Angry at him... for nothing?

[lunamea]

I don't see this as a "girl's problem." I just think that women generally show their disappointment much more than men... either by being angry or by being sad or both! I can think of quite a few instances when my husband was really down because I couldn't call as much but he would never admit to it! He'd say that he was really down, but either he never made that connection or he knew that it might be because we didn't talk a lot and just thought he would seem a wimp if he admitted to it. He told me to snap out of it more times I can remember, saying that it's not the end of the world or like someone had died, so he clearly disapproves of that kind of behavior. A typical "boys don't cry" thing - I'm sure they feel just as hurt when neglected, they just don't show it.

I also think it's not a bad thing to give them a taste of their own medicine from time to time. I've found that I usually can't stay really mad for long either, but if I feel he really wronged me, I try to stay mad and not give in.

[So_Far_Away]

Yeah, I'd agree with lunamea. Guys feel it just the same, but either wont show it, or wont show it in a way that's obvious. When we last saw each other, we both knew that it was going to be about another two months, and he got really really over the top with the hugging and that... Which I don't mind in privet, but I'm not a PDA kinda girl. Normally he knows this, and understands that the most he's getting is holding hands and an occassional peck on the cheek when no one else is that close to us. Last time (and other times when he's stressed or nervous) he forgets that and just wants to be physically a bit closer while he can be. Or when the distance gets to him, he actually puts 'xxx' at the end of a text - never normally does that. Men and women (and people in general) just deal with things differently. I know now when he feels like that, and then I can try to be more attentive. He knows and does the same. As long as I'm not PMSing at the same time... Then we're all good *giggles*.

[Caitlin2009]

Aw it's ok. We all do it. Last time I did this (got angry at him no matter what he did/said) I told him I was entitled to it. The distance it not easy, it really sucks! I deal with it just fine day after day after day.....and after a while it just gets too be way overwhelming. But I cope with it very well majority of the time I think I'm entitled to flying off the handle now and then. I find I tend to react with anger when I get overly stressed with school and the distance......it's like I'm just tired of being so far away and I miss him so much it almost physically hurts and I want more than anything just to have one kiss one hug....my heart just can't take it, I don't know how to respond or cope with it and I end up getting angry with him for everything he does. [[i told him that too. I apologized for being so crazy and being angry with him all week, but I told him all that about coping with it just fine and he needs to just deal with me being crazy for a week every couple of months. lol]]

It has basically everything to do with the distance and being so far away (for me at least). When he's home we spend a lot of time together but we still do our own thing. I am more than ok with giving him guy time or hanging out with him and his friends. But no matter what, at the end of the day, he's still coming home giving me kisses, holding me in his arms, and sleeping next to me. But in our current situation I don't have anything.....not a kiss, not a hug, not even a slight brush of his arm against mine. All I have are our phone calls and webcam sessions. When those don't go how you want them to, or he's not so sensitive (making it suggestive instead of being sweet about it) well I'd get angry too.

He knows by now...if I'm getting angry at him for almost anything it's probably just me stressed out with other things and just not being capable of dealing with the distance as well. I've told him that when he's away too long and I miss him so much my heart gets heavy, it start to physically hurt to be so far away for so long.....and sometimes it's just easier to be mad at him than hurt like that. We also have about 11 months/1 week [my countdown ticker in my signatrure. ] until we are CDR.....and I'm beyond ready for it and it's so close, but still so far.

Idk. That's sort of how I feel and why I think I react the way I do sometimes. I've also told him all that. Explained to him why I some times act the way I do. I do it in an email bc I'm better at writing my feelings, I get too emotional when I talk about it. He doesn't usually write back, but it makes it easier for him when he understands why I'm doing what I do. He also usually kind of lets it "run it's course" and might try to text/call a little more. It helps him understand how to deal with me and react to me. Hope it helps..........

i so agree! Im brave about 90% of the time, but almost every month especially when im PMSing being brave is not an option because the distance just sucks, and your heart is so heavy from it breaking and love i have for her its good to let it all out because its needed, i know she does it more often then she lets on and has confessed to it lol so its hard on the both of us. my brother once asked me why i was upset and i was like "I miss her" and i was met with a sarcastic "oh brother!!" and its like what??? im not allowed to miss her??? they'll be something wrong if i didnt, jeez some people act like its a crime to miss that person just because there long distance, and its like hellooo i love her, she loves me, were dating and engaged, and at some point were gonna live in the same house together and get married its just gonna take a few years, and at the moment we are unable to see each other so jeez give us a break!!!