I can't talk to our mutual friends about it much, because my ex-boyfriend is actually his best friend (a long story there), and we haven't really told him that we're official or anything. Even though he would be okay with it, I don't want to start any unnecessary drama (probably still causing it by not telling him, but it's his bestie and therefore his decision). So in order to keep the ex from knowing too much, I don't talk about it much with that circle of friends.

    So I kinda understand where you're coming from, and I'm glad you joined the forum. Because that's why we're all here: to talk to one another about this stuff.
    Why do you wait for me?
    How do you wait for me?
    I'm lost and alone without you here in my arms.
    I'm lost and alone without you here by my side.
    Here's a song for you, lovely
    Remember that it's for you only, for you only.
    My heart is caught in a landslide
    And it beats for you only, for you only.
    -"My Lovely" by Eisley

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      #3
      Actually, I'm in a somewhat similar situation. My boyfriend and I were CD at first, then he went to college and we were LD for a year. During that year I did research into his school (because I knew it was a small school) and looked up my majors program. Its a good program, so I ended up transferring and we were together all of our sophomore year on campus. However, even before I transferred to his school I knew he was going to transfer out after sophomore year because its the way his program works. So now we'll be going back to LD, which shakes me up a lot. I feel the same way and wonder the same things. I'll just have to hang out with friends and talk to him every night on skype like we used to when we were LD. It's gonna hurt because his memory is everywhere I go (its a really small campus, there's pretty much no place that we haven't been together). But I'll have to be strong for the both of us. School work, studying, and hanging out with friends should fill in most of the gap I'll have. We were pretty much inseparable.

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        #4
        I totally get what you're saying. Technically, I live maybe 10 minutes tops from my boyfriend when we're both home, but at college (at least for the moment) we're a little over 2,000 miles away. It'll be weird to be away from him for a couple of months, then come back for winter break... then leave again.
        We'll be a weird mixture of CDR and LDR.

        Being on this site really helps. I love reading through the forums and giving/getting advice. So far, to save my sanity, I've been hanging out with my friends a lot, and diving head first into my hobbies, like reading and writing. I would do a show, because theatre is the ULTIMATE distraction, but I'm so close to leaving for college, I can't jump into any shows. Oh well....
        Every long lost dream led me to where you are
        Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
        Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
        This much I know is true...
        That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you

        |First Met: 02/28/14|Exchanged Numbers: 03/07/14|First Date: 03/14/14|First Kiss: 03/21/14 |Became a couple: 04/05/14|

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          #5
          LFAD has been a huge help for me and the blog I maintain here. It's good just having a place to come and talk about your relationship without being judged. It's hard for me talking about my LDR with my friends because they aren't in similar situations so it's really hard for them to understand.

          My SO and I were long distance to begin with, but we did close the distance for almost a year and we've been back to being LDR for a year almost exactly. It was very hard in the beginning just adjusting to being long distance this time since we had been close distance. I think the only thing that has helped me really adjust is finding other ways to occupy my time (I spent tons of time with my bf before), coming here and getting support, finding new things for us to do as a couple since we are LD, and just communicated with him a lot.

          After a while, you do get used to things. I'm not sure if it gets easier per se, but it sure isn't as hard as at first.

          Comment

            #6
            Originally posted by Mara View Post
            LFAD has been a huge help for me and the blog I maintain here. It's good just having a place to come and talk about your relationship without being judged. It's hard for me talking about my LDR with my friends because they aren't in similar situations so it's really hard for them to understand.
            I hear you on this one. Pff, and seriously, it's more annoying when they don't understand it but yet they judge it and say "Oh, I'm not judging you, just trying to advise you...". -face palm-

            Buuut back to topic (and sorry for going astray a bit, lol), it gets easier in time I suppose. Being a mix of close distance with long distance, and going back and forth in between them could make it a bit more frustrating (you have your SO where you want him to be - close to you, then it's time to say goodbye again). Stay strong

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