The cycle of the LDR over the long term

[SeaLover]

This is definitely one of my favorite threads, because I think just about everyone on LFAD can relate to this situation. I love reading everyone's advice on here.
I have been in love with my girlfriend for 3 years now and we have been long distance for over a year now. When she live in Kentucky for all those months, I thought it was hard then, but now that she's moved closer, it seems that we dont get to talk as much as we used to, which makes it so much harder. It's knowing that I could actually drive to her house in just a few short hours, but I can't because of money and school.
I'm in the "trough of the wave" at the moment, but there's always another crest. If I didn't love her as much as I do, I definitely would think twice before being in this situation. Just knowing that we will one day be together, although there's no set time frame yet, that's all i really need to give me hope.
Best of luck to ya and never give up hope.

[NaNi]

Yeah. Definitely. We have our really happy times, but we also have our hard times. This year has been especially rough for example. We fought. A lot. We never fought this much before. I was so scared that we wouldn't make it. But now we're both so happy and hopeful again. It's such a wonderful feeling. I do think it's normal to go through such "cycles" in a LDR. It's just not easy.

[churchgrim]

I've faced this cycle for our whole relationship.
It will be four years soon, all long distance, so I definitely know how the distance can get to you.

There have been many times I've struggled with the distance and let it get to me, to the point where I've nearly broken up with him.
And like you, a lot of those times he can't really make me feel any better about it because the distance is still there and will still be there for a while.
But I hold on because I know that I love him so deeply, and that the distance is just a means to the end.
We have so many dreams for our relationship and I can't let the distance stop us from trying our hardest to make them come true.

Every time I feel depressed about the distance, I feel like I can't go on with it, but once I finally get over it we have such special memories that leave me more open to waiting until we finally meet.
There's one quote by Oscar Wilde that I find suits this cycle very well: “If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.”

[solarkissed]

I haven't been with my SO for very long, it's definitely not a long-term, long distance relationship. Not yet. But we're looking at not being able to close the distance for a least three years. The thought of that alone, can send me into hopeless depression. There have been a few nights, when I would love to have him hold me or give me a hug - especially on those days where it's been rough day at work, my teenage daughter has me stressing, or I'm dealing with just the day-to-day stress of life. In those moments I feel like I'm not strong enough to survive the distance. But then I think about my life without him and how unhappy I'd be. When I'm in those moods, it helps me to daydream about the future and our life together after we've closed the distance (even if there isn't a firm date in sight). It gives me something to work for as each day gets me closer to THAT arbitrary day.

I want to thank everyone that's posted to this thread. It's definitely been encouraging to me!

[mickey's bird]

I think every couple in a long distance relations goes through that. I was also going through the lows before I found this site and received encouragement from some members and spoke to SO about it. I tend to be optimistic about the future and keep telling myself that this is a test and will make our relationship stronger. Once we get past this stage and are able to be together on a permanent basis, we will appreciate it more. I wonder if others in a long distance relationship feel the same way?

[TheBadRomancer]

I think that's part of being in an LDR is having those moments of hopelessness and doubt, but overcoming them.