How long did you talk before you considered the other person your SO?

[Butterfly78]

Hi all,

I was wondering how long you talked to your SO before you actually considered them your SO and made it exclusive. Did it happen before you met in person, or just after talking to someone over the phone, etc. alot? My first LDR was only 2 hours away and after talking a few weeks, he came over to see me about 5-6 times. Then I went over for a weekend to meet his family, and he told me he considered me his girlfriend. We were engaged shortly after, got married, then ended up divorced (due to other issues, not having anything to do with how we met-as some of my relatives think internet relationships are nothing but trouble). We are still friends.


Anyway, I was just wondering how long before others decided to be exclusive and if you met each other in person first. The man I am talking to now lives 700 miles away, so it is obviously going to be very different than my previous relationship. We have talked nearly every night-sometimes 3-4 times a day, for the past month, after e-mailing each other a few times and are hoping to meet soon.

I am hoping some of you can give me some insight since I know some of you are in relationships where one of you is in a completely different country and it wasn't possible to meet right away or see each other in person as often as you would like.

[Laura_N]

Well. We have talked from January and we met in July for the first time. We have both agreed it's not a relationship even though we both have strong feelings towards each other, we are not dating others and we are planning to meet again and have some plans for what's coming. We talked about it and we're "dating". However I find it easier just to call her my SO instead of going "well this chick I'm dating from long distance". Someone else in our position would call it a relationship, but I do like to take things slow and not rush in to it.

[leonsfangirl]

2 and a half years! lol
I was already married when i met my SO, so couldnt really have a proper relationship until my marriage ended September last year and i entered into a commited relationship with my SO in October. We are roughly 6 weeks away from our first meeting and he will be moving to the UK (from Canada) as soon as we can figure it out.
I don't think theres a right and a wrong time to define your relationship or a right amount of time to wait before you can become official. If you want to call him your boyfriend then go right ahead, its YOUR relationship you can call it what you want to.

[Rosebud]

Me and my boyfriend absolutely rushed into it. We spoke to each other about a month, maybe a little longer but not by much, strictly online, before he told me he loved me and we decided in elevating our relationship status to boy/girlfriend. I know he showed me his photo early on but I honestly can't remember if it was before or after we became a couple and I don't remember when he saw mine. It took a little while longer before we went on webcam. I admit this made things rocky at first and we almost split up as we took it a bit too much too fast. But we met in person a little over a year later after that. Some people might consider us 'official' from that point. I don't really know. All I know is the 2nd year anniversary from when he first said I love you is around the corner and we've somehow still made it

[Butterfly78]

Thanks for the replies. In reading through other threads, etc., I am so happy to see so many people have made a LDR work no matter the circumstances. It gives me some hope that things can work.

[snow_girl]

It took about 2 months to have the talk about it but neither of us saw anyone else after we met.

[MissVampyxo]

It took us two months, after about a few weeks I really started liking him but wasn't sure if he actually liked me back and the next month I asked him if we were together. And he said no and it hurt me a lot... yet he said he wanted to be. He was afraid cause our age difference and also just the whole long distance. But after 2 months he finally said he didn't care and wanted to be with me. So then that's when we decided to be 'exclusive'. It was the happiest day of my life!

[heylittlekrissy]

Well, we've known each other for about 3 and 1/2 years as friends, confessed our feelings for each other about a year later, but weren't actually exclusive until March of this year. We still have not met and it's going to be at least another year before it will even be possible for us to try.

[lucybelle]

One month after we met, he told me he loved me, but we still weren't in a relationship. We told each other we loved each other for the next 1.5 years, but were in an open relationship because of the distance. Finally, we made it official/exclusive!

[Yaaamiii]

Jaja, my SO talked to me for the first time exactly one year before the day he asked me out (funny story). We didn't talk much from may to december. Then in December his twin brother told me I should talk to him, and somehow we both ended up literally having 6-10 hour conversations every night. So as you can assume, we both know each other like the back of our hands . Crazy I know jaja! We started dating in May of 2009

[kiara_silver]

It happened very very fast for us, maybe a month? We both wanted to be more i hinted at it he asked me. So was very fast but here we are together in person madly in love 2 years later, so doesn't matter how quick or how long. Depends on the people and the connection.

[rivi87]

Well we met in person first at training..We talked for 10 months until I decided to give in and be his girlfriend...sometimes I am just too stubborn for my own good..one of the best choices I have made in my life

[NonyaB]

3-4 months...and one day he just asked if I had a myself a man yet when I said no, he said good I'll be your man then, and that was that lol neither of us were seeing other people beforehand even when we were just friends, but when he told me he'd be my man we made sure we were both in agreement that we were making this official and it would be exclusive. However, we forgot when that was exactly lol so in order to have a 'date' of when it was official we decided to make it the first day we spoke on the phone, so since that day we've been together 'officially' for almost 3 months, 'unofficially' we've been together longer lol.

[books]

Well, we were very casual acquaintances for about a year (as in I knew who he was but really didn't pay him any mind). He began sending messages thru some mutual friends that he wanted to talk to me, we began talking and let me know he was interested. I was so reluctant to get involved with anybody. For about a month and a half, despite spending a lot of time with him and really feeling myself fall for him, I looked for every excuse not to get involved. One day I had to go work on an NGO project in a super poor area completely inaccessible by transportation (this was in his country). The person who was supposed to go with me cancelled the night before. I asked some other people and they all said no...too far, takes too long to walk there, too dangerous and isolated. Finally, as a last ditch effort, I asked him if he would be able to go. He said "absolutely" and showed up 15 minutes early the next day so he could go with me. It was then I pretty much decided he was a keeper. I told him the next day I was ready to be official and the rest is history

[blankita719]

When we met almost 15 years ago, we talked for a couple of weeks and decided to give the LDR a try - we are both committed people so he was my SO from the beginning. Last summer when he came down and admitted he still loved me, we jumped in right away again. I think it just varies on the people involved and their comfort level.